Nikkabean326

Just about three months sober here and in the past week I've been doing a lot of research on the minimalist lifestyle. In the past few months I have looked around my condo and realized just how much stuff I've accumulated. I was just over on the minimalist subreddit, when someone mentioned dishware and I realized that I still have my white wine glasses, pinot noir glasses, stoppers, aerator, and fancy wine bottle openers. The thought of giving these items away actually gave me a frog in the throat. I felt like I might cry. I feel like I'm not upset about never drinking again.. I'm upset about losing the romance of having a glass of wine. The very second I felt this way I had to come here to write. It took me by complete surprise. Has anyone experienced something like this? Crazy..

BrendaChenowyth

I think you know you'll feel better if you get rid of that stuff.. or you wouldn't be here talking about it.

Maudcat

Yep. Know exactly what you mean.
In early sobriety I put non a beverages in a fancy wine glass because I thought it made the drink special.
I don't do that anymore. I think I just grew out of that phase.
I do keep wine glasses around so my friends can enjoy a glass of wine.
I am not triggered by wine. I found that after I became sober that I didn't really care for wine.
But that's me.
If it pains you to get rid of the gear right now, put it in a bin and store it away.
I bet you will be able to donate it or whatever after more time has passed.
Peace.

tealily

Nikka,

I haven't experienced this myself, maybe because my wine drinking devolved to using juice glasses and plastic cups instead of pretty wine glasses (to hide my drinking). But my suggestion is to "play out the tape" of what you called "the romance of having a glass of wine". In my case, it wouldn't be very romantic or glamorous. "One" would end up being 8, or a whole bottle or more.

I understand that you are grieving the days when it WAS glamorous and not unhealthy. But those days are gone, right? Maybe you can say goodbye to those things more easily if you think of it almost in that way... this was part of my life that became unhealthy. I don't need or want it anymore.

I have a hard time with getting rid of things with sentiment attached (like baby clothes etc.), so I understand! But maybe it would help to realize that the sentiment attached in this case is faulty or negative, rather than a good association.

Have you read the decluttering book by Marie Kondo? I haven't, but I think she has a mantra or question you ask when you give things away. Hold it close and ask, does this spark joy in my life and body? In the case of wine glasses, it should probably be no!

Hang in there!

2ndhandrose

I hope you can turn it around and find empowerment in giving away your drinking accoutrements.

I didn't have a lot to get rid of but when I did get rid of it, I felt somehow stronger and, well, empowered!

It was like getting rid of the last bits and pieces of that crappy relationship, you know, the one that tried to kill me

AnvilheadII

part of addiction is the RITUAL aspect.....regardless of the substance, there is some type of accouterment - from the wine glass, frosted beer mug, rattle of the prescription bottle, pipe of choice.....they are each the Chalice we use at the Alter of Addiction, as we get ready to offer ourselves up, again.

nova84

I can totally relate Nikkabean...I remember being really annoyed in restaurant because they served my red wine in a glass beaker type thing...I realised then that it wasn't just the wine I wanted but the stylish wine glass to go with it. Anyway forward to sobriety and I am uncomfortable faced with wine glasses (even for soft drinks) because of that association. I now have tall, stylish, slender, 'grown up' glasses which I like to use, which I associate with sparkling water, ice and slices of lime...nice and refreshing x

applewakesup

This gave me a good idea. I'm not triggered by wine glasses and often like to drink fancy drinks in them, but I do have too many. I have been making little planting of succulent plants and a couple of different sizes of glasses would be perfect for a small arrangement in a shelf, and so pretty!

silentrun

Toward the end my drinking became very ritualistic. I would stop on the way home from work and get a pint of whiskey. I would get home and do whatever I had to do around the house then at 7pm I would get my special glass and make a whiskey coke. I would then go sit in my chair and proceed to get drunk. I had to get rid of that glass I used.

For some of us it's more than just the act of drinking alcohol.

SimplyFree

I can't tell how many wine glasses and bottle openersI've tossed! Then I would only buy screw tops. Sheeesh!

Dee74

We can miss something or someone even from the most toxic relationships.

Change can involve a lot of fear.

Re-read your latest posts - you're doing great - nothing to be afraid of and nothing of value to miss from your old life

D

Nikkabean326

Thank you all for the wonderful responses to this post. The feeling just took me by surprise and I wasn't sure what to do with it. Tonight, after cleaning up the kitchen, I opened the cabinet where I stored my glasses and stared. I never recognized that there was a ritualistic part of drinking and that it described what I was doing. I'm going to give those glasses away. They were part of my old life. This new me, the one who wakes up in the morning and goes to work blaring awesome jams and dancing in the car is the me that I want to be. Life is better this way - I know this. It's time to start letting go of those physical pieces that surround me.

SimplyFree

Those things come up, and it is an awesome feeling to get past another "tentacle" that would gladly pull you back into the depths of alcohol. Enjoy giving away those glasses and the sweet feeling of relief and freedom!

Outonthetiles

I gave away a box of 12 wineglasses and broke another ten or fifteen wine glasses. I "converted" my old beer glasses to regular drinking glasses (although towards the end of my drinking career I was pretty much drinking out of bottles and cans to save time).

gregknight

I know exactly how you feel, Nikka. I don't actually crave alcoholic drinks as part of my alcoholism. I crave escape, being high, being numb, anything to stop the pain. Drinking, having my Maker's Mark or a glass of Cab with dinner, I do miss. It took me awhile to get past that. To be happy with my usual club soda with lime or ice water with dinner. IMHO, it is better to admit it and confront it rather than averting one's eyes at wine being served others, for example.

Anna

Nikki, I was absolutely caught up in the ritualistic part of drinking. It was as difficult to give up as physically detoxing was.

I am a semi-minimalist and love it. We had two moves in three years and down-sizing and tossing things felt so freeing.