My plan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
My plan
Hi all,
So many times we see people with long-term success talking about making a plan. At first, I was all excited to do it, but I just didn't do it - seemed like it was something to do later. Maybe I was worried I would have to do too much research. Then I decided to make a simple plan that I would amend when I had more time. This allowed me to get something in place and leave it open for a better one later.
So, what's my plan? I've been sober 43 days and a I made this plan at about day 14. Very simple but it has been a help a few times. There are a few things I added later, in italics.
1. Decide first thing every morning if I will drink or not. Should I feel like drinking later, I will have to wait until tomorrow because today is decided already.
2. Bedtime routine: wash my face (didn't always happen when drinking) and moisturize, brush teeth, read until sleepy. This cozy habit is one of my favorite parts of sobriety.
3. Check into SR often, preferably every day. Also, listen to recovery podcasts and read recovery memoirs. Follow recovery instagram accounts. Be inspired by people who are in recovery.
4. Exercise frequently (I am very active so this not something new for me.)
5. Plan activities for early weekend mornings. Enjoy a hangover-free weekend morning!
6. Have mom call Friday late evenings for a quick chat. I've found Friday afternoons are tough for me, but no way will I want to talk to my mom after drinking.
7. Question my anger - is it legitimate, is it helpful, can I do anything about it?
8. Help others whenever I see the opportunity.
9. Keep an open mind!
Anyway, that's my own simple plan. I know it will probably need to be refined over time to help me go farther in recovery, but it's good enough for the next 24 hours and that's all I need to worry about today.
Do others have plans they are willing to share?
So many times we see people with long-term success talking about making a plan. At first, I was all excited to do it, but I just didn't do it - seemed like it was something to do later. Maybe I was worried I would have to do too much research. Then I decided to make a simple plan that I would amend when I had more time. This allowed me to get something in place and leave it open for a better one later.
So, what's my plan? I've been sober 43 days and a I made this plan at about day 14. Very simple but it has been a help a few times. There are a few things I added later, in italics.
1. Decide first thing every morning if I will drink or not. Should I feel like drinking later, I will have to wait until tomorrow because today is decided already.
2. Bedtime routine: wash my face (didn't always happen when drinking) and moisturize, brush teeth, read until sleepy. This cozy habit is one of my favorite parts of sobriety.
3. Check into SR often, preferably every day. Also, listen to recovery podcasts and read recovery memoirs. Follow recovery instagram accounts. Be inspired by people who are in recovery.
4. Exercise frequently (I am very active so this not something new for me.)
5. Plan activities for early weekend mornings. Enjoy a hangover-free weekend morning!
6. Have mom call Friday late evenings for a quick chat. I've found Friday afternoons are tough for me, but no way will I want to talk to my mom after drinking.
7. Question my anger - is it legitimate, is it helpful, can I do anything about it?
8. Help others whenever I see the opportunity.
9. Keep an open mind!
Anyway, that's my own simple plan. I know it will probably need to be refined over time to help me go farther in recovery, but it's good enough for the next 24 hours and that's all I need to worry about today.
Do others have plans they are willing to share?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi again apple! Twice in one day!
Your plan looks great. I especially like questioning anger. I may steal that one. I decided a plan at about 2 months sober. Well I typed one out I had one in my head for a while but I was ready to put it down at that point. Here it is:
ALCOHOL AVOIDANCE MEASURES
Getting to bed sober each night is the non-negotiable part of this plan. Nothing else is more important.
Should my mind wander to any alcohol fantasies I will get straight on to SR and tell on myself - straight away that very second.
Any activities outside my normal routine will be properly planned - holiday, outing, night out, child-free periods etc etc. If necessary run the plan by someone in SR for advice.
Spur of the moment activities to be avoided - I am not spontaneous and feel it is risky for my sobriety (currently)
Log in to SR at least once a day - bare minimum check in to 24 hour thread and read through the day's posts without fail
DIET
Eat at least 2 pieces of fruit per day.
Make my own lunch for work (varied and healthy-ish - anything is better than nipping out to the shop whilst very hungry.
Limit myself to 3 coffees per day - from afternoon herbal tea, squash, water, fruit juice, sparkling water.
No sugary fizzy pop (unless it is a treat when out)
Evening snacks - limit to either cereal, ryvita with cottage cheese or fruit - allow 2 treat nights weekly (otherwise I don't think I'll stick to this)
EXERCISE / WELLBEING
Shower, wash hair, clean teeth, straighten hair, put a little make up on every day (pathetic I know but I can be lazy)
Yoga class every Friday lunchtime without fail
Child free nights (2 x per week) - time for recovery reading, exercise (walking or a p.a.y.g. gym class) - try to achieve 1 per week and allow the other for tv / slobbing
Smoking - I smoke a pack a day and am not ready to address this yet but it is on here as a reminder - my aim is to give up in 2017
Sleep - this is very important so if I really feel like I need a nap I am going to have one - remember to make sure I am not avoiding something and am genuinely tired
GENERAL
Do 1 thing per day which feels like a "mini win" - make that awkward phone call, change the beds, hang washing out before work, fill that form in, do homework with girls - it may be a small thing but they add up.
