hez1979

I stopped for 21 days then drank heavily for 7.... what will it take for me to stop. I hate myself

MidnightRider

Please don't hate yourself..
The 21 days you stayed sober is proof you can stop.

Get back on the sober horse and ride!

asixstringnut

hez1979
Great job on the 21 days. I agree don't hate yourself. I have had so many day ones I lost track. Just keep on trying.

thomas11

Try to focus on those 21 alcohol free days and repeat that behavior. Maybe try to analyze what went wrong for those 7 days and learn something from it? Don't hate yourself.

hez1979

Thanks your replies mean a lot... I've people who depend on me I can't continue this self destructive behaviour

PurpleKnight

You don't go 21 days without putting a few tools in the Sober toolbox, we can't change the past but we can write a new chapter to our future!!

Tweak your plan, go at things again and you'll get there!!

LastingChange

It is so incredibly frustrating and despairing when relapses like this occur and make you feel like you're destined to repeat the cycle forever.

Personally, I found that hating myself and spending all of my energy focusing on the regret and shame and self loathing actually drove me to continue the cycle, rather than deter me from it.

I've been trying to work on making peace with my past transgressions, and focus on the future and allowing myself to feel that I deserve to feel better and not to punish myself by repeating my drinking behaviours, and this is really working for me. It is tough, and at times I feel pangs of guilt and shame for my past behaviour, but I just tell myself that I have to let go of those feelings and focus on preventing myself continuing along that trajectory.

I hope you can begin to forgive yourself, too, and allow yourself the opportunity to move forward.

All the best.

Dee74

Hi Hez - maybe you need to look at your reovery plan - do you need more support? Do you need to use the support you have more effectively?

Are there things in your life that tend to push you towards drinking? How can you change them?

D

january161992

how are you today hez1979 ?

Dee74

Some really good introductory Ideas on plans here Hez:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

D