All Inclusive Countdown: 2 months sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Morrisville, NC
Posts: 45
All Inclusive Countdown: 2 months sober
We leave Wednesday for Dominican Republic all inclusive resort without children. This will be the first time in 11 years my husband and I have been in this type of getaway. I clearly planned this trip when I was drinking and dreamt of drinking , drinking and more free drinking. Here are some of my AV thoughts that have been creeping in.
Flight layover. We have a 2 hour layover coming home. No kids. God wouldn't a bar visit be magical.
Googling : Anyone sober, drink on vacation, and then return to sobriety. Ugh. Lord help me.
Room will be stocked with alcohol. Beer isn't the same as my beloved wine.
This damn AV is annoying. I've printed out a paper in Spanish that reads "we don't drink alcohol, please remove all alcohol from our fridge and stock with water, sparkling water, juice and diet soda". Also it will be attached to a tip. I've learned how to say "no alcohol" in Spanish. I hope to post here thought my trip on this thread. I know this is going to be my most challenging obstacle thus far.
Flight layover. We have a 2 hour layover coming home. No kids. God wouldn't a bar visit be magical.
Googling : Anyone sober, drink on vacation, and then return to sobriety. Ugh. Lord help me.
Room will be stocked with alcohol. Beer isn't the same as my beloved wine.
This damn AV is annoying. I've printed out a paper in Spanish that reads "we don't drink alcohol, please remove all alcohol from our fridge and stock with water, sparkling water, juice and diet soda". Also it will be attached to a tip. I've learned how to say "no alcohol" in Spanish. I hope to post here thought my trip on this thread. I know this is going to be my most challenging obstacle thus far.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Yep the AV can be quite annoying, but IT can't do anything other than that. You have control of your arms and hands , IT can't sneak a glass past the distance between your eyes and mouth.
Google instead things like parasailing, snorkeling and the five absolute best books for the beach
.
I doubt you needed to be fluent in the lingua franca to book your trip, I'd assume you could contact the resort prior to arrival to have your room set up the way you'd prefer, and even if not I'm sure that can rectify it upon arrival.
'All Inclusive' is really just a marketing and pricing tool, when they find out you are going to saving them money by not consuming their 'free booze' they will be more than happy to accommodate you
The AV is annoying , but like a two year old throwing a tantrum the best way to handle it is to ignore it , not try and reason with it , IT will never buy your argument anyway, but that's ok You Are in charge.
If/when it pops up, tell It to take a hike up the beach and go pound some sand up there, because you're going to stay right there dig your toes in and enjoy your sand .
Google instead things like parasailing, snorkeling and the five absolute best books for the beach
.I doubt you needed to be fluent in the lingua franca to book your trip, I'd assume you could contact the resort prior to arrival to have your room set up the way you'd prefer, and even if not I'm sure that can rectify it upon arrival.
'All Inclusive' is really just a marketing and pricing tool, when they find out you are going to saving them money by not consuming their 'free booze' they will be more than happy to accommodate you
The AV is annoying , but like a two year old throwing a tantrum the best way to handle it is to ignore it , not try and reason with it , IT will never buy your argument anyway, but that's ok You Are in charge.
If/when it pops up, tell It to take a hike up the beach and go pound some sand up there, because you're going to stay right there dig your toes in and enjoy your sand .
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Some part of you is having a romantic notion towards drinking. The other part of you knows that drinking is not an option.
I think you are taking all the right steps here. Perhaps not googling about drinking and then returning to sobriety after is not the best idea. Your mind is taking you into places that you dont need to go.
Why did you quit drinking? What are your goals with abstinence? I do remember you posting that you want to be present for your husband.
Perhaps read some of your previous posts before going on this vacation to keep in mind all the reasons why you have chosen to live a life free of alcohol.
I think you are taking all the right steps here. Perhaps not googling about drinking and then returning to sobriety after is not the best idea. Your mind is taking you into places that you dont need to go.
Why did you quit drinking? What are your goals with abstinence? I do remember you posting that you want to be present for your husband.
