3 Weeks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 325
3 Weeks
I haven't drunk alcohol for 3 weeks today. I feel ok, better some days than others. I drank heavily for 20 years and over the last year or so have managed to moderate, but still didn't feel like my mind was repairing itself, so I have decided to stop completely. My main issue is the fact that my wife drinks heavily. She is younger than me so she has not suffered any long term consequence yet. But I don't really like being around her after her 3rd or 4th drink and she often stays up very late drinking, sometimes not coming to bed. When she does this I struggle to sleep and she often lies in hungover leaving me to deal with the kids. She knows I don't like it and we have talked about it but she either can't or won't stop doing it. We've been together 7 years and have a 2 year old son. We live in France and if we did ever separate I'd without doubt move back to the UK and really struggle to see my son, which worries me quite a lot. In the past I've used this fear as an excuse to keep drinking thinking we would be more likely to stay together if I drank. Not really sure what the answer is ? I hope that as I am sober for longer my mind will clear and I will see things better. Anyway thank you all for being here, my only sustained periods of sobriety have been while using this site. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Congratulations on your milestone Steve 
For now I think you're only real choice is to stay on the path you've laid down and stay sober.
You may find in a few months your path of action becomes clearer to you, or you may change your ideas on what you need to do, or your wife may even decide to join you in recovery.
For now, just not drinking should be complications enough to focus on.
D
For now I think you're only real choice is to stay on the path you've laid down and stay sober.
You may find in a few months your path of action becomes clearer to you, or you may change your ideas on what you need to do, or your wife may even decide to join you in recovery.
For now, just not drinking should be complications enough to focus on.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Stevepearce....Glad you made it back
here to SR. For many it has become a
lifeline to recovery and a place with so
much wealth in wisdom, understanding,
experiences, strengths and care from
those who have found an effective solution
in achieving success in recovery one
day at a time.
Remember that everyone has had to
begin with a day one. We had to learn
to crawl before we could walk. Same
as it is with learning how to stay sober.
We didn't just magically get sober. We
all had to be taught about addiction and
it affects on our bodies and those around
us. Then we had to learn healthier ways
to live our lives, clearing aways the clutter
in our lives from the past, learning to start
with a clean slate to not repeat old behaviors
that kept us sick in our disease of addiction.
Suggestions are always freely given and
passed on as a way to guide each person
on their journey to build a strong solid
recovery foundation to live our lives upon
as we all move forward and further away
from our addiction.
With willingness, openmindedness, honesty,
and remaining teachable we can help you
and others achieve and experience that
freedom we all want and desire.
One step at a time.
Ask for what you need and apply helpful
suggestions as we guide you along and not
feel alone on your journey in life and recovery.
here to SR. For many it has become a
lifeline to recovery and a place with so
much wealth in wisdom, understanding,
experiences, strengths and care from
those who have found an effective solution
in achieving success in recovery one
day at a time.
Remember that everyone has had to
begin with a day one. We had to learn
to crawl before we could walk. Same
as it is with learning how to stay sober.
We didn't just magically get sober. We
all had to be taught about addiction and
it affects on our bodies and those around
us. Then we had to learn healthier ways
to live our lives, clearing aways the clutter
in our lives from the past, learning to start
with a clean slate to not repeat old behaviors
that kept us sick in our disease of addiction.
Suggestions are always freely given and
passed on as a way to guide each person
on their journey to build a strong solid
recovery foundation to live our lives upon
as we all move forward and further away
from our addiction.
With willingness, openmindedness, honesty,
and remaining teachable we can help you
and others achieve and experience that
freedom we all want and desire.
One step at a time.
Ask for what you need and apply helpful
suggestions as we guide you along and not
feel alone on your journey in life and recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by stevepearce 
I haven't drunk alcohol for 3 weeks today. I feel ok, better some days than others. I drank heavily for 20 years and over the last year or so have managed to moderate, but still didn't feel like my mind was repairing itself, so I have decided to stop completely. My main issue is the fact that my wife drinks heavily. She is younger than me so she has not suffered any long term consequence yet. But I don't really like being around her after her 3rd or 4th drink and she often stays up very late drinking, sometimes not coming to bed. When she does this I struggle to sleep and she often lies in hungover leaving me to deal with the kids. She knows I don't like it and we have talked about it but she either can't or won't stop doing it. We've been together 7 years and have a 2 year old son. We live in France and if we did ever separate I'd without doubt move back to the UK and really struggle to see my son, which worries me quite a lot. In the past I've used this fear as an excuse to keep drinking thinking we would be more likely to stay together if I drank. Not really sure what the answer is ? I hope that as I am sober for longer my mind will clear and I will see things better. Anyway thank you all for being here, my only sustained periods of sobriety have been while using this site.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 295
Keep doing whatever keeps you sober. Once you realize you can't drink safely, there's no going back to the bottle.
No matter how much time passes, we never change back to being able to drink safely again.
A lot of people would avoid relapsing later down the road if they always remembered that. Long periods of sobriety can make people feel like they've conquered alcohol and have control over it. So they drink and end up right back where they were soon.
But that doesn't have to be you. Great job on 3 weeks
...
No matter how much time passes, we never change back to being able to drink safely again.
A lot of people would avoid relapsing later down the road if they always remembered that. Long periods of sobriety can make people feel like they've conquered alcohol and have control over it. So they drink and end up right back where they were soon.
But that doesn't have to be you. Great job on 3 weeks
...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 325
Originally Posted by columbus
"I hope that as I am sober for longer my mind will clear and I will see things better. "
I'm sure will.
Sobering(!) question:
If you were to separate, do you think the children would be safe?
I'm sure will.
Sobering(!) question:
If you were to separate, do you think the children would be safe?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
Stay strong Steve. When we get sober many times we can inspire others to try sobriety too! My prayers are that your wife would join you in sobriety. That being said, you already know it has to be her choice. Stay sober and take great care of your little one. All he knows is he loves you! And she knows she is ill.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
