A notion. Still not sure I should be here..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1
A notion. Still not sure I should be here..
I'm now 30 year's old. I'm an Irish man, so it's age old that I should drink to some extent. Well, I'll just delve into some long-windedness. I joined the Irish military at 20, I had been dating a local girl for 4years at this point. Her parents drank cans every night till they were drunk throughout. Once we were 18 we joined them in the pub once or twice a week, and almost every Friday and Saturday to watch a film. 6-8 cans I would consume. Then I joined the military at 20, as most young people do, i didn't drink Monday to Thursday at this point due to training, I began to drink alot at weekends. So Friday and Saturday would either be sit in and drink till I were drunk or go out and get obliterated. Throughout my military career, lasting 5years, I feel I overdrank at times. Sometimes getika 8pack of Coors pint cans of a Tuesday in the barracks. By Xmas 2010 I was drinking every night for over a month, it cost me my house and relationship at the time. So for 2011 i stopped drinking, i went sober, not intentionally, was just so depressed and aware that I couldn't, was determined not to drink. So I was put on lexapro 20mg a day antidepressants. I managed to leave the military, and got a job in retail. I used the next twelve months to reset, everything, from responsibility to who I was at the core of it all. I decided after a year of that to go cold turkey off the meds which the doctor advised against. But i booked five days off work and just sweated it out. My friend's had since informed me that I just wasn't the same, I was spaced out and distant... Often just being vacant from conversations. My memory is quite good but 2011 not so much. Fast forward a few years and i managed to get a job in finance, which I really couldn't get, only for the military experience favoured me for an internship. I drank rarely and moderately at this time for I started to smoke weed. During this time, say 2014/2015 I was the healthiest, mentally and physically I had been in years. I drank ever other Friday no more than 4 pints. I ate meticulously, wetn to work on time, worked hard and was rewarded with two promotions, went to the gym at lunch and was down from 14stone to 12.5stone. Physically fit and strong, didn't crave drink, but did smoke one to two joints every night. I was so calm, not just when I was smoking, at work, playing sport, in the gym, with my friends. I was in the best place, but didn't have a partner, and had began to really only think of one girl. Xmas 2015 i finally talk to her, we started dating, i got promoted, I am calm and patient and funny, and tell her very quickly that I smoke, and explain about my anxiety and the 24/7 calmness it brings. At this stage drink could be taken or left. After 6months of the happiest I've ever been i have to go to Eastern Europe with work. There is no weed I can locate, and I begin to drink with colleagues, but most often alone in apartment to take edge of the day off. There is no gym, routine falls to **** and the work is quite stressful. In July my girlfriend moves country to elsewhere in Europe leaving Ireland and our jobs. We had previously discussed this and I agreed it was best for her career, and us. I finished up in late august and returned home, while she was now abroad. I got to smoking each night before bed and rarely drinking. The crux here I've since moved over to her, 8months ago. Drank on and off. Sometimes it would be everyday for a week, then nothing for a month. But now, and the reason I post is that I have drank 8x 330mls every night for almost 2weeks, and every night for over a week if that I've tried not to. I see be a man of extreme discipline or extreme chaos. I'm all or nothing, but can't get back to nothing.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome 1986Ireland.
I know you'll find support here, not only to stop drinking but maybe ultimately even throw away that weed crutch as well
D
I know you'll find support here, not only to stop drinking but maybe ultimately even throw away that weed crutch as well
D
Last edited by Dee74; 07-11-2017 at 08:53 PM.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Ire,
So many words all jumbled together. Hard to read and understands sir.
Bottom line is the place can save your life if you let it.
The free information available here saved my life.
Get clean. Stay clean.
Thanks.
So many words all jumbled together. Hard to read and understands sir.
Bottom line is the place can save your life if you let it.
The free information available here saved my life.