Perhaps read some of your previous posts before going on this vacation to keep in mind all the reasons why you have chosen to live a life free of alcohol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Morrisville, NC
Posts: 45
I appreciate the tips. That's why I live SR. yes I want to be close to my husband and he would be really devastated if I drank. I would be devastated to. It's not an option. Just my AV voice. I want to enjoy this time and relax and eat food and swim. I have a feeling it's going to be great. I surprise myself how strong I am. I'm not getting too confident but I would have never saw myself 2 months sober. Ever. I will just keep coming back here if AV starts in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Morrisville, NC
Posts: 45
Also my search results were confirming. I did not find one story of a successful vacation moderation. All were stories of regret and self loathing. I know I'd turn the monster in my head back on. She's a beast.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"Room will be stocked with alcohol.'
pretty simple to request that all alcohol be removed from your room before arrival.
"Googling : Anyone sober, drink on vacation, and then return to sobriety."
."I did not find one story of a successful vacation moderation. "
so, youre already planning on drinking? premeditating it?
". God wouldn't a bar visit be magical. "
so would reading a book, watching planes take off and land,people watching, checking out the rest of the airport........
pretty simple to request that all alcohol be removed from your room before arrival.
"Googling : Anyone sober, drink on vacation, and then return to sobriety."
."I did not find one story of a successful vacation moderation. "
so, youre already planning on drinking? premeditating it?
". God wouldn't a bar visit be magical. "
so would reading a book, watching planes take off and land,people watching, checking out the rest of the airport........
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Morrisville, NC
Posts: 45
I'm new to this sober rodeo so although I know one is not an option I love to spend time reading stories. It made me feel good No one was able to moderate but I was curious if anyone was. I know my body and myself and its not a plan. Just a tragic fantasy. I've already printed my no alcohol sheet and my husband and I have discussed na drinks. But if I'm being honest my AV voice is chiming in. And when it does i feel better talking about it. Thx for the tips. It's appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Yes, talking about it is good.
I do know what it is like to be "new" to recovery. I am still new this time around. My thoughts are different now but I had been struggling with alcohol abuse for a decade.
I remember researching all kinds of things. I remember wanting to drink. I do know the struggle and I do appreciate you being able to put into words what you are going through. You should be able to voice these concerns and these thoughts. Trust in yourself. Trust in the process.
And...keep posting the thoughts. We have all been there and should remember what it was like to think in this way. Its par for the course.
I guess I am saying..... I totally get where you are coming from.
Have an awesome vacation!
I do know what it is like to be "new" to recovery. I am still new this time around. My thoughts are different now but I had been struggling with alcohol abuse for a decade.
I remember researching all kinds of things. I remember wanting to drink. I do know the struggle and I do appreciate you being able to put into words what you are going through. You should be able to voice these concerns and these thoughts. Trust in yourself. Trust in the process.
And...keep posting the thoughts. We have all been there and should remember what it was like to think in this way. Its par for the course.
I guess I am saying..... I totally get where you are coming from.
Have an awesome vacation!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Personally.. and this is my personal thought. Trading one addiction for another (including sobriety) is not healthy. If you think you can handle having a few drinks on vacation... knock yourself out.. but.. if you know you can't then don't do it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by Wifrican 
Personally.. and this is my personal thought. Trading one addiction for another (including sobriety) is not healthy. If you think you can handle having a few drinks on vacation... knock yourself out.. but.. if you know you can't then don't do it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: usa
Posts: 274
I have heard Dominican Republic is beautiful and known for their all inclusives . I went to one in Aruba after having about 100 days sober and started drinking the minute in checked in. Of course the drinking continued for months after. I will admit I didn't even give it a second thought. The Caribbean and booze went hand in hand. I have been on one sober beach vacation since but not an all inclusive. It sounds like you have a plan of action and the will to stay sober. I did not so of course I drank. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 425
I still drank when we went to the Dom. Rep. several years ago. Oddly, though, I didn't drink near what I did at home. You will likely find that there's way too much to see and do to think about it much. If there are excursions offered, definitely take advantage of them. We went on a snorkeling cruise and swam with nurse sharks.
