Velocity

Was doing okay. Then I was so BORED and angry and I ended up drinking. I thought Id drink. enough to satisfy the craving, turns out that craving has no end. Hey anyone out there have a routine EVERY night? by that I mean a routine of watching youtube or the same movie or whatever. Ugh I overestimated this once again

myluckyday

Definitely night time was my trigger time. My first few weeks, I just went to bed early. If I'm sleeping, I'm not craving. It was just a few weeks and got me over that first hump. Best of luck to you!

Velocity

my trigger feels like 5pm after, i feel so nervous/irritated. Thanks for the reply!

myluckyday

That was mine too. I just resolved that I wasn't going to drink and then after dinner I would have a whole bedtime routine of tidying up the house, showering, picking out my clothes for the next day, brushing teeth, etc. Then going to bed sober was a really good feeling. I would fall asleep quickly enough.

Velocity

My nightly routine currently is get home from work between530-6pm then think about dinner coupled with obsess with If I have enough alcohol to get me drunk or whether Id have enough to accomplish that. I TRY to think of distractions or extra tasks but I swear everything I think of doing besides finding alcohol makes me so angry and depressed. For example its 6pm store closes soon, I could go mow my lawn but that sounds so depressing compared to drinking. My mind cant get away from comparing

Berrybean

You say you tried. Maybe you could tell folk here what you tried so far (apart from the not drinking bit) so we don't suggest things you already have sussed and in place. Did you try getting to AA meetings and mountain biking like you said you might? (...As far as a plan or program goes, at this moment its basically to NOT drink and log onto here as much as possible that alone gives me some type of accountability. I might try looking into AA in my area though I think the one I saw conducts meetings once or twice a month so I probably can't do the 90 in 90 like others have done. I also really like mountain biking and have of course have been set back due to my alcoholism so I know now i'll be doing that even more...)

If not, no need to beat yourself up. But I would suggest that a good dollop of acceptance wouldn't go amiss just now. Acceptance that your next attempt might need to include more action taking than your past ones did. After all, a plan is only as much good as the actions we take from it. Just like a gym membership itself doesn't get anyone fit without them turning up and doing the work. If nothing changes nothing changes. Also a good dollop of acceptance that the early days of recovery are likely to be uncomfortable but they are do-able. The instant gratification of drinking to relieve ourself of boredom or uncomfortable feeling is really a trap that will keep us from long term comfortable and sustainable recovery. And yes, it will help to make some plans for things to do in the evenings. Why not have a re-read of Dees thread about making a plan and make a list of some recovery related things that might be good time fillers. Note, I didn't say 'fun'. You know, most alcoholics in early stages of sobriety wouldn't recognise Fun if it held them hostage. When I got all whiney and started saying things like "I'm bored", or " I never get to have any fun", or even "it's not fair" it tended to really mean "I want a drink". Or more accurately, that's what my AV wanted! Once i started recognising that AV (addict voice) playing out in my head then I got better at not following those impulses like a puppet on a string. I remember asking how I could recognise that voice amongst all the other thoughts in my washing machine head and was told "It's the one telling you the answer to any question, asked or not, is to have a drink." Its alsi quute melodramatic and makes suggestions that seem amazingly plausable at the time but are actually insanity at its best. Things like, you'll never have fun ever again, might as well drink.... You're going to die lonely and alone anyway, might as well drink.... No one likes you anyway, you might as well drink. None of those other people went through boredom like THIS, go on, have a drink.... You're not really a proper alcoholic, you could just have one....

Once you start recognising that AV in action you'll probably even get a few giggles out of some of the duff old lines it tries to feed you. I know I did.

You can do this, but not if you're unwilling to sit with a few uncomfortable feelings to get through those first tough weeks.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

August252015

What BB said. (Very eloquent, btw!)

You don't have to do it alone, white knuckle it, try like h*ll to make it through the night alone.....

aasharon90

Folks can't drink alcohol or use drugs
at night or day or anytime if it isn't in
the house, yard, garage, shed, anywhere
on the premises.

The only way to get your drug of choice
would be to drive to it, walk to it, ride to
it. By the time you make that decision,
choice, you have good enough time to
use healthier, more effective ways to deal
with your addiction.

A program of recovery learned and incorporated
in all areas of your life. A program that will teach
you how to pray, calm down, eat, sleep, deal with
anger issues, resentments, cravings, emotions,
family, work, exercises....I can go on forever, but
hopefully you get the idea.

There are many of us that have found recovery
success after long periods of addiction and in
time, meaning one day at a time not drinking
or using and incorporating some sort of program,
some sort of effective routine on a daily bases.

None of us have had to go thru learning
how to succeed in learning how to remain
sober or clean alone or by ourselves.

You don't have to. Never have to.

Find someone or a group of folks that
will guide you in learning about your
addiction, why and how it affects your
own mind body and soul, and teach you
healthier, effective ways to avoid relapsing,
slipping, returning to the insanity of living
with your addiction. To put it to rest once
and for all.

To help you build a strong, solid recovery
foundation to draw upon each and everyday
you remain sober or clean.

SR is an absolute good place to start
receiving some good solid suggestions,
guidance in achieving what you need
to begin living a healthy, honest sober
life ahead of you.

thomas11

Boredom is the enemy. To be avoided at all costs. Early on I did anything and everything to keep my mind occupied. I would watch a show or read an article that I cared nothing about, but it kept me from picking up.

Mizzuno

Yes, I do have a routine. I am so adjusted to it that If I skip a step I feel off.

Here it goes:

Wake up, coffee and gym
Go to work
Get off work and eat dinner
Take a bath or wash my face to remove the day (its actually a very important step for me as I want to wash the energy of my workday away)
Log onto SR and post/ read offer support and receive support
Watch part of a series on Netflix or Hulu
Go lay down in bed and read until sleep

The weekends involve chores around the house and relaxing time but the routine still applies.

Its quite wholesome and satisfying. Structured time is very important to me. I have a plethora of different beverages that I drink throughout my nights.....mainly mineral water or water/ juice.

You can do this!

Dee74

I don't have a routine but I do have a plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Boredom and anger are not good enough excuses to do something you know is not good for you.

Think about other healthier ways you could deal with both - and think about what you could do to reach out for help to stop yourself if it happens again.

You can do this - regather regroup and draw up a plan

D

Velocity

thanks all


Drinking seems like second nature so I drank again ugh. Ill give more detaol tomorrow

Nonsensical

For several decades I knew I had a drinking problem. During that time I decided many times that drinking was bad for me and I needed to stop. I would wake up full of conviction to give up drinking, often dumping all the alcohol in the house down the sink.

That night I'd go to sleep expecting to wake up and never think about drinking again. I guess I thought God was going to miracle my butt free of the obsession. I mean...I KNEW drinking was ruining my life, so that should be enough to never FEEL like drinking again, right?

Wrong.

Turns out it doesn't work that way at all.

You're going to feel like drinking again. What's your PLAN for when you do?

Velocity

Thanks for all the replies,

From what I'm reading, I think I jumped into this a little too quickly again. The last time I quit, it didn't seem hard so this time I really had no plan of action, just "don't drink" rinse and repeat.

I'm going to try and write down a plan for starters. The very first time I quit, I kept a list of things to do on my fridge and alongside that I'd write one or 2 things I was grateful for everytime I wanted to drink.

Last weekend when I did drink I got so angry with everything that it felt like I wasn't meant to feel anything and that all my life was, was a bore. I get that is the AV thinking but I swear the AV knows how to talk to me.

Anyhow here I am, thanks for all the replies and wish me luck as I start along the path again.

V