History
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 2
History
I am new to this type of thing but I feel compelled to wright something as I have been reading here for about three weeks and I has given me great resolve and I am sticking with the plan.
Most of my young adult life I was a heavy social drinker from 16-38. raised 2 kids, Am self employed with a successful business. from age 30-38 or so I became a functional alcoholic. Along about that time the love of my life (My wife then and now) came along and sat me down and said I needed to make some real changes in my life or life as we know it would change. After a long hard look at my self and what direction I wanted go I made the commitment to give up the Booze and become a better parent, husband, businessman well you get the idea. Anyway after a couple of years of searching for something to replace the booze I found exercise, oboy . Started doing all the things I always wanted to do. Backpack, kayak, Mt bike, and so on. I was in the best shape of my life at 50. weight 180 . Life went well for a more years than Boom. Three significant events came along 2 deaths and the loss of a great deal of my retirement. It started small a beer here 2 beers there. Mind you this is after being totally sober for 10 plus years. Hey but I knew I could handle it and not go back to the old me after all it had been so long I can control this!!!! 2011 rolled around I can control this oh maybe a shot here or there, I think I will stop by and bye a bottle its Christmas. New Years I better stop and bye a different flavor for that. Can you see a pattern here? Zoom ahead to 2017. For the last 3 years I cant remember a time for more than 3 or 4 days of being sober. I mean Hardcore drinker start at 5 am finish at 10 pm. My wife moved out of the bedroom because I snored, tossed and turned. got up and and went to the bathroom all night long. Anyway that just made it easy to drink more. All the time hiding it from everyone but no one. Got very good at lying to myself and all those around me. Hurting the ones that love me became 2nd nature and I did not care as long as I had my vodka all was forgiven. I am not sure why my wife has chosen to stick around and support me also both kids . But with out them I do not think I could make the changes in my life that I have. Anyhow I woke up the first of July and took a look at myself and my "health"
59, 334 lbs cant breath, cant walk for long, pretty sure I am a prime candidate for type 2 diabetes, never get a good nights sleep. How did I get here??? I know how, to much Booze.
Been dry 21 days now, went to see Doc on Wednesday, had blood work done this AM. Have a great outlook on life at the moment.
do not know if this will help anyone out there not to fall backwards.
But it made me feel better. And thanks for all the posts out there it has helped me a lot just to know I am not alone in this.
Most of my young adult life I was a heavy social drinker from 16-38. raised 2 kids, Am self employed with a successful business. from age 30-38 or so I became a functional alcoholic. Along about that time the love of my life (My wife then and now) came along and sat me down and said I needed to make some real changes in my life or life as we know it would change. After a long hard look at my self and what direction I wanted go I made the commitment to give up the Booze and become a better parent, husband, businessman well you get the idea. Anyway after a couple of years of searching for something to replace the booze I found exercise, oboy . Started doing all the things I always wanted to do. Backpack, kayak, Mt bike, and so on. I was in the best shape of my life at 50. weight 180 . Life went well for a more years than Boom. Three significant events came along 2 deaths and the loss of a great deal of my retirement. It started small a beer here 2 beers there. Mind you this is after being totally sober for 10 plus years. Hey but I knew I could handle it and not go back to the old me after all it had been so long I can control this!!!! 2011 rolled around I can control this oh maybe a shot here or there, I think I will stop by and bye a bottle its Christmas. New Years I better stop and bye a different flavor for that. Can you see a pattern here? Zoom ahead to 2017. For the last 3 years I cant remember a time for more than 3 or 4 days of being sober. I mean Hardcore drinker start at 5 am finish at 10 pm. My wife moved out of the bedroom because I snored, tossed and turned. got up and and went to the bathroom all night long. Anyway that just made it easy to drink more. All the time hiding it from everyone but no one. Got very good at lying to myself and all those around me. Hurting the ones that love me became 2nd nature and I did not care as long as I had my vodka all was forgiven. I am not sure why my wife has chosen to stick around and support me also both kids . But with out them I do not think I could make the changes in my life that I have. Anyhow I woke up the first of July and took a look at myself and my "health"
59, 334 lbs cant breath, cant walk for long, pretty sure I am a prime candidate for type 2 diabetes, never get a good nights sleep. How did I get here??? I know how, to much Booze.
Been dry 21 days now, went to see Doc on Wednesday, had blood work done this AM. Have a great outlook on life at the moment.
do not know if this will help anyone out there not to fall backwards.
But it made me feel better. And thanks for all the posts out there it has helped me a lot just to know I am not alone in this.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by matt59 
do not know if this will help anyone out there not to fall backwards.
But it made me feel better.
But it made me feel better.
listening/ reading for the similarities and honest sharing
grats on 21 days
stick around another week+ and get a 1 month chip !
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Wow that sounds almost scary. Glad you were able to draw a line in the sand and realize that you were killing yourself. I believe its also going to be very helpful that you have a support system in place with your wife and kids. Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Hey, Matt. Thanks for posting. It takes courage to lay it all out on the line like that for strangers to read. You sound like you are headed in the right direction and you have resolve. That is very commendable. AND you already have 21 days already under your belt. Congratulations! Keep on posting! Head on over the the 24 Hour Recovery Connection daily thread (click here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6545936). We are a super fun group!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,519
Very helpful post, Matt. Congrats on your 21 sober days.
I once had 3 yrs. sober & decided I could have 'a couple' now and then. 7 yrs. of trying to control it - and in the end I was reckless and broken. That's when I found SR. Checking in here daily for almost 10 yrs. has given me courage and inspiration. Glad you found us! Welcome.
I once had 3 yrs. sober & decided I could have 'a couple' now and then. 7 yrs. of trying to control it - and in the end I was reckless and broken. That's when I found SR. Checking in here daily for almost 10 yrs. has given me courage and inspiration. Glad you found us! Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Glad you're here.
You can do what you did before, again.
I found so much help here. I showed up a mess, and when I decided to stop the hiding, and really live my life, I had to do the work myself but found guidance for it here. This site is a good tool if you use it.
Congrats on your 21 days.
In Gratitude
B
You can do what you did before, again.
I found so much help here. I showed up a mess, and when I decided to stop the hiding, and really live my life, I had to do the work myself but found guidance for it here. This site is a good tool if you use it.
Congrats on your 21 days.
In Gratitude
B
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