Update - court may be coming
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Update - court may be coming
Hi everyone,
Just an update - got a message from my lawyer that ex has found a new lawyer (fired the other one) and they have filed an application and affidavit for something related to Kid's custody in the relevant court. My lawyer doesn't know what their application is for. I am still seeking sole custody of Kid. My lawyer also forwarded me a long document which he received from ex in which ex says basically that he refuses the idea of sole custody, and then goes on for many thousand words to talk about his grievances against me, his second ex-wife, Kid's teachers, his current girlfriend's parents, and the world in general. It's a wild overshare with no sense of accountability or responsibility for the things he's done which have landed him in this position, and 99% is irrelevant to the question of Kid's parenting.
So I am having many different emotions - if we can finally get into court, that will be a good thing. I still believe my case is strong. However, if ex is ramping up the crazy (the letter he sent my lawyer had all the hallmarks of a drunken rant) I could be in for a rough few weeks or months. And this is happening on Kid's birthday - nice timing there. If he's got a new lawyer and is not self-representing, I don't know what that means. Could be good or bad.
I will keep updating, because it's helpful for me to write this out. Any comments, thoughts, insight etc are very welcome.
Just an update - got a message from my lawyer that ex has found a new lawyer (fired the other one) and they have filed an application and affidavit for something related to Kid's custody in the relevant court. My lawyer doesn't know what their application is for. I am still seeking sole custody of Kid. My lawyer also forwarded me a long document which he received from ex in which ex says basically that he refuses the idea of sole custody, and then goes on for many thousand words to talk about his grievances against me, his second ex-wife, Kid's teachers, his current girlfriend's parents, and the world in general. It's a wild overshare with no sense of accountability or responsibility for the things he's done which have landed him in this position, and 99% is irrelevant to the question of Kid's parenting.
So I am having many different emotions - if we can finally get into court, that will be a good thing. I still believe my case is strong. However, if ex is ramping up the crazy (the letter he sent my lawyer had all the hallmarks of a drunken rant) I could be in for a rough few weeks or months. And this is happening on Kid's birthday - nice timing there. If he's got a new lawyer and is not self-representing, I don't know what that means. Could be good or bad.
I will keep updating, because it's helpful for me to write this out. Any comments, thoughts, insight etc are very welcome.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think the more "crazy" he puts down in writing, the better.
Ultimately I think his having a lawyer will be less stressful for you (and for your lawyer)--less time wasted, less you will have to pay in fees.
Hang in there, and don't worry too much about the birthday. The fact that you will be in court that day won't make any difference.
Ultimately I think his having a lawyer will be less stressful for you (and for your lawyer)--less time wasted, less you will have to pay in fees.
Hang in there, and don't worry too much about the birthday. The fact that you will be in court that day won't make any difference.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
Originally Posted by Sasha1972 
Hi everyone,
Just an update - got a message from my lawyer that ex has found a new lawyer (fired the other one) and they have filed an application and affidavit for something related to Kid's custody in the relevant court. My lawyer doesn't know what their application is for. I am still seeking sole custody of Kid. My lawyer also forwarded me a long document which he received from ex in which ex says basically that he refuses the idea of sole custody, and then goes on for many thousand words to talk about his grievances against me, his second ex-wife, Kid's teachers, his current girlfriend's parents, and the world in general. It's a wild overshare with no sense of accountability or responsibility for the things he's done which have landed him in this position, and 99% is irrelevant to the question of Kid's parenting.
So I am having many different emotions - if we can finally get into court, that will be a good thing. I still believe my case is strong. However, if ex is ramping up the crazy (the letter he sent my lawyer had all the hallmarks of a drunken rant) I could be in for a rough few weeks or months. And this is happening on Kid's birthday - nice timing there. If he's got a new lawyer and is not self-representing, I don't know what that means. Could be good or bad.
I will keep updating, because it's helpful for me to write this out. Any comments, thoughts, insight etc are very welcome.
Just an update - got a message from my lawyer that ex has found a new lawyer (fired the other one) and they have filed an application and affidavit for something related to Kid's custody in the relevant court. My lawyer doesn't know what their application is for. I am still seeking sole custody of Kid. My lawyer also forwarded me a long document which he received from ex in which ex says basically that he refuses the idea of sole custody, and then goes on for many thousand words to talk about his grievances against me, his second ex-wife, Kid's teachers, his current girlfriend's parents, and the world in general. It's a wild overshare with no sense of accountability or responsibility for the things he's done which have landed him in this position, and 99% is irrelevant to the question of Kid's parenting.
