Hello - new member
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: England
Posts: 92
Hello - new member
Hi everybody,
I just wanted to make a quick post to introduce myself.
I've been a heavy binge drinker since the age of 16. I'm now 30 and regularly black out and have no recollection of events when I drink, even if it just a handful at the pub. The older I have gotten the worse I react to it. 3-4 day hangovers, guilt, shame, no energy, low self esteem etc, yet I continually go back to drinking at every social event or occasion I can.
The longest I've gone without drinking is 2 weeks but I always end up crumbling to social pressure. I find it hard to stay away from drink and then dislike myself for not being stronger and staying away from it.
From observing my behaviour I feel like I'm trying to self-destruct or hold myself back. I'm self employed so being hung over is a killer when I need to be self motivated every day to earn money. I'm starting to get into weight training, but then have bad sessions at the beginning of the week or after drinking because I'm hung over.
It seems simple to just stop, but I don't understand why I can't. It isn't that I wake up and crave a drink, but when I'm offered it or around it I can't say no and have to have it all.
I'm hoping by being on here I can at least start to figure some stuff out and get some understanding of my problem.
I just wanted to make a quick post to introduce myself.
I've been a heavy binge drinker since the age of 16. I'm now 30 and regularly black out and have no recollection of events when I drink, even if it just a handful at the pub. The older I have gotten the worse I react to it. 3-4 day hangovers, guilt, shame, no energy, low self esteem etc, yet I continually go back to drinking at every social event or occasion I can.
The longest I've gone without drinking is 2 weeks but I always end up crumbling to social pressure. I find it hard to stay away from drink and then dislike myself for not being stronger and staying away from it.
From observing my behaviour I feel like I'm trying to self-destruct or hold myself back. I'm self employed so being hung over is a killer when I need to be self motivated every day to earn money. I'm starting to get into weight training, but then have bad sessions at the beginning of the week or after drinking because I'm hung over.
It seems simple to just stop, but I don't understand why I can't. It isn't that I wake up and crave a drink, but when I'm offered it or around it I can't say no and have to have it all.
I'm hoping by being on here I can at least start to figure some stuff out and get some understanding of my problem.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Welcome to SR, Foley; so glad that you found us; so many of us have been where you are.
You will find an abundance of support, understanding and encouragement here.
Have a look around the site, giving special attention to the Stickies at the top of the Newcomer's, Newcomer's Daily Support and Alcoholism forums; there is a wealth of information there.
You will find an abundance of support, understanding and encouragement here.
Have a look around the site, giving special attention to the Stickies at the top of the Newcomer's, Newcomer's Daily Support and Alcoholism forums; there is a wealth of information there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
You may want to look into joining an SR Class.
Here is a link to the most current Class:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
Here is a link to the most current Class:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
You may also want to consider stopping into the 24 Hour Recovery Connection thread to make a daily commitment to sobriety:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-268-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-268-a.html
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by FoleyUK 
It seems simple to just stop, but I don't understand why I can't. It isn't that I wake up and crave a drink, but when I'm offered it or around it I can't say no and have to have it all.
Sobriety is simple. Don't drink. Simple, but not easy. For most of us, it requires massive change to attain and sustain sobriety. Changes to how we deal with life, changes to what we do and changes to where we hang out. A simple change for you to make would be to stop hanging around places where you'll be offered a drink.
Hiding from alcohol isn't a long term solution. But it's often necessary in the beginning in order to acquire enough sober time for our thinking to clear up.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Worcestershire, UK
Posts: 153
Hi and welcome to SR.
Staying sober won't be easy to start with - that's where this site comes into its own with the support the amazing people on here offer to each other. But the more sober hours, days, weeks, months you get under your belt, the easier it becomes.
Alcoholism is progressive, so if you are reflecting on how bad things have got now, you can be 100% certain, that if you do nothing, things will get a whole lot worse.
We're all in it together
Staying sober won't be easy to start with - that's where this site comes into its own with the support the amazing people on here offer to each other. But the more sober hours, days, weeks, months you get under your belt, the easier it becomes.
Alcoholism is progressive, so if you are reflecting on how bad things have got now, you can be 100% certain, that if you do nothing, things will get a whole lot worse.
We're all in it together
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Rupert ID
Posts: 469
Welcome to the board, Foley. You definitely need to stop drinking, given your OP. Not even one drink more. As others have said, it sounds easy but it's more than just not drinking. It's learning to live sober. That takes a plan, lots of work, and time. The best motivation though is that there is a real life for you, a beautiful life, if you do those things. There is only sickness, despair and then death, if you do not. Alcoholism if left untreated, is 100% fatal. But if we can do it, you can do it. Your alcoholism is NOT special. It's just like ours and it can be conquered.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Great to have you with us, Foley.
I knew my drinking was out of control when I was your age - but I did nothing about it. Later in life I found myself drinking every day, with a ruined life. I'm glad you're heeding the warning signs & taking action. Welcome!
I knew my drinking was out of control when I was your age - but I did nothing about it. Later in life I found myself drinking every day, with a ruined life. I'm glad you're heeding the warning signs & taking action. Welcome!
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