Same thread, different day: always stunned at normys and drinking
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 403
Same thread, different day: always stunned at normys and drinking
I don't get it. What is the point of booze if not to get annihilated (therein lies the problem)? Today, I met with 6 high school friends. It's hard to get together for all the reasons you know as adults. Finally pulled it off.
We were part of the popular crowd in HS, drank a lot, and went out every weekend. We made poor decisions, etc. Some of us got our acts together, some, it took a little longer. We vary in education now, as well as socio-economic status, lifestyle.
I will say one thing, though: the friend who was hosting made a light lunch and set out wine, vodka (and mixers, of course), and a beer in a bucket. We met after noon, so nothing strange. The ladies BARELY touched it. I was watching (not judging). I think one person cracked a bottle of wine and her cup stayed on the counter, three-fourths filled for the entire three hours. Another beer had maybe 2 sips taken out of it. No one is a teetotaler (I see their pictures). It just strikes me that 14 months ago, I would have been obsessed with this and I would have had to sip my own that I would bring in my purse because I would have felt stupid to chug the amount I needed to chug in front of people who are perfectly happy meeting without drinking.
I wanted to scream, "what's the point, why are you all so normal, why can't I be like this, why aren't you enjoying this because YOU ARE responsible?"
just another mystery in life.
We were part of the popular crowd in HS, drank a lot, and went out every weekend. We made poor decisions, etc. Some of us got our acts together, some, it took a little longer. We vary in education now, as well as socio-economic status, lifestyle.
I will say one thing, though: the friend who was hosting made a light lunch and set out wine, vodka (and mixers, of course), and a beer in a bucket. We met after noon, so nothing strange. The ladies BARELY touched it. I was watching (not judging). I think one person cracked a bottle of wine and her cup stayed on the counter, three-fourths filled for the entire three hours. Another beer had maybe 2 sips taken out of it. No one is a teetotaler (I see their pictures). It just strikes me that 14 months ago, I would have been obsessed with this and I would have had to sip my own that I would bring in my purse because I would have felt stupid to chug the amount I needed to chug in front of people who are perfectly happy meeting without drinking.
I wanted to scream, "what's the point, why are you all so normal, why can't I be like this, why aren't you enjoying this because YOU ARE responsible?"
just another mystery in life.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
It will always get under my skin, no matter how secure I am in my sobriety.
It just baffles me.. Disabled woman I care for asked me to get her some wine. She took a sip and said it was really good. She put it down. She seemed to forget about it. A couple hours later she wanted coffee and I (sighing) poured the wine down the drain. What a waste.
My best friend gets worked up just telling the story, years later. He was drinking with friends and when the mixers ran out, they stopped drinking. There was still alcohol left. He wanted to drink it. It's alcohol. It's there. Hello????? What is wrong with these people???
It's baffling.
It just baffles me.. Disabled woman I care for asked me to get her some wine. She took a sip and said it was really good. She put it down. She seemed to forget about it. A couple hours later she wanted coffee and I (sighing) poured the wine down the drain. What a waste.
My best friend gets worked up just telling the story, years later. He was drinking with friends and when the mixers ran out, they stopped drinking. There was still alcohol left. He wanted to drink it. It's alcohol. It's there. Hello????? What is wrong with these people???
It's baffling.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
I truly wouldn't think these scenarios sound like normal drinking to me. They sound odd. Really, why open a bottle of wine for two sips? That really is wasteful in an economical, rational sense.
To me, Normal Drinkers have a glass or two of wine throughout an evening and enjoy it and themselves. They are not obsessed with more wine, more wine! Normal Drinkers drink some beers with friends but don't drive drunk to the store to get more. Normal Drinkers may actually drink more than they'd like to once a year and wake up and say, "oh God I'm never drinking again!" And then they truly don't drink for a very long time! And if they do, they remember that horrendous hangover and stop at two.
Normal Drinkers are a lot different than me. I wouldn't stop til it's gone, then I would get more, and if I couldn't walk, I would call and beg a friend to bring me some. I never enjoyed myself. And hangovers were terrible, one long never ending hangover just pushed back ever so slightly with the next drink. Can you imagine a whole crew of us behaving this way, friends interacting with each other, helping, enabling, destroying themselves, each other? None of my friends are Normal Drinkers.
I hang out with my 2 year old son now, just him and me. No alcohol. Thank you God, Jesus, and the Heavens above.
