Weekender Thread 23-25 June. Enjoy your revovery this weekend
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,172
Weekender Thread 23-25 June. Enjoy your revovery this weekend
I didn't use AA, to my discredit I let a few negative things I had read about them deter me from going and making my own mind up.
One of their suggestions for early recovery is 90 meetings in 90 days. This is a good idea because to a hardened alcoholic like myself 90 days seems like an eternity but the truth is that it is not long compared to the time I had been drinking.
The thing is the 90 -100 day mark is an important milestone for me certainly, and others I have read about. This is the point at which the actuality (sorry if that is not a word) of not drinking becomes more of an automatic thing. You do not have to make such an effort to stay sober and those terrible cravings do not strike every day. Much is made of having to keep working at recovery and rightly so but I think it is right to point out too that it does get easier.
I saved a lot of money since I quit about 900 days ago. Conservatively I would say £4,500/$6,000 on booze alone but in addition to the money saved my displacement activities meant that I cooked more often and better, I went from hopelessly unfit and fat to passably fit and I restored an old car. That last one earned me a chunk of money but more importantly it stopped me from sitting at home alone with nothing to do except think about drinking.
I think all of the above would have applied if my drug of choice had been something other than alcohol.
So this weekend enjoy those displacement activities and let's do our best enjoy our recovery.
One of their suggestions for early recovery is 90 meetings in 90 days. This is a good idea because to a hardened alcoholic like myself 90 days seems like an eternity but the truth is that it is not long compared to the time I had been drinking.
The thing is the 90 -100 day mark is an important milestone for me certainly, and others I have read about. This is the point at which the actuality (sorry if that is not a word) of not drinking becomes more of an automatic thing. You do not have to make such an effort to stay sober and those terrible cravings do not strike every day. Much is made of having to keep working at recovery and rightly so but I think it is right to point out too that it does get easier.
I saved a lot of money since I quit about 900 days ago. Conservatively I would say £4,500/$6,000 on booze alone but in addition to the money saved my displacement activities meant that I cooked more often and better, I went from hopelessly unfit and fat to passably fit and I restored an old car. That last one earned me a chunk of money but more importantly it stopped me from sitting at home alone with nothing to do except think about drinking.
I think all of the above would have applied if my drug of choice had been something other than alcohol.
So this weekend enjoy those displacement activities and let's do our best enjoy our recovery.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,754
Yes, it does seem like an eternity at the beginning. When I started my recovery, I only concentrated on the day and tried not to think of future 'drinking' events. It was nearly impossible to comprehend never drinking again, so I didn't. But over time it seems, the mind matures, concepts become easer to mull over and the decision falls into place.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,754
We have a number of groups at work that raise money for charity. Selling flowers, holding bake sales, popcorn days, 50/50 draws ect. One of the great joys I found in sobriety is opening up my wallet to these people. In the past I would shamefully avoid all fund raisers as I selfishly needed every penny for my hidden habit. It's a wonderful feeling to always have a few bucks in my pocket that I really don't need to hang on to.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I'm in for another sober weekend!
the beginning is tough but the benefits of perseverance are many. management of my finances has been significant for me. Bills get paid on time and money isn't being wasted on booze. It's a much better way to live.
it's good to have projects, like sao had his car restoration. When you quit, there's a lot of spare time that needs to be filled with productive activities, to avoid boredom.
Anyway. ..I'm looking forward to the weekend. ...no plans yet.
See you all later.
the beginning is tough but the benefits of perseverance are many. management of my finances has been significant for me. Bills get paid on time and money isn't being wasted on booze. It's a much better way to live.
it's good to have projects, like sao had his car restoration. When you quit, there's a lot of spare time that needs to be filled with productive activities, to avoid boredom.
Anyway. ..I'm looking forward to the weekend. ...no plans yet.
See you all later.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,410
I'm in sao--I think taking care of yourself through quality food and exercise is a crucial part of the process.
Finding a positive focus and new interests takes the focus off the drinking life and points you towards an upward spiral.
For me, beyond the physical, it was a kind of symbolic gesture of love towards myself.
At the end of my drinking, I had such self-loathing that my self-destructiveness felt like some kind of normalized penance.
When you are that far down the depressive rabbit hole, it seems like you are dispensing justice to yourself.
Of course, that isn't true.
Making those first steps to eating simple, healthy meals, cutting out sugar, taking vitamins,
joining the gym and doing yoga felt so uncomfortable to me mentally as well as physically at first.
But I persisted, and I added journaling and began to just sit with feelings and feel them until they passed,
good and bad, instead of immediately suppressing and controlling them. That was hard too.