Get clean. Stay clean.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 4
The fact that you are so consumed with the counting of the drinks is a telltale sign you have issues
[
QUOTE=1986Ireland;6534397]I'm now 30 year's old. I'm an Irish man, so it's age old that I should drink to some extent. Well, I'll just delve into some long-windedness. I joined the Irish military at 20, I had been dating a local girl for 4years at this point. Her parents drank cans every night till they were drunk throughout. Once we were 18 we joined them in the pub once or twice a week, and almost every Friday and Saturday to watch a film. 6-8 cans I would consume. Then I joined the military at 20, as most young people do, i didn't drink Monday to Thursday at this point due to training, I began to drink alot at weekends. So Friday and Saturday would either be sit in and drink till I were drunk or go out and get obliterated. Throughout my military career, lasting 5years, I feel I overdrank at times. Sometimes getika 8pack of Coors pint cans of a Tuesday in the barracks. By Xmas 2010 I was drinking every night for over a month, it cost me my house and relationship at the time. So for 2011 i stopped drinking, i went sober, not intentionally, was just so depressed and aware that I couldn't, was determined not to drink. So I was put on lexapro 20mg a day antidepressants. I managed to leave the military, and got a job in retail. I used the next twelve months to reset, everything, from responsibility to who I was at the core of it all. I decided after a year of that to go cold turkey off the meds which the doctor advised against. But i booked five days off work and just sweated it out. My friend's had since informed me that I just wasn't the same, I was spaced out and distant... Often just being vacant from conversations. My memory is quite good but 2011 not so much. Fast forward a few years and i managed to get a job in finance, which I really couldn't get, only for the military experience favoured me for an internship. I drank rarely and moderately at this time for I started to smoke weed. During this time, say 2014/2015 I was the healthiest, mentally and physically I had been in years. I drank ever other Friday no more than 4 pints. I ate meticulously, wetn to work on time, worked hard and was rewarded with two promotions, went to the gym at lunch and was down from 14stone to 12.5stone. Physically fit and strong, didn't crave drink, but did smoke one to two joints every night. I was so calm, not just when I was smoking, at work, playing sport, in the gym, with my friends. I was in the best place, but didn't have a partner, and had began to really only think of one girl. Xmas 2015 i finally talk to her, we started dating, i got promoted, I am calm and patient and funny, and tell her very quickly that I smoke, and explain about my anxiety and the 24/7 calmness it brings. At this stage drink could be taken or left. After 6months of the happiest I've ever been i have to go to Eastern Europe with work. There is no weed I can locate, and I begin to drink with colleagues, but most often alone in apartment to take edge of the day off. There is no gym, routine falls to **** and the work is quite stressful. In July my girlfriend moves country to elsewhere in Europe leaving Ireland and our jobs. We had previously discussed this and I agreed it was best for her career, and us. I finished up in late august and returned home, while she was now abroad. I got to smoking each night before bed and rarely drinking. The crux here I've since moved over to her, 8months ago. Drank on and off. Sometimes it would be everyday for a week, then nothing for a month. But now, and the reason I post is that I have drank 8x 330mls every night for almost 2weeks, and every night for over a week if that I've tried not to. I see be a man of extreme discipline or extreme chaos. I'm all or nothing, but can't get back to nothing.[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=1986Ireland;6534397]I'm now 30 year's old. I'm an Irish man, so it's age old that I should drink to some extent. Well, I'll just delve into some long-windedness. I joined the Irish military at 20, I had been dating a local girl for 4years at this point. Her parents drank cans every night till they were drunk throughout. Once we were 18 we joined them in the pub once or twice a week, and almost every Friday and Saturday to watch a film. 6-8 cans I would consume. Then I joined the military at 20, as most young people do, i didn't drink Monday to Thursday at this point due to training, I began to drink alot at weekends. So Friday and Saturday would either be sit in and drink till I were drunk or go out and get obliterated. Throughout my military career, lasting 5years, I feel I overdrank at times. Sometimes getika 8pack of Coors pint cans of a Tuesday in the barracks. By Xmas 2010 I was drinking every night for over a month, it cost me my house and relationship at the time. So for 2011 i stopped drinking, i went sober, not intentionally, was just so depressed and aware that I couldn't, was determined not to drink. So I was put on lexapro 20mg a day antidepressants. I managed to leave the military, and got a job in retail. I used the next twelve months to reset, everything, from responsibility to who I was at the core of it all. I decided after a year of that to go cold turkey off the meds which the doctor advised against. But i booked five days off work and just sweated it out. My friend's had since informed me that I just wasn't the same, I was spaced out and distant... Often just being vacant from conversations. My memory is quite good but 2011 not so much. Fast forward a few years and i managed to get a job in finance, which I really couldn't get, only for the military experience favoured me for an internship. I drank rarely and moderately at this time for I started to smoke weed. During this time, say 2014/2015 I was the healthiest, mentally and physically I had been in years. I drank ever other Friday no more than 4 pints. I ate meticulously, wetn to work on time, worked hard and was rewarded with two promotions, went to the gym at lunch and was down from 14stone to 12.5stone. Physically fit and strong, didn't crave drink, but did smoke one to two joints every night. I was so calm, not just when I was smoking, at work, playing sport, in the gym, with my friends. I was in the best place, but didn't have a partner, and had began to really only think of one girl. Xmas 2015 i finally talk to her, we started dating, i got promoted, I am calm and patient and funny, and tell her very quickly that I smoke, and explain about my anxiety and the 24/7 calmness it brings. At this stage drink could be taken or left. After 6months of the happiest I've ever been i have to go to Eastern Europe with work. There is no weed I can locate, and I begin to drink with colleagues, but most often alone in apartment to take edge of the day off. There is no gym, routine falls to **** and the work is quite stressful. In July my girlfriend moves country to elsewhere in Europe leaving Ireland and our jobs. We had previously discussed this and I agreed it was best for her career, and us. I finished up in late august and returned home, while she was now abroad. I got to smoking each night before bed and rarely drinking. The crux here I've since moved over to her, 8months ago. Drank on and off. Sometimes it would be everyday for a week, then nothing for a month. But now, and the reason I post is that I have drank 8x 330mls every night for almost 2weeks, and every night for over a week if that I've tried not to. I see be a man of extreme discipline or extreme chaos. I'm all or nothing, but can't get back to nothing.[/QUOTE]
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Originally Posted by D122y,
So many words all jumbled together. Hard to read and understands sir.
