bimbott

I met yet another person today (in a work related meeting) who came up to me and greeted me by name. He asked if I remembered him. I lied and said yes. He explained that we used to work together back in the mid 90s.

I have no recollection of this person whatsoever. I didn't recognise him or even his name. Nothing, nada, zip.

It got me thinking how much I have missed over the last 30 years. How many events that should have become good memories never made it into my memory store, or were erased due to drinking. It's not even memories of people passing through my life. I struggle to recall any memories of my children growing up - particularly my eldest son who is 'fully grown up'.

I hope that the memories I make now, sober, will stay with me and I can go on to create some wonderful ones. Does anyone else have any experience of this? Does it get better or is my memory permanently damaged?

thomas11

I have certainly experienced it, and as far as permanent damage, only a medical check would be able to determine. That being said, one of the great things about sobriety is that going forward you'll be the one who remembers and its possible the person on the other end won't remember you because of their own issues. My memory came back pretty good. I couldn't hardly remember my name when I drank, I was horrible that way. I have been sober 21 months (roughly) and my mind is sharper now than it has been in many many years. Congrats on your sober time.

nova84

I know what you mean...there's parts of my wedding party that I have no recollection of...have had to rely on others filling me in and telling me I was having a great time 🙁I'm sure I read somewhere that it's not that we forget what happened when we've been drinking...but that the brain isn't able to work properly and doesnt even register what is happening at the time...sad!

One of my sobriety goals is to create wonderful memories and never miss out on remembering an important occassion ever again 💜

Dee74

I have entire years missing - even stretches of years.

I really got hung up on that for a while, but I found I was missing out on my todays and the memories I should be making there.

To me, now, its just another reminder of how close I came, and how lucky I am today.

D

jellybean80

yes!! It is embarrassing when people will talk about things or events in which I was a part of. My husband was talking about 4th of July last year and I nodded my head. I have no idea what he was talking about. One of the worst things was about 5 years ago I was hung over on a Sunday (shocker) and my doorbell rang with a friend my husband works with with a dish. Apparently I had organized a barbecue while drunk. Humiliating. And I just re watched a movie I had actually saw at the theatres. It was liking watching it new. I had no idea what was gonna happen. Drunk memories. Old memories. It sounds like you are looking forward to a future you can remember. Me too good post!

Gottalife

Most of my childhood is missing, and there are many gaps in my memory of sobriety. I often meet people around AA that know me but who I can't remember meeting. I just accept that I can't do what I did to my body without serious consequences somewhere along the way.

PhoenixJ

Whether my excessive drinking and trauma physically caused by it- be it directly or indirectly...just means now- I adjust with what I have. There are events/people I completely forget. I just have to accept this, ket go and move on.
Does it get any better? My brain is miraculous at healing. 20 months ago- specialists predicted I had Koraskof's..dementia form excessive and irraparable damage to the brain by chronic alcoholism. I do not. There is damage- and the thought of being a human vegetable terrified me. I faced that and accept what is done is done. I cannot predict my future, but with professional support and brain/mind training to rewire- I now use my cognitive abilities far more effectively, damaged than I ever did before- with conditions. My short term recall is shot, so I will not remember someone's name. So I train myself to remember names- by linking it to something which reminds me of it.
Support offered.

courage2

I also have huge amounts of my life missing. When someone says "Do you remember..." I usually just laugh and reply, "I'm sorry, my memory's like a sieve." It's sad because I know there were some special people who I've lost and mostly forgotten, and some things I should have learned from. Also, like PJ, I don't retain new factual learning well, and haven't for years, decades.

Nothing to be done about it, though. I take Vitamin B12 and write everything down LOL.

The good news -- 1) realizing the years I've lost has made me much more attentive to the minutes, hours and days I have left. I want to make this the good part, and not forget it. 2) Some memories from very old days, & good ones, from when I was a kid before the drugs and drinking, have recently begun to pop back up.

One suggestion -- when you experience something that you want to remember, tell people about it. Write about it. Tell it over to yourself before you go to sleep at night. This will help form memories in your brain, and also bring you and other people pleasure.

In some ways, those of us with big mental gaps have a blank slate to draw on. Make something lovely!