Buying a new home, closing soon,and I feel mixed up
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Buying a new home, closing soon,and I feel mixed up
Today my lawyer sent me an e-mail that we could close on my new home for the kids and I new week. I knew it would be soon but I felt paniced. I know this is the best next step for me, but it brings up mixed emotions. It will be nice for the kids to have their dad closer (he bought me out of our current home and will move back once we move.) Maybe they will see him more, help more with kids activities- not holding my breathe as our child custody agreement states his visitation with the kids will be when mutually agreed upon (his wishes.) so if I need a break from kids I have to ask for help.
I am scared about owning my home but then remind myself the only thing my RAH is the mowing. I have done everything else myself for the last 18 months, even longer if you count the times years back we were separated and he was at rehab. So I know I can handle it, just still scared I guess.
Posting as I can't share this with those I am close with. They wouldn't understand. I don't share things on FB so many are surprised we are getting a divorce and I am moving.
I am scared about owning my home but then remind myself the only thing my RAH is the mowing. I have done everything else myself for the last 18 months, even longer if you count the times years back we were separated and he was at rehab. So I know I can handle it, just still scared I guess.
Posting as I can't share this with those I am close with. They wouldn't understand. I don't share things on FB so many are surprised we are getting a divorce and I am moving.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You're gonna be just fine. I know how you feel--I felt utterly incompetent the first few times I had a homeowner emergency (and trust me, your house is better than mine--I cannot count the number of homeowner disasters I've had).
Each time I dealt with one, I learned something. You can actually learn a lot about tools and fixing stuff--god bless YouTube. You can WATCH how someone repairs a hole in drywall. You can WATCH how someone changes a light switch. The folks at Lowes are very nice and helpful and will help you get to tools or materials you need. And if you don't feel like tackling it, you ask around (BEFORE you need one) for recommendations for a good handyman.
I went from feeling utterly incompetent to feeling like I can hold my own with almost anything. There is something very empowering about that.
Congrats--I hope your new house feels like home very soon! (I think having kids around helps.
)
Each time I dealt with one, I learned something. You can actually learn a lot about tools and fixing stuff--god bless YouTube. You can WATCH how someone repairs a hole in drywall. You can WATCH how someone changes a light switch. The folks at Lowes are very nice and helpful and will help you get to tools or materials you need. And if you don't feel like tackling it, you ask around (BEFORE you need one) for recommendations for a good handyman.
I went from feeling utterly incompetent to feeling like I can hold my own with almost anything. There is something very empowering about that.
Congrats--I hope your new house feels like home very soon! (I think having kids around helps.
)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Actually not worried about fixing things or household emwrgrncues. I own the tools and toolbox learned a lot volunteering with habitat for humanity and running a residential home.
The idea of packing is overwhelming. So much to do. But again, I did it all years ago when we bought this house. He only helped the day of the move with moving stuff. Only had a toddler then. Now I have 2 kids That can help with some of the small stuff.
Plus not everything is going with me. We still need to sort that stuff
Just one day at a time I keep reminding myself.
learned a lot volunteering with habitat for humanity and running a residential home.The idea of packing is overwhelming. So much to do. But again, I did it all years ago when we bought this house. He only helped the day of the move with moving stuff. Only had a toddler then. Now I have 2 kids That can help with some of the small stuff.
Plus not everything is going with me. We still need to sort that stuff
Just one day at a time I keep reminding myself.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Aw, you'll do GREAT then. LOVE Habitat. What great stuff you guys do! I was just projecting my own initial ineptitude.
I totally agree--the logistics of moving suck. But just keep telling yourself how WORTH IT this will be.
And yeah, put those kiddos to WORK.
I totally agree--the logistics of moving suck. But just keep telling yourself how WORTH IT this will be.
And yeah, put those kiddos to WORK.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Lol...I think that there is something to the "reassurance" of having another person around...even if they are useless...
I remember that may daughter used to have a boyfriend...(a really nice guy) who liked to watch horror movies..but, he wanted to have my daughter there, with him...he would scream and try to hide behind her.....
You will be fine...just break it into smaller pieces....and start packing immediately---putting you toe in the water----- takes away some of the dread, I think...
I remember that may daughter used to have a boyfriend...(a really nice guy) who liked to watch horror movies..but, he wanted to have my daughter there, with him...he would scream and try to hide behind her.....
You will be fine...just break it into smaller pieces....and start packing immediately---putting you toe in the water----- takes away some of the dread, I think...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Packing and moving is hard!
We moved to another state 3 years ago.
I'm still traumatized!
Not really, but it is all pretty dreadful.
Take heart in the fact that somehow it all gets done.
I drove with two cats, one of whom is a screamer, from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts in a driving rain.
But we made it, moved in, and all was well.
It'll be great, you'll see.
We moved to another state 3 years ago.
I'm still traumatized!
Not really, but it is all pretty dreadful.
Take heart in the fact that somehow it all gets done.
I drove with two cats, one of whom is a screamer, from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts in a driving rain.
But we made it, moved in, and all was well.
It'll be great, you'll see.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Congratulations on getting your own. home. Nothing has to be done overnight. Try to contain the boxes to one area of the. home and make one room, or two, livable. Just chip away.
Are you already packed? If not, why not just pack a carton or two of essentials: just the things that will keep you functioning over the next days or weeks. It's always amazing to me how little we truly need on a day-to-day basis. I lived in a hotel for 3 months once with 2 kids. It was a moment's notice thing, and so I just grabbed one suitcase and planned on getting the rest of my stuff at a later time and I never went for the rest. I lived with the contents of that one suitcase for me and my 6 & 7 year old for 3 months, and never missed a thing.
You'll be fine!
Are you already packed? If not, why not just pack a carton or two of essentials: just the things that will keep you functioning over the next days or weeks. It's always amazing to me how little we truly need on a day-to-day basis. I lived in a hotel for 3 months once with 2 kids. It was a moment's notice thing, and so I just grabbed one suitcase and planned on getting the rest of my stuff at a later time and I never went for the rest. I lived with the contents of that one suitcase for me and my 6 & 7 year old for 3 months, and never missed a thing.
You'll be fine!
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
You really will be fine! I found for myself that it was actually less work w/out my XAH b/c he created work for me, and did nothing.
I got myself a handyman in case something happens that I cannot handle, I have a mower man who takes care of my yard, but that is completely optional. I also purchased a home warranty. You will be amazed the things you can find directions for on YouTube.
Those are the only extra things I did. You will do great!!!
I got myself a handyman in case something happens that I cannot handle, I have a mower man who takes care of my yard, but that is completely optional. I also purchased a home warranty. You will be amazed the things you can find directions for on YouTube.
Those are the only extra things I did. You will do great!!!
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