One thing I have learned in sobriety is that alcohol will be pretty much everywhere, but it is up to you to decide whether that glass of wine or whatever is worth the misery that follows. I respect that you have identified trigger situations. That means you are aware, and that's a powerful ally - your awareness.
Have a blast - once you go all-inclusive, you'll be sold. Definitely take some cash - tips are hugely appreciated and it doesn't have to be a big tip. Check with your bank to see if your debit card will work out of the USA; there are usually ATMs at the resorts.
Be safe and have fun !
One thing I have learned in sobriety is that alcohol will be pretty much everywhere, but it is up to you to decide whether that glass of wine or whatever is worth the misery that follows. I respect that you have identified trigger situations. That means you are aware, and that's a powerful ally - your awareness.
Have a blast - once you go all-inclusive, you'll be sold. Definitely take some cash - tips are hugely appreciated and it doesn't have to be a big tip. Check with your bank to see if your debit card will work out of the USA; there are usually ATMs at the resorts.
Be safe and have fun !
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Recently got back from a trip to Italy and it was the best trip of my life because I stayed sober. At times it felt like everyone else wherever I looked was drinking. In my head the concept of holiday/vacation and alcohol were very closely entwined.
It was my first holiday without my children and so I had lots of time to think about drinking, not drinking, AV etc etc. My advice is make sure you have wifi and stay close to SR. I posted every time my AV started picking up speed. It meant I posted quite a lot whilst I was away but it also meant I didn't drink.
Sometimes I felt a bit guilty that whilst my husband was sunbathing, I was in the shade logging onto SR to remind myself about all the reasons I don't drink. Then I remembered that if I started drinking, I'd be mentally and emotionally distant from my husband for hours, maybe days. Much better to take half hour here and there to check in, find the strength to tell my AV to shut up and then get back to having an awesome, sober time.
You sound much more prepared than I was. I'm sure you will be absolutely fine. Better than fine, you will be awesome
It was my first holiday without my children and so I had lots of time to think about drinking, not drinking, AV etc etc. My advice is make sure you have wifi and stay close to SR. I posted every time my AV started picking up speed. It meant I posted quite a lot whilst I was away but it also meant I didn't drink.
Sometimes I felt a bit guilty that whilst my husband was sunbathing, I was in the shade logging onto SR to remind myself about all the reasons I don't drink. Then I remembered that if I started drinking, I'd be mentally and emotionally distant from my husband for hours, maybe days. Much better to take half hour here and there to check in, find the strength to tell my AV to shut up and then get back to having an awesome, sober time.
You sound much more prepared than I was. I'm sure you will be absolutely fine. Better than fine, you will be awesome
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Originally Posted by Wifrican
Personally.. and this is my personal thought. Trading one addiction for another (including sobriety) is not healthy. If you think you can handle having a few drinks on vacation... knock yourself out.. but.. if you know you can't then don't do it.
That's dangerous advice to a drinker like me, because although I've often thought I could, I can't actually handle a few drinks at all.
The last time I went out for 'a few drinks' I didn't stop again for 2 and a half years - 30 months of destructive all day everyday drinking.
I know you're new but please be mindful that 'have a few drinks' isn't really appropriate advice here.
Originally Posted by rule 2
It is inappropriate to promote the use of alcohol or drugs on our addiction recovery forums.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html
Dee
Moderator
SR
Last edited by Dee74; 07-09-2017 at 02:24 AM. Reason: typo
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Have to be honest - I would not have made this trip so early jellybean - but, from this vantage point, I believe it's absolutely possible to stay sober anywhere - if you want it, and put in the effort
these are some of the best tips I know. Hope they help.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Have a good break
D
these are some of the best tips I know. Hope they help.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Have a good break
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Cornwall, England
Posts: 250
Originally Posted by jellybean80
I'm new to this sober rodeo so although I know one is not an option I love to spend time reading stories. It made me feel good No one was able to moderate but I was curious if anyone was. I know my body and myself and its not a plan. Just a tragic fantasy. I've already printed my no alcohol sheet and my husband and I have discussed na drinks. But if I'm being honest my AV voice is chiming in. And when it does i feel better talking about it. Thx for the tips. It's appreciated.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
