My brother the drug addict
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 2
My brother the drug addict
In my last thread I posted about one of my brothers, P, but in this one I would like to talk about my other brother, M.
Just recently, my brother's name was all over the town newspaper, social media, online news stories, basically everywhere, because he was indicted on charges of possession of fentanyl.
It's embarrassing. I'm from a small town and my brother is only 2 years older than me so we always knew the same people growing up. Everybody in our town knows about my family and the drug use and it's embarrassing. I get the looks of disgust from some people and pity from others and I hate it. I wish I could have people realize that I am not them, they are the drug addicts and that is not who I am.
How do people cope with the embarrassment of everybody looking at you like drug addiction is contagious or something?! I try not to let what other people think bother me but I can't seem to help it. I also feel guilty for feeling embarrassed because they are my family and I should have their backs but it's just hard
Just recently, my brother's name was all over the town newspaper, social media, online news stories, basically everywhere, because he was indicted on charges of possession of fentanyl.
It's embarrassing. I'm from a small town and my brother is only 2 years older than me so we always knew the same people growing up. Everybody in our town knows about my family and the drug use and it's embarrassing. I get the looks of disgust from some people and pity from others and I hate it. I wish I could have people realize that I am not them, they are the drug addicts and that is not who I am.
How do people cope with the embarrassment of everybody looking at you like drug addiction is contagious or something?! I try not to let what other people think bother me but I can't seem to help it. I also feel guilty for feeling embarrassed because they are my family and I should have their backs but it's just hard
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 42
Hi youngersibling7
I posted a reply on your other thread "How to cope with a family of drug addicts". I hope it helps a little with your problem. However the conundrum you face in living in a small town full of judgemental people who feel they have the right to look down their noses at you and your family in your time of grief and pain is especially hard to address, and I must admit I am at a loss.
The only thing I can suggest is to try and convince your parents to move house to another town or city but I know that is a tall ask of anyone, especially if they have lived there for quite sometime. Again, all I suggest you and the members of your family that are suffering so much under the cruel and judgemental gaze of those to whom it is no business to judge, especially when they obviously have no inclination to help: please try Nar-Anon, the meetings are full of people who really 'get' it and understand where you're coming from. They can support you in this horrible situation so symptomatic of living in a small town surrounded by people with a claustrophobic mindset.
Good luck and may God be with you and bless you and your family, dear friend.
The only thing I can suggest is to try and convince your parents to move house to another town or city but I know that is a tall ask of anyone, especially if they have lived there for quite sometime. Again, all I suggest you and the members of your family that are suffering so much under the cruel and judgemental gaze of those to whom it is no business to judge, especially when they obviously have no inclination to help: please try Nar-Anon, the meetings are full of people who really 'get' it and understand where you're coming from. They can support you in this horrible situation so symptomatic of living in a small town surrounded by people with a claustrophobic mindset.
Good luck and may God be with you and bless you and your family, dear friend.
Last edited by Seska; 07-22-2017 at 11:29 PM. Reason: To correct a typo in the title containing the thread starter's username
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I have dealt with small town mentality and here's my take...YOU have done nothing wrong. You can hold your head up high and continue to be the best person you know how to be.
Anyone who would turn their nose up at you or anyone else in your family is saying more about themselves than what they are thinking of you. What they are saying about themselves is that they are judgemental, egotistical, narrow minded boors who must be so insecure of their own "status" that they have to make judgement on others in order to feel "above" them.
Poo on them and all who are shallow minded. Poo on what they think and why they think it.
It's times like this when you find out who your friends are...and who they are NOT.
Walk proudly, you are a good person worthy of love and respect. Poo on anyone who doubts that.
Just my 2 cents worth...I won't ask for change.
Hugs
Anyone who would turn their nose up at you or anyone else in your family is saying more about themselves than what they are thinking of you. What they are saying about themselves is that they are judgemental, egotistical, narrow minded boors who must be so insecure of their own "status" that they have to make judgement on others in order to feel "above" them.
Poo on them and all who are shallow minded. Poo on what they think and why they think it.
It's times like this when you find out who your friends are...and who they are NOT.
Walk proudly, you are a good person worthy of love and respect. Poo on anyone who doubts that.
Just my 2 cents worth...I won't ask for change.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: NORTHFIELD
Posts: 188
Unfortunately, I so understand your problem...
I too am in a small town. My stepson is the addict, and he is a jr. named after his father. I work for the Town and spent 15 years building my professional reputation. To have it all be brought into question because of his bad choices. He has used our address, even when not living with us. So when it hits the paper, it is My husbands name, and our address. It has had a devastating effect on our lives. emotionally, financially, reputation wise, job loss etc.
I try to keep it to myself, not throw stepson under the bus. Keep the family problems to ourselves... but the judgement here... yikes! People are judging me, I've never done a hard drug in my life!!!!
Here's the thing though... in this small town, we have a huge drug problem...you are hard pressed to find someone who doesn't have an addict in their life...so the judgement is lessening somewhat, you would hope anyway.
YOU haven't done anything. People will always judge, it's not right or fair. But as long as you are right with YOUR choices, you have nothing to feel bad about. Keep your head up. You're not alone. Sorry it sucks.
I too am in a small town. My stepson is the addict, and he is a jr. named after his father. I work for the Town and spent 15 years building my professional reputation. To have it all be brought into question because of his bad choices. He has used our address, even when not living with us. So when it hits the paper, it is My husbands name, and our address. It has had a devastating effect on our lives. emotionally, financially, reputation wise, job loss etc.
I try to keep it to myself, not throw stepson under the bus. Keep the family problems to ourselves... but the judgement here... yikes! People are judging me, I've never done a hard drug in my life!!!!
Here's the thing though... in this small town, we have a huge drug problem...you are hard pressed to find someone who doesn't have an addict in their life...so the judgement is lessening somewhat, you would hope anyway.
YOU haven't done anything. People will always judge, it's not right or fair. But as long as you are right with YOUR choices, you have nothing to feel bad about. Keep your head up. You're not alone. Sorry it sucks.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