If we can do our part and try and focus on the message, not the medium, it's all good
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 4
What a work out counting and assuming .
I have the same problem. I can't go to AA and say, hi I am an alcoholic. I can say I drink alcoholically. If I don't drink, I am ok. I don't crave it or sneak it in the morning etc. BUT, once I get started I like to have more. Then my body adjusts and I can drink more and more. But, I don't like the way I FEEL IN THE morning. I bloat. Don't eat right. Don't sleep right. When it comes down to it, I don't like the way it tastes. So why oh why do I drink. I have anxiety issues too. Xanax at night and Zoloft by day. I didn't drink for 18 years, but 2 years ago I started back up. I go off and on like you do. I have had a couple nights I lack recall. This is new. It is all so much work. I feel like the world will pass me by before I get sorted out.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
You're the only guy who can decide whether you should be here.
In your words, though, I think I hear a message that part of you recognizes this isn't the way you want to live your life; that there is another, better way.
If that's the message you'd like to heed, if you would like to be free of the burden of alcohol and drugs, if you'd like to experience life in gratitude and joy.... then this is a good place to be.
Welcome.
In your words, though, I think I hear a message that part of you recognizes this isn't the way you want to live your life; that there is another, better way.
If that's the message you'd like to heed, if you would like to be free of the burden of alcohol and drugs, if you'd like to experience life in gratitude and joy.... then this is a good place to be.
Welcome.
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Welcome to SR Ireland !
I know what you mean...
It's either zero or 100.
But for me.....I just couldn't take the Merry-Go-Round any more.
This forum will help with support.
Look forward to seeing you around!
I know what you mean...
It's either zero or 100.
But for me.....I just couldn't take the Merry-Go-Round any more.
This forum will help with support.
Look forward to seeing you around!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
You don't have to be an alcoholic to quit drinking. No one says you haven't hit bottom so you can't stop smoking cigarettes, right? Same is true with alcohol. If it's not adding value to your life, let it go. No one seems to regret that decision.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 90
Hi Irish,
My advice to you would be not to worry too much about the labels or the varying shades of disruption along the spectrum of 'alcoholism'.
As I see it, if alcohol (and/or drugs - or anything else for that matter) is causing an issue in your life, impacting on your enjoyment of life, functionality, mood, relationships etc. in a negative way, regardless of extent or frequency, this is something that needs to be addressed, and in addressing which you will only stand to benefit.
You are in the right place for support, advice and encouragement. I have found this site to be a hugely positive influence and invaluable tool in my ongoing journey of sobriety.
Keep reading and posting, I'm sure it will help.
Best of luck.
My advice to you would be not to worry too much about the labels or the varying shades of disruption along the spectrum of 'alcoholism'.
As I see it, if alcohol (and/or drugs - or anything else for that matter) is causing an issue in your life, impacting on your enjoyment of life, functionality, mood, relationships etc. in a negative way, regardless of extent or frequency, this is something that needs to be addressed, and in addressing which you will only stand to benefit.
You are in the right place for support, advice and encouragement. I have found this site to be a hugely positive influence and invaluable tool in my ongoing journey of sobriety.
Keep reading and posting, I'm sure it will help.
Best of luck.
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