New baby Coming and Want to Change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
New baby Coming and Want to Change
Good Morning,
I drink too much. I have struggled with this most of my adult life, and I spend many Monday mornings depressed about how I lived my life over the weekend. My wife is pregnant with our first child, and I want to be a better person for my wife, my child, and myself. I've always been able to "manage" my drinking to some degree, but then always comes that one night when I over do it, and I spend the next day depressed and disappointed in myself. Yesterday I started drinking on the golf course at noon, and didn't quit until late evening. Nothing horrible happened, my wife took care of me and helped me to bed, but I am ashamed of myself. I grew up watching my father be this way, and I have always swore that I would be different with my own children. I'm hoping to find support here to help me be a better husband and father.
I drink too much. I have struggled with this most of my adult life, and I spend many Monday mornings depressed about how I lived my life over the weekend. My wife is pregnant with our first child, and I want to be a better person for my wife, my child, and myself. I've always been able to "manage" my drinking to some degree, but then always comes that one night when I over do it, and I spend the next day depressed and disappointed in myself. Yesterday I started drinking on the golf course at noon, and didn't quit until late evening. Nothing horrible happened, my wife took care of me and helped me to bed, but I am ashamed of myself. I grew up watching my father be this way, and I have always swore that I would be different with my own children. I'm hoping to find support here to help me be a better husband and father.
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Hi and welcome birddog.
I came here too wanting to live in a way that did not involve waking up with guilt, shame and regret.
I have been sober now for 7 mths, one day at a time, and those feelings are gone.
You will find much support here and a wealth of wisdom and advice on how to get and stay sober.
You don't have to feel miserable anymore.
How wonderful that you are about to become a father and what a great reason to make the change worthwhile. But remember, you are worth it too!
I came here too wanting to live in a way that did not involve waking up with guilt, shame and regret.
I have been sober now for 7 mths, one day at a time, and those feelings are gone.
You will find much support here and a wealth of wisdom and advice on how to get and stay sober.
You don't have to feel miserable anymore.
How wonderful that you are about to become a father and what a great reason to make the change worthwhile. But remember, you are worth it too!
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Hey BirdDog!
I'd say that you have come to the right place.
Trust me... Your life will be so much better without alcohol.
Waking up ashamed , depressed, sick and disappointed is no way to go through life.
You are young.. Have a loving wife.....with a new baby coming.
Sounds like you know it's time to remove the drink.... Life will be so much better.
I'd say that you have come to the right place.
Trust me... Your life will be so much better without alcohol.
Waking up ashamed , depressed, sick and disappointed is no way to go through life.
You are young.. Have a loving wife.....with a new baby coming.
Sounds like you know it's time to remove the drink.... Life will be so much better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Welcome!
Your reasons for getting sober are the same reasons we are all here. Different stories but the sentiment is the same.
This site has been a very valuable instrument in my own sobriety. Make a plan and run with it. Plan as in; Do not drink today and make the effort the most important thing that you do. When tomorrow comes, do the same thing.
Endless rewards with getting sober and living a life that is healthy and productive.
Post often and read around. We are all here for you.
Your reasons for getting sober are the same reasons we are all here. Different stories but the sentiment is the same.
This site has been a very valuable instrument in my own sobriety. Make a plan and run with it. Plan as in; Do not drink today and make the effort the most important thing that you do. When tomorrow comes, do the same thing.
Endless rewards with getting sober and living a life that is healthy and productive.
Post often and read around. We are all here for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
Thanks everyone. I would really like to get to know someone through here to help hold me accountable. I'm not really sure of the in's and out's of this site yet, but I think personally that would do me some good. I am telling myself that when i get home tonight the first thing i am doing is dumping out every drop of booze in my house the second i walk in the door.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hi and welcome!
Best decision and gift you will give yourself and your family.
Read, participate and educate yourself. This site has made a great difference for me. Some people like to start an "Accountability " thread, you might like one.
How's your plan looking?
Best decision and gift you will give yourself and your family.
Read, participate and educate yourself. This site has made a great difference for me. Some people like to start an "Accountability " thread, you might like one.
How's your plan looking?
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Originally Posted by birddog83 
. I am telling myself that when i get home tonight the first thing i am doing is dumping out every drop of booze in my house the second i walk in the door.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
WELCOME!!!!
As a fellow father.... of a new baby, a seven year old, a ten year old and a sixteen year old..... a man who has been a father while drinking and drugging - and a father in sobriety, I want to congratulate you. For both the upcoming baby and for your recognition of the importance of that event and of being a present, aware, capable, whole father.
I'd like to offer a suggestion. Reframe your statement;
"I want to be a better person for my wife, my child, and myself."
Change it to something like this:
"I choose to be the best I can be, for Myself, my life, my fatherhood, my wife and my child. I choose to embrace sobriety in order that I may live fully, deeply, gratefully, joyfully and in present awareness with and for the people I love".
You can do this, and I can promise you from experience you will be glad you did.
As a fellow father.... of a new baby, a seven year old, a ten year old and a sixteen year old..... a man who has been a father while drinking and drugging - and a father in sobriety, I want to congratulate you. For both the upcoming baby and for your recognition of the importance of that event and of being a present, aware, capable, whole father.
I'd like to offer a suggestion. Reframe your statement;
"I want to be a better person for my wife, my child, and myself."
Change it to something like this:
"I choose to be the best I can be, for Myself, my life, my fatherhood, my wife and my child. I choose to embrace sobriety in order that I may live fully, deeply, gratefully, joyfully and in present awareness with and for the people I love".
You can do this, and I can promise you from experience you will be glad you did.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
i appreciate everyone's advice and tips. i've quit drinking more times than i can count, but i always start again. i always convince myself that a couple beers on a friday night is deserved, or having a few with my friends on the golf course wont hurt anyone. then the next thing you know i'm up drinking at 2 am trying to fall back asleep, and waking up depressed and ashamed again. i really want to be different this time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by birddog83
i appreciate everyone's advice and tips. i've quit drinking more times than i can count, but i always start again.
This time, don't quit drinking.
Embrace sobriety instead.
It can make all the difference.
Sure did for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Welcome to the site! Like you, I've quit drinking a lot throughout the years but,never considered the idea of never drinking again. I had 7months sober(the longest I've ever quit) and went out one night last month and got drunk. Luckily I kept it to the one night but, I know that I can't drink...period. I woke up the next morning with nothing but shame,guilt ect..After just one night! That's not normal and it's because I'm not 'normal'. My 'normie' friends who drink don't wake up feeling like that(or at least they don't admit it) but, they don't drink like you and I. Some 'bar friends' including my ex, do feel that shame/guilt,because they're active alcoholics. Glad to have you here!
You are making a wise choice to live a sober life. It's hard at first but it gets better as long as you stay sober. 
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