Try to do 1 thing per day which is kind and caring - even if it just saying hello to an old lady at the shops
Have a recovery book on the go - first book will be "Sober Living"
Call my mum every other night - don't tell little white lies to pretend I am okay if I am not
Journal each day in terms of achievement v this plan - give myself a break if I don't achieve everything but think about why that is. Add a mini gratitude list every day - I find this helps positivity and acceptance
Encourage the girls to do one chore each night - even a tiny one is progress
I can't say I'm achieving 100% of this but I give myself a strong 80% (on a good day lol)
Your plan looks great. I especially like questioning anger. I may steal that one. I decided a plan at about 2 months sober. Well I typed one out I had one in my head for a while but I was ready to put it down at that point. Here it is:
ALCOHOL AVOIDANCE MEASURES
Getting to bed sober each night is the non-negotiable part of this plan. Nothing else is more important.
Should my mind wander to any alcohol fantasies I will get straight on to SR and tell on myself - straight away that very second.
Any activities outside my normal routine will be properly planned - holiday, outing, night out, child-free periods etc etc. If necessary run the plan by someone in SR for advice.
Spur of the moment activities to be avoided - I am not spontaneous and feel it is risky for my sobriety (currently)
Log in to SR at least once a day - bare minimum check in to 24 hour thread and read through the day's posts without fail
DIET
Eat at least 2 pieces of fruit per day.
Make my own lunch for work (varied and healthy-ish - anything is better than nipping out to the shop whilst very hungry.
Limit myself to 3 coffees per day - from afternoon herbal tea, squash, water, fruit juice, sparkling water.
No sugary fizzy pop (unless it is a treat when out)
Evening snacks - limit to either cereal, ryvita with cottage cheese or fruit - allow 2 treat nights weekly (otherwise I don't think I'll stick to this)
EXERCISE / WELLBEING
Shower, wash hair, clean teeth, straighten hair, put a little make up on every day (pathetic I know but I can be lazy)
Yoga class every Friday lunchtime without fail
Child free nights (2 x per week) - time for recovery reading, exercise (walking or a p.a.y.g. gym class) - try to achieve 1 per week and allow the other for tv / slobbing
Smoking - I smoke a pack a day and am not ready to address this yet but it is on here as a reminder - my aim is to give up in 2017
Sleep - this is very important so if I really feel like I need a nap I am going to have one - remember to make sure I am not avoiding something and am genuinely tired
GENERAL
Do 1 thing per day which feels like a "mini win" - make that awkward phone call, change the beds, hang washing out before work, fill that form in, do homework with girls - it may be a small thing but they add up.
Try to do 1 thing per day which is kind and caring - even if it just saying hello to an old lady at the shops
Have a recovery book on the go - first book will be "Sober Living"
Call my mum every other night - don't tell little white lies to pretend I am okay if I am not
Journal each day in terms of achievement v this plan - give myself a break if I don't achieve everything but think about why that is. Add a mini gratitude list every day - I find this helps positivity and acceptance
Encourage the girls to do one chore each night - even a tiny one is progress
I can't say I'm achieving 100% of this but I give myself a strong 80% (on a good day lol)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I misread number one.
It kinda sounded like you meant if I decide to drink today, today is screwed, so I'll start tomorrow.
You might want to tighten that one up a little.
instead of
Make a firm and unassailable commitment to not drinking today.
take the 'maybe' out of it.
Should I feel like drinking later I will use all the tools and support at my disposal to ensure that I will remain sober today and that I will make my morning commitment again tomorrow.
I hope I'm not coming across as pedantic.
Language, and the narrative we set ourselves, is important.D
It kinda sounded like you meant if I decide to drink today, today is screwed, so I'll start tomorrow.
You might want to tighten that one up a little.
instead of
1.Decide first thing every morning if I will drink or not
take the 'maybe' out of it.
Should I feel like drinking later, I will have to wait until tomorrow because today is decided already.
Should I feel like drinking later I will use all the tools and support at my disposal to ensure that I will remain sober today and that I will make my morning commitment again tomorrow.
I hope I'm not coming across as pedantic.
Language, and the narrative we set ourselves, is important.D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I misread number one.
It kinda sounded like you meant if I decide to drink today, today is screwed, so I'll start tomorrow.
You might want to tighten that one up a little.
instead of
Make a firm and unassailable commitment to not drinking today.
take the 'maybe' out of it.