So I am having many different emotions - if we can finally get into court, that will be a good thing. I still believe my case is strong. However, if ex is ramping up the crazy (the letter he sent my lawyer had all the hallmarks of a drunken rant) I could be in for a rough few weeks or months. And this is happening on Kid's birthday - nice timing there. If he's got a new lawyer and is not self-representing, I don't know what that means. Could be good or bad.
I will keep updating, because it's helpful for me to write this out. Any comments, thoughts, insight etc are very welcome.
When I threw my ex out , I had to legally evict her. You can't simply ask them to leave and not have some legal issues. So I verbally told her I was going to serve her, so that I could legally proceed if she refused.
So I did. Not like it was a surprise.
She wrote the attorney a 6 page dossier about the un-justness of it all. He did not respond. He simply told me about it.
Then she hired an attorney and claimed common law marriage rules applied. Fine and dandy. Lets go to court. We did not respond to her or her attorney by any correspondence.
Keep in mind she still is living in my house during this. Sees me everyday she comes home.
So after a week of no response she writes another 10 page letter to my attorney, copying in hers. How I was off base, she had rights, she wasn't going to be taken down like this....blah blah blah...it was truly sad to read it.
My attorney wrote her attorney and copied me in. See you in court. 4 words in an email.
I went to his office and asked should I be worried? He actually laughed and said. I won't bill you if I don't have to read them. I said...Boy better she be mad at you than yelling at me.
He said I know her attorney....he isn't thrilled about her either. But he takes her money anyway.
She had been looking for a house all along. Moved out 2 weeks later without uttering a word. Moved in with her new boyfriend. The whole she's there loading the truck, she's threatening to sue me for a list of reasons while shes loading up the truck with her boyfriend helping her. Heck I even helped him pick up up a few pieces of furniture to speed things along.
Nobody ever heard a thing from her after that.
Its like....why all the letter writing? Why be angry at everyone that has nothing to do with any of it? If she was going to move out anyway....why waste everyone's energy and time.
I'm sorry you're going through this. But I wouldn't get too worried over it.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
*Wild Overshare.....i like that! i may borrow it - liberally!
hang in there, stay the course, while he weebles and wobbles all over the damn place!
*Heck I even helped him pick up up a few pieces of furniture to speed things along.
god, i love this place!!!
hang in there, stay the course, while he weebles and wobbles all over the damn place!
*Heck I even helped him pick up up a few pieces of furniture to speed things along.
god, i love this place!!!
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
So my lawyer just forwarded me correspondence from ex's lawyer, consisting of an application to have the court order a return to week-on/week-off residence for Kid. It is the weirdest thing I have seen in a while.
It says essentially "I want 50/50 with Kid because even though the police had to remove me from her daycare when I showed up drunk last month, I'm going to AA now and I'm not going to drink and Mom is being a b!tch by not letting me see Kid as much as I want. And besides it wasn't my fault, I had a panic attack that day because my second ex-wife stresses me out so I had to drink. And now let me tell you all about what a b!tch my second ex-wife is, even though it has nothing to do with parenting".
It makes no sense, and certainly doesn't make the case that he should have Kid with him half the time - what judge on earth would think "Gosh, he's right, this whole past year of drunken binges, relapses, psych hospitalizations and police interventions should be overlooked because he says he's going to AA and he really means it this time, unlike all the other times"? I can't believe an actual lawyer signed off on this.
(Oh yes, the AA group he's going to is a very special one, "by invitation only", because it consists of "men with high public profiles").
It says essentially "I want 50/50 with Kid because even though the police had to remove me from her daycare when I showed up drunk last month, I'm going to AA now and I'm not going to drink and Mom is being a b!tch by not letting me see Kid as much as I want. And besides it wasn't my fault, I had a panic attack that day because my second ex-wife stresses me out so I had to drink. And now let me tell you all about what a b!tch my second ex-wife is, even though it has nothing to do with parenting".
It makes no sense, and certainly doesn't make the case that he should have Kid with him half the time - what judge on earth would think "Gosh, he's right, this whole past year of drunken binges, relapses, psych hospitalizations and police interventions should be overlooked because he says he's going to AA and he really means it this time, unlike all the other times"? I can't believe an actual lawyer signed off on this.
(Oh yes, the AA group he's going to is a very special one, "by invitation only", because it consists of "men with high public profiles").
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Big fat legal quack.
Hey, don't blame the lawyer. You work with what you've got. And lawyer has an idiot for a client.
I have a feeling your lawyer will be quite capable of putting this request into perspective.
Hey, don't blame the lawyer. You work with what you've got. And lawyer has an idiot for a client.