To me, Normal Drinkers have a glass or two of wine throughout an evening and enjoy it and themselves. They are not obsessed with more wine, more wine! Normal Drinkers drink some beers with friends but don't drive drunk to the store to get more. Normal Drinkers may actually drink more than they'd like to once a year and wake up and say, "oh God I'm never drinking again!" And then they truly don't drink for a very long time! And if they do, they remember that horrendous hangover and stop at two.
Normal Drinkers are a lot different than me. I wouldn't stop til it's gone, then I would get more, and if I couldn't walk, I would call and beg a friend to bring me some. I never enjoyed myself. And hangovers were terrible, one long never ending hangover just pushed back ever so slightly with the next drink. Can you imagine a whole crew of us behaving this way, friends interacting with each other, helping, enabling, destroying themselves, each other? None of my friends are Normal Drinkers.
I hang out with my 2 year old son now, just him and me. No alcohol. Thank you God, Jesus, and the Heavens above.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
some people develop nut allergies and they don't know WHY. people have all kinds of sensitivities, allergies, or unusual reactions to certain things that others do not. for the alcoholic, it just happens to be alcohol.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
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This reminds me of a passage from Duff McKagan's autobiography (he is the bass player for Guns N' Roses) - after he sobered up:
When my daughter Grace was in the third grade, she came up to me one day and said,
"Dad, how come you don't drink wine when all of the other grown-ups do?"
"Well, honey, that is a very good question and I am glad you asked. You see, I have an allergic reaction to that stuff. If I were to have just one glass, I would then have to have another. Two glasses would turn into four, and my allergy would make me want to drink all of the stuff that we have in the house. I would then have to go to the grocery store to buy everything that they had there, and I would drink all of that. I would probably start to get really crazy, and I wouldn't be like your dad for a while."
"Oh," she said. "You'd better not have a glass of wine, then!"
When my daughter Grace was in the third grade, she came up to me one day and said,
"Dad, how come you don't drink wine when all of the other grown-ups do?"
"Well, honey, that is a very good question and I am glad you asked. You see, I have an allergic reaction to that stuff. If I were to have just one glass, I would then have to have another. Two glasses would turn into four, and my allergy would make me want to drink all of the stuff that we have in the house. I would then have to go to the grocery store to buy everything that they had there, and I would drink all of that. I would probably start to get really crazy, and I wouldn't be like your dad for a while."
"Oh," she said. "You'd better not have a glass of wine, then!"
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 374
Years ago, in conversation, my sister mentioned something about buying a bottle of wine for the week. It had me baffled. How could ONE bottle of wine be for the whole week....
If only I'd realised at the time how warped my thoughts were...
Pretty sure at the time I thought SHE had the problem.
If only I'd realised at the time how warped my thoughts were...
Pretty sure at the time I thought SHE had the problem.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 101
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
some people develop nut allergies and they don't know WHY. people have all kinds of sensitivities, allergies, or unusual reactions to certain things that others do not. for the alcoholic, it just happens to be alcohol.
It took me awhile to understand what people like Anvilhead meant when they said "no, I'm allergic to alcohol." When you are allergic to peanuts your body's response is to overproduce histamines, your throat swells, and you suffocate (and die without intervention). When you are allergic to alcohol, your body's response is to overproduce neurotransmitters demanding a craving and then slowly poison itself (and you die - it just takes longer).
But yeah, I'm sure you get that. I think I wrote it more for my own affirmation....
Not finishing a drink tho...just wasteful!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
meh.
people are different.
"they" find it just as inconceivable that 'we' can put back half a bottle of vodka and still act as though we've not had a drink at all..... or that we can even think about waking up and having vodka for breakfast..... or that anyone on earth would ever WANT more than three drinks under any circumstance.
Just like I can't understand how some people love to eat raw tomatoes and for me, they make me literally gag.
Just like some people are baffled by my ability to casually pick up a spider while they go involuntarily crazy just seeing one across the room.
We're all different. We're all wired differently. Some of us have brains that taste booze and go wild for more more more.... some of us have brains that fire seretonin but burn it up too fast and leave us deficient and sad.... some of us need glasses.... some of us have colostomy bags.
It's no more worth getting wound up over or spending time concerned with than it is wondering about why or how some people poop in the morning and some poop at night.
Life is too short, too precious and too flat-out awesome to dwell on these things.
people are different.
