Jenni37

Hi there,
Today is day 29 sober for me. I'm at the point where I'm starting to let my friends know that I'm no longer drinking alcohol... at all. Anyone else have experience with this and how people reacted? Im going to be going on a "girls " in a couple of days and I have started the conversation's about me not drinking on this trip so everyone will be aware of my plan and be on board. So far, it's all gone great. I'm just anticipating that moment when they suggest that "I should have one". I have a very solid plan in place for myself. Just curious if anyone has some advice or recommendations about this conversation with friends? Thanks in advance.

NoahJ

My friends and family were universally supportive, which was great.

My friends I let know via text. I usually end up texting with a different friend every week or 2, and have been letting them know slowly. I let my mom know in person (so she could see all right - she's a worrier).

I haven't really been "tested" yet. But I anticipate bro-coding my buddies about it.

MyRecoveredLife

My "true" friends were very supportive of my decision to stop drinking. My "drinking buddies" disappeared from my life in relatively short order! It may seem harsh, but it was really for the best.

Anna

I didn't say anything to family/friends. I had made promises in the past, so finally I decided to just do it. Also, I felt very vulnerable and I didn't want any comments that would upset me in any way. Honestly, I would not have been able to be away with people who were drinking at the one month point. But, I'm glad you have a solid plan in place.

MidnightRider

Congrats on Day 29!

Stay strong and make sure you have that exit plan ... Should the temptation arise.

My advice is to keep the talk about "not drinking or quitting" to a minimum. Just go and have fun.. Order the Ginger Ale (on the rocks) and keep 'em coming. I find having a drink in my hand all the time ... is both a benefit (stay hydrated) and also curbed others from "buying me a drink".

Nikkabean326

I'm a little over two months sober and so far, no one has mentioned me having a drink after I tell them I've quit drinking because I have a problem. Honestly? If someone did suggest that to me I would have to seriously consider the state of our friendship.

Stick to your plan and if someone says something, then take them aside at some point and really have a one on one to them and explain it to them.

BrendaChenowyth

Personally.. I would skip the Girls' night/weekender, whatever it is. They don't need to be "on board" with your choice, if non-alcoholics want to kick back and drink, they can do that, and I wouldn't want to be a wet blanket so here's how that would probably go..

We're all chilling, doing whatever, and one person says would it be okay with you if I have a drink. I say sure because if my friend wants to have a drink, why shouldn't they? But they don't want to drink alone because to normal drinkers that's awkward, so now several people are just gonna have one. Even a normal drinker, once they have one, figure why not have another one. They may not go overboard like we do, but nobody just has one when it's a party vibe, so pretty soon at least half the group is buzzed and acting silly.

That is where you pretty much say **** it and join them. Only difference is, you're the only one puking in the tub by midnight. Or the only one with a massive hangover when everyone else hops up and goes to do something fun in the morning. And you have to worry about did you say something or do something embarrassing last night, you can't remember.

I'm just painting a picture of what "best laid plans" generally turn in to for us!

BrendaChenowyth

It could very well not go down like that, but I would not even want to risk it in these early days. I'll need a lot more time before I can feel secure enough to go on a fun weekend with friends.

I'm trying to think of my girl friends that generally do not drink.. but even they might have the odd margarita and then I'd really want one, to be honest. I'm very vulnerable right now.

applewakesup

My experience is that no one is trying to push alcohol on me like some sort of afterschool special. I go along and I really don't care if they drink. I'm happy to be a safe ride home for them.

However, if you aren't comfortable around others drinking, you probably shouldn't go. All of my friends and my family drink so I know I will always be around it.

Dee74

At one month I wouldn't go.

Being around my old drinking friends, in a environment thats geared to drinking wouldn't have been a safe place for me.

I needed to put clear space between who I had been and who I wanted to become., I needed a little time to build up some 'sober muscles'.

I needed to get to a point where I not only didn't want to drink but I preferred not drinking.

That takes time and it's in direct relation to the sober life you start to build.

I missed a few parties, but the time I spent on those developing those sober muscles is still paying off these many years later

If you're bound and determined tho, these are probably the best tips you'll find:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

D