Should I feel like drinking later I will use all the tools and support at my disposal to ensure that I will remain sober today and that I will make my morning commitment again tomorrow.
I hope I'm not coming across as pedantic.
Language, and the narrative we set ourselves, is important.D
It kinda sounded like you meant if I decide to drink today, today is screwed, so I'll start tomorrow.
You might want to tighten that one up a little.
instead of
Make a firm and unassailable commitment to not drinking today.
take the 'maybe' out of it.
Should I feel like drinking later I will use all the tools and support at my disposal to ensure that I will remain sober today and that I will make my morning commitment again tomorrow.
I hope I'm not coming across as pedantic.
Language, and the narrative we set ourselves, is important.D
This was born from a deal that I have made with myself for several years about running/working out. I decide the night before if I will work out. I always want to work out the night before unless I am legitimately ill. In the morning, I can't back out. If I decide in the morning that I don't want to work out, I have to save that for the next day because this morning has already been decided.
Early on in sobriety, I realized that although the night time coach in my head is much more reliable for exercise, the morning coach is vastly superior for decisions about drinking. In the morning, I will always choose sobriety, and having made the decision for the day, I must wait until tomorrow to change my mind.
In both cases - the working out and the drinking, the choice is really an illusion. I am leaving the "choice" up to the reliably heathy decision maker and making the lazy/unreliable coach live with the consequences of that decision.
I give myself this "choice" so that I am not fretting about never being able to have a drink again. In this way, I am catering to the side of myself that does not want to be boxed into any decision.
I will definitely give your suggestion some thought, though and really do appreciate your input.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I give myself this "choice" so that I am not fretting about never being able to have a drink again. In this way, I am catering to the side of myself that does not want to be boxed into any decision.
This is you catering to your AV. You can do better than tentative one day at a time abstinence. It's also much easier to tell that voice never than to give it an opportunity to wear you down day by day. Just sayin'
This is you catering to your AV. You can do better than tentative one day at a time abstinence. It's also much easier to tell that voice never than to give it an opportunity to wear you down day by day. Just sayin'
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Congrats on your days! They're correct about the "never going to drink again". That one was my downfall after coming here for advice/help. I could not say that I was never going to drink again. That led to about 3 more years of drinking,2nd DUI,loss business and personal relationships,ect.. It really is an all or nothing game we're in when trying to get and stay sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
Originally Posted by zenchaser
I give myself this "choice" so that I am not fretting about never being able to have a drink again. In this way, I am catering to the side of myself that does not want to be boxed into any decision.
This is you catering to your AV. You can do better than tentative one day at a time abstinence. It's also much easier to tell that voice never than to give it an opportunity to wear you down day by day. Just sayin'
This is you catering to your AV. You can do better than tentative one day at a time abstinence. It's also much easier to tell that voice never than to give it an opportunity to wear you down day by day. Just sayin'
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
Originally Posted by DontRemember
Congrats on your days! They're correct about the "never going to drink again". That one was my downfall after coming her for advice/help. I could not say that I was never going to drink again. That led to about 3 more years of drinking,2nd DUI,loss business and personal relationships,ect.. It really is an all or nothing game we're in when trying to get and stay sober.
But, I really do value your opinion and appreciate you taking time to post it here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by applewakesup
Do others have plans they are willing to share?
Make my bed every morning.
Write in personal journal or blog daily.
See therapist bi-weekly.
Sign into SR first thing in the morning and before going to bed.
Join SR online meeting once a week.
Regularly post on Things I Did for Myself thread.
Help and encourage SR members regularly.
Learn something new daily regarding recovery via: books, SR, documentaries, internet searches.
If triggered and tempted to drink: H.A.L.T.; Post on SR first; Use breathing methods; Go for a walk; Call a friend; Take a shower; Read
Read from BB
Pray daily
PERSONAL CARE:
Keep up with doctor appointments
Have hair cut every 6 weeks
Take vitamins/meds in AM.
Wear make-up daily
Regular manicures/pedicures
Sleep 8 hrs every night
FITNESS/HEALTH:
Do some form of cardio for a min of 30 min 5-6 days per week.
Give myself permission to take extra time off if sick or injured.
Take a 15-min. walk after dinner 5-6 days per week.
Weigh myself every 2 weeks and record progress.
Reward myself when I meet milestones (weight & recovery goals).
Eat healthy foods daily: Fruit smoothies Mon-Fri; Red meat 1 per month; Majority of dinners to include fish or chicken; Substitute snacks rich in fat/calories w/nuts, protein bars, fruit, Halo IC.; Drink water w/lemon or lime and fruit juice regularly; No non-alcohol drinks.
Cup of tea every night w/healthy snack.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Hi applewu, I get you completely. There is of course a basic recipe to getting and staying sober, but I don't think there's a one size fits all when it gets to the smaller details. If this working for you now, keep at it.
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