Is this quacking?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 120
Is this quacking?
I finally built up the courage to make a decision about my marriage. I decided that I would get a divorce. AH hasn't called me since October (I called him in Dec) , and since then we've just sent a few texts. I sent a message asking if he would contest a divorce because I wanted to avoid a long drawn out phone conversation.
He called and asked me not to file right now.....that he's getting things in order and things are looking up and to give him some more time.
-I didn't call you because you said you didn't want to be bothered (I never said that)
-I make enough money now that you don't have to pay any bills
-I still drink beer, but only one or two. I work so much that I can't drink a lot.
-I didn't have a drinking problem, I had a money problem which depressed me so I drank to stay happy.
The more we talked, the angrier I got. He's asking for more time.....I've been waiting for years for him to even have a stable job. He's still asking if I'm seeing anyone, as if I can't be alone.
I woke up this morning feeling tired, weighed down, and angry. I really feel he loves me in some way, but is making one last attempt to keep me around. He's so selfish. He can't give me the life I want, but doesn't want anybody else to have me.
He called and asked me not to file right now.....that he's getting things in order and things are looking up and to give him some more time.
-I didn't call you because you said you didn't want to be bothered (I never said that)
-I make enough money now that you don't have to pay any bills
-I still drink beer, but only one or two. I work so much that I can't drink a lot.
-I didn't have a drinking problem, I had a money problem which depressed me so I drank to stay happy.
The more we talked, the angrier I got. He's asking for more time.....I've been waiting for years for him to even have a stable job. He's still asking if I'm seeing anyone, as if I can't be alone.
I woke up this morning feeling tired, weighed down, and angry. I really feel he loves me in some way, but is making one last attempt to keep me around. He's so selfish. He can't give me the life I want, but doesn't want anybody else to have me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
only ONE person can GIVE you the life that you WANT.....
he is still drinking. he is defending his drinking. he is telling you that his drinking is not a problem.
he didn't call out of LOVE, he called out of SELF preservation.
he is still drinking. he is defending his drinking. he is telling you that his drinking is not a problem.
he didn't call out of LOVE, he called out of SELF preservation.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
BP,
He is a very sick man, why are you expecting "normal" from him?
Please continue with the no contact and build up your strength. You can move forward without him as you have done for the last 6 months. Press mute!!
He is a very sick man, why are you expecting "normal" from him?
Please continue with the no contact and build up your strength. You can move forward without him as you have done for the last 6 months. Press mute!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Originally Posted by BeachPlease 
I finally built up the courage to make a decision about my marriage. I decided that I would get a divorce.
I would continue no contact and get yourself in touch with a lawyer. There is no reason to ask his permission or what his feelings are on it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Time is a terrible thing to waste, yet they think they have all the time in the world. They think we gonna wait for them. Do not listen to what he says, listen to your feelings. Read your final paragraph. That is your answer right there.
He most definitely wants to suck you back in the codependent dance.
He most definitely wants to suck you back in the codependent dance.
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