I have a feeling your lawyer will be quite capable of putting this request into perspective.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
(Oh yes, the AA group he's going to is a very special one, "by invitation only", because it consists of "men with high public profiles").
yeah about that........NO. AA groups do not have "invitation only" meetings for any sort. they do have meetings for men only, women only, young alcoholics, but none based on status or income!??
yeah about that........NO. AA groups do not have "invitation only" meetings for any sort. they do have meetings for men only, women only, young alcoholics, but none based on status or income!??
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
(Oh yes, the AA group he's going to is a very special one, "by invitation only", because it consists of "men with high public profiles").
yeah about that........NO. AA groups do not have "invitation only" meetings for any sort. they do have meetings for men only, women only, young alcoholics, but none based on status or income!??
yeah about that........NO. AA groups do not have "invitation only" meetings for any sort. they do have meetings for men only, women only, young alcoholics, but none based on status or income!??
(BTW ex does not have a high public profile. He wishes ...).
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Originally Posted by LexieCat
Hey, don't blame the lawyer. You work with what you've got. And lawyer has an idiot for a client.
Sasha, I agree that ultimately him having a lawyer will make things a bit easier for you and your lawyer, especially if stuff like this keeps making it's way out of his lawyer's office. The short of it is, he can ask for whatever he wants, he can say whatever he wants to say about you, about his ex-wife, your child's school, etc. Just because he says in in a court document doesn't make it true, and it certainly doesn't make it seem logical or coherent. The more he doesn't make this about what is best for your kiddo, the easier it will be for you to step in and show them what is best for your daughter and why.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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I googled ex's lawyer (and did a little more checking in databases of jurisprudence for cases on which he had been counsel) and he sounds like a real bottom-feeder. His online reviews were abysmally bad (and I know that online reviews are no evidence of anything, but these were outstandingly bad - all from people who say "he promises the moon but then never delivers and keeps on billing me"). The cases where he's served as counsel all have a theme - he represents disgruntled divorced fathers who want more access to their kids (and who often have limited access for a good reason, like they've been convicted of assault on their ex-wives). This is the kind of lawyer that advertises on the side of buses.
So on the one hand - good that he has someone who appears to be incompetent. But bad that he has someone who appears to have no sense of an appropriate case.
My lawyer has written to his lawyer asking him to adjourn the application to allow for binding arbitration. This is my preferred route - I don't want to drag this into an endless series of court antics.
I am sick of this whole thing already. I have to see ex every other day when I bring Kid over for her two-hour visits, then I go home and read the latest documents he's fired off to my lawyer about how vindictive and malicious I am and what a terrible parent I am. He is ******* crazy, and the more I see, the more I think that cognitive deficits have really set in. I wish I could sleep for a week.
So on the one hand - good that he has someone who appears to be incompetent. But bad that he has someone who appears to have no sense of an appropriate case.
My lawyer has written to his lawyer asking him to adjourn the application to allow for binding arbitration. This is my preferred route - I don't want to drag this into an endless series of court antics.
I am sick of this whole thing already. I have to see ex every other day when I bring Kid over for her two-hour visits, then I go home and read the latest documents he's fired off to my lawyer about how vindictive and malicious I am and what a terrible parent I am. He is ******* crazy, and the more I see, the more I think that cognitive deficits have really set in. I wish I could sleep for a week.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Trust me, the courts will be intimately familiar with this lawyer's reputation--they won't have to google it. Judges talk to each other, which is why no matter how bad the judge is it pays (if you practice law) to be respectful and not do stupid, embarrassing crap no matter what.
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this really sucks to read, sasha, but also good to read everythings moving forward.
on this:
" I go home and read the latest documents he's fired off to my lawyer about how vindictive and malicious I am and what a terrible parent I am."
do you have to read it?
can your dog read it for ya??
neighbors dog???
a stray cat???
sorry if that aint right. just tryin maybe to get ya to laugh a wee bit.
on this:
" I go home and read the latest documents he's fired off to my lawyer about how vindictive and malicious I am and what a terrible parent I am."
do you have to read it?
can your dog read it for ya??
neighbors dog???
a stray cat???
sorry if that aint right. just tryin maybe to get ya to laugh a wee bit.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by tomsteve
this really sucks to read, sasha, but also good to read everythings moving forward.
on this:
" I go home and read the latest documents he's fired off to my lawyer about how vindictive and malicious I am and what a terrible parent I am."
do you have to read it?
can your dog read it for ya??
neighbors dog???
a stray cat???
sorry if that aint right. just tryin maybe to get ya to laugh a wee bit.
on this:
" I go home and read the latest documents he's fired off to my lawyer about how vindictive and malicious I am and what a terrible parent I am."
do you have to read it?
can your dog read it for ya??
neighbors dog???
a stray cat???
sorry if that aint right. just tryin maybe to get ya to laugh a wee bit.
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