Chilledice

I have hid something from you guys due to embarrassment, I have gone into some detail about my anxiety in regards to suffering ptsd, BUT I also have severe complex ocd which over the last two months has turned my life Into a living nightmare. You would not believe the phobias that I have which has just crippled me! I'm not goona go back to booze NO WAY!! That will only worsen it!

I do however feel like I can't enjoy my sobriety, heck I can't even enjoy LIFE at all right now, I even stupidly thought about going without water and just be done with it all, but I ignored the thought and so im holding on.

I have spoken with psychotherapists who say I can get over this,and my friend rang the helpline for me today and she said it can indeed be overcome!

I'm just putting it out there just needed to offload!

P.S I know I've said this before but please no horror stories of anxiety, just successful stories, if you have any!.....very frail right now.

thomas11

You'll get through this. You are much stronger than you think. Try and remain calm and keep your mind occupied. Hang in there man.

DontRemember

I have anxiety brought on by ptsd that I take medication for. I only take half of what the Dr prescribed(because it's habit forming) unless I'm having a very extreme case of anxiety( borderline panic attack), I'll take the other half.

tealily

Chilledice,

I'm so sorry you going through this. So glad you are not drinking, and that you are determined to not start again. It must be incredibly frustrating to be making such good progress on the drinking, only to be slammed by the OCD.

Are you seeing a psychotherapist currently? Have you ever been on medication for OCD before?

Please, don't despair. You CAN get through this.

I'm so glad you reached out. Please be open with your therapist and medical doctor and call someone, reach out, if you ever feel desperate again.

Meanwhile we are always here for you!

Hugs to you.

Chilledice

Thank you so much!

My Dr knows about the ptsd but I was too embarrassed to tell her about the ocd, the psychotherapist I speak to is via phone. Calling Dr tomorrow tho.

I really appreciate you!

ScottFromWI

I dealt with pretty crippling anxiety myself once I got sober. I thought quitting drinking would solve it but it was indeed a separate problem I had to deal with. Therapy can be very helpful and both Anxiety/OCD are very treatable conditions. I've made a lot of headway in that area - and you can too. Especially since you have quit drinking- that's the first step for sure.

Chilledice

I sure hope it is treatable, the weirder the thought the more I freak out!

Well I ain't drinking so giving myself a pat on the back for that lol

tealily

Don't be embarrassed! It's all part of the spectrum of anxiety, and it is treatable, as Scott said.

I tried to dull my anxiety with alcohol, and stopped taking the medication I had been prescribed (because you are not supposed to drink while taking it), and of course it only made my anxiety worse. It was a recipe for disaster.

Now that you've stopped alcohol, there may be a way for your docs to help you with medication and/or with therapy for the OCD. It's not anything to be ashamed of!

I have helped support a family member through OCD struggles. What's interesting to me now, in stopping drinking, is that some of the strategies you use to battle OCD are very applicable to combatting the "alcoholic voice". OCD impulses are often described as a "brain trick". Your brain is falsely telling you you "have" to do something (wash your hands, check a lock). But it's a lie. A brain trick. You tell it to shut up, go away, get lost.. just the way you do the AV when it tells you you can have a drink

Please talk to your therapist and doctor and keep us posted! Cheering you on. You've got this!

Chilledice

Mine is somewhat complicated as in I have ocd WITHOUT the compulsions, it's thoughts about things I can't change, it's too bizzare to evenbe say, lol

tealily

Ah I understand. But that can be helped too! It's still a "brain trick", a distressing thought.
Please do be open with your doctor. There's help!

Chilledice

About 2 months ago a thought popped into my head about time and dates, like I literally can't control time! I can't control the fact that it's 2017 etc and then it moved into even WEIRDER thoughts which is causing me great distress!

P.S im not a control freak

DontRemember

I do that as well..Overthinking things constantly that I have ZERO control of.

Chilledice

You Too? Does it cause you anxiety attacks? Man this is a BIATCH to deal with isn't it!

Berrybean

Have you read the Big Book of AA??

I was convinced I was going crazy, then I read the Big Book and realised that a lot of how I was feeling and thinking was just untreated addiction / alcoholism. It could be worth a read if you haven't already done so. Its free to read online, no need to even buy it. (Oh and I even had a counsellor, referred to by my boss when my brand of crazy got too much to deal with at work, and I lied through omission to the counsellor and to my doctor. Both from fear of what they'd think of me. It really does happen a lot. We're not so good at facing up to the truth.)

Take care.
BB

aasharon90

It's folks that know they have a problem
and don't do anything about it thinking
it gonna solve all by itself.

They remain sick.

No one ever has to go thru or figure
out anything alone or by themselves.

If folks don't say anything that is
bothering them, then how is anyone
suppose to know to help them?

When I got sober I felt like I was
unique. Different from other folks.
I even thought I wasn't a sick as
most with addiction. Sure enough,
I learned and realized that I wasn't
unique and that many folks had be
there done the same similar things
as I and that calmed me down and
settle down into my recovery and
become willing, openminded and
teachable.

It was told to me that I use a program
of recovery to help me remain sober
each day. Then to use our physicians
available to us for to help keep our
mind, bodies, and everything ticking
just right.

If your looking for spiritual help, then
turn to your church, ministers, those
capable of helping us achieve closeness,
understanding of your own Higher Power.

There is sooooo much help available to
each of us for the grabbing to help us
reach that better quality of life we all
deserve to live and enjoy. Reach out
to others just by asking for what you
need and in asking you will be guided
in the direction for answers and help
you are looking for.

No one here is above another because
we are all walking side by side helping
each other with kindness, understanding,
love, care and communication.

DontRemember

It does at times. Drinking made it much worse,like I was trapped in my head with no outside focus on real things. I was on a constant 'loop' of various issues/things/people that I have no control over. AA helps me with this even though I don't go often but, when I feel the 'trapped moment' coming on I try and force myself to do something to take my mind off of it. Whether it's a walk, go to AA for an hour and listen/talk if I feel like it,clean a room in my house,ect.. I just try to do something that I do have control over.

Chilledice

Dude I really thought I was crazy!

Do you errrr get weird thoughts about things you can't control? Like birthdays etc?

Bunny211

I suffered with terrible OCD as a child. It was debilitating so I know where you are coming from. I still have anxiety but I manage it with therapy and medication. Early sobriety was very hard for me with anxiety and I ended up with several panic attacks. I also wanted to end my life because of the anxiety. That was when I decided to seek out a therapist and get on some medication. I feel SO much better. I've learned to cope and the meds take the edge off. I am NOT of the camp that alcoholics should not take psych meds....some of us need them!

Hugs to you! You can do this. I believe in you!

tealily

Excessive, debilitating worry is definitely not that uncommon.
Rumination, excessive worry and "catastrophizing" are some of the terms.. if you look up Generalized Anxiety Disorder and irrational fears you may find some info that helps! Your docs will understand. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You are not alone!

Chilledice

Im so glad that you are doing better! And thank you so much for your words of assurance.

The weirder the thought the more I freak out! Scared they might lock me up etc I've always been a bit quirky but last two months its just gone BOOOOM outta control!