"they" find it just as inconceivable that 'we' can put back half a bottle of vodka and still act as though we've not had a drink at all..... or that we can even think about waking up and having vodka for breakfast..... or that anyone on earth would ever WANT more than three drinks under any circumstance.
Just like I can't understand how some people love to eat raw tomatoes and for me, they make me literally gag.
Just like some people are baffled by my ability to casually pick up a spider while they go involuntarily crazy just seeing one across the room.
We're all different. We're all wired differently. Some of us have brains that taste booze and go wild for more more more.... some of us have brains that fire seretonin but burn it up too fast and leave us deficient and sad.... some of us need glasses.... some of us have colostomy bags.
It's no more worth getting wound up over or spending time concerned with than it is wondering about why or how some people poop in the morning and some poop at night.
Life is too short, too precious and too flat-out awesome to dwell on these things.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
^ And that's how I have to learn to look at it. It's just the way it is. As much as a type 1 diabetic might hate giving herself insulin shots, she will die without them. It really doesn't matter if other people can eat cookies and ice cream without having a problem. She can't. That's the way I have to see my disease if I want to get better.
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Location: Planet Earth (most days)
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Originally Posted by Purplrks3647
This reminds me of a passage from Duff McKagan's autobiography (he is the bass player for Guns N' Roses) - after he sobered up:
When my daughter Grace was in the third grade, she came up to me one day and said,
"Dad, how come you don't drink wine when all of the other grown-ups do?"
"Well, honey, that is a very good question and I am glad you asked. You see, I have an allergic reaction to that stuff. If I were to have just one glass, I would then have to have another. Two glasses would turn into four, and my allergy would make me want to drink all of the stuff that we have in the house. I would then have to go to the grocery store to buy everything that they had there, and I would drink all of that. I would probably start to get really crazy, and I wouldn't be like your dad for a while."
"Oh," she said. "You'd better not have a glass of wine, then!"
When my daughter Grace was in the third grade, she came up to me one day and said,
"Dad, how come you don't drink wine when all of the other grown-ups do?"
"Well, honey, that is a very good question and I am glad you asked. You see, I have an allergic reaction to that stuff. If I were to have just one glass, I would then have to have another. Two glasses would turn into four, and my allergy would make me want to drink all of the stuff that we have in the house. I would then have to go to the grocery store to buy everything that they had there, and I would drink all of that. I would probably start to get really crazy, and I wouldn't be like your dad for a while."
"Oh," she said. "You'd better not have a glass of wine, then!"
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
ngst,
I identify with what you're saying. It's just a phenomenon we'll never be able to figure out.
I used to think that when I saw others drinking too. Then I realized that kind of thinking wasn't helping my sobriety any. It just created a bunch of negative energy that tried to reopen the door of "hmmmm, if they found a way maybe I can too?".
I'm not saying you're thinking that, it's what my head used to do. So, I came up with a way to combat this. When I overheard people discussing going to happy hour, or was in a situation where people were drinking when I began to feel that negative energy seep in I thought three words. "That's not me". Because it isn't, and it never will be. I accept that now and I refuse to toy with the dragon. I don't say it to myself in a negative way. I say it in a very matter of fact way because it's the truth.
It was hard at first but it's amazing what the power of suggestion and what you tell yourself can accomplish.
Although I agree that the myth is present as to why some can and some can't drink one of the keys for me being happy about being sober is not caring why. It doesn't matter why they don't care whether they can drink or not, it only matters that I know that I can't.
I identify with what you're saying. It's just a phenomenon we'll never be able to figure out.
I used to think that when I saw others drinking too. Then I realized that kind of thinking wasn't helping my sobriety any. It just created a bunch of negative energy that tried to reopen the door of "hmmmm, if they found a way maybe I can too?".
I'm not saying you're thinking that, it's what my head used to do. So, I came up with a way to combat this. When I overheard people discussing going to happy hour, or was in a situation where people were drinking when I began to feel that negative energy seep in I thought three words. "That's not me". Because it isn't, and it never will be. I accept that now and I refuse to toy with the dragon. I don't say it to myself in a negative way. I say it in a very matter of fact way because it's the truth.
It was hard at first but it's amazing what the power of suggestion and what you tell yourself can accomplish.
Although I agree that the myth is present as to why some can and some can't drink one of the keys for me being happy about being sober is not caring why. It doesn't matter why they don't care whether they can drink or not, it only matters that I know that I can't.
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