That's what I used booze for most of my life, after all. . . to evoke "happy" and repress "sad, hurt, angry" but we all know how that pans out long term.
It built a slow momentum, but it began to propel me upwards to a personal vantage point that allowed me to see and release the dislike,
the hatred I had for me and my actions at times.
To uplift and cradle my heart more gently.
To recognize that anything that happens to you can be catalyzed for either growth or destruction.
You get to decide that part if you put down the bottle and step into your life. And to quote a great line of poetry out of context,
"that has made all the difference"
PS
Shotgun at last
Finding a positive focus and new interests takes the focus off the drinking life and points you towards an upward spiral.
For me, beyond the physical, it was a kind of symbolic gesture of love towards myself.
At the end of my drinking, I had such self-loathing that my self-destructiveness felt like some kind of normalized penance.
When you are that far down the depressive rabbit hole, it seems like you are dispensing justice to yourself.
Of course, that isn't true.
Making those first steps to eating simple, healthy meals, cutting out sugar, taking vitamins,
joining the gym and doing yoga felt so uncomfortable to me mentally as well as physically at first.
But I persisted, and I added journaling and began to just sit with feelings and feel them until they passed,
good and bad, instead of immediately suppressing and controlling them. That was hard too.
That's what I used booze for most of my life, after all. . . to evoke "happy" and repress "sad, hurt, angry" but we all know how that pans out long term.
It built a slow momentum, but it began to propel me upwards to a personal vantage point that allowed me to see and release the dislike,
the hatred I had for me and my actions at times.
To uplift and cradle my heart more gently.
To recognize that anything that happens to you can be catalyzed for either growth or destruction.
You get to decide that part if you put down the bottle and step into your life. And to quote a great line of poetry out of context,
"that has made all the difference"
PS
Shotgun at last
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 469
Its Day 7 for me today so the coming weekend will be my second weekend. I'm off work with depression & anxiety at the moment and apart from running, reading and coming on here I am not doing much. I need to find myself another hobby especially for the evenings X
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
This will be my first sober weekend in honestly, I don't know how long.
It's the weekend before payday so I don't have the inclination nor the funds to buy any alcohol.
So far I'm enjoying my sobriety (the pink cloud phase I've heard it called) and I've got household chores that have been sitting gathering dust so that's my action plan! A bit of decluttering!
Hope everyone has a good weekend
It's the weekend before payday so I don't have the inclination nor the funds to buy any alcohol.
So far I'm enjoying my sobriety (the pink cloud phase I've heard it called) and I've got household chores that have been sitting gathering dust so that's my action plan! A bit of decluttering!
Hope everyone has a good weekend
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
I am in. Poor Hawkeye made such a thoughtful post she missed the shotgun she thought she had. LOL!! This weekend I have a stupid blind date and I am going to do battle with weeds. Everything in my life is maintained so much better now. Including me!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 275
I'm in because this weekend is going to be a particularly rough one for me due to my husband and I helping our dog Argus pass over to the bridge on Saturday. We've had him for 12 years (he's 14, a retired racing greyhound, and is the sweetest and gentlest canine companion ever).
Am focusing now on trying to be in the present and enjoy our final few days for him.
Am focusing now on trying to be in the present and enjoy our final few days for him.
They truly are family.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,805
So sorry about your doggie, Argillaceous. That's sad. Enjoy your time with him.
I'm in! Not much planned for the weekend - might be going to a high school graduation party on Saturday, if I feel like it. Might just try to get out hiking,
and I also have weeds that need taming. In the beginning, I definitely needed lots of activities to keep myself from thinking about drinking too much - just to stay busy and occupied during the times I would have been drinking. Now I don't feel like I need to do that as much - but it's so nice to have the freedom and extra money to do whatever I want! Or nothing!
I'm in! Not much planned for the weekend - might be going to a high school graduation party on Saturday, if I feel like it. Might just try to get out hiking,
and I also have weeds that need taming. In the beginning, I definitely needed lots of activities to keep myself from thinking about drinking too much - just to stay busy and occupied during the times I would have been drinking. Now I don't feel like I need to do that as much - but it's so nice to have the freedom and extra money to do whatever I want! Or nothing!
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Saou, thank you for the opener and what a reflection to ponder.
I didn't really spend that much on booze. I drank probably every other weekend. I would say it amounted to a few beers at the bar and a six pack at home. All told the actual alcohol probably cost me about $10 to $15 every other weekend. BUT..............when I think of the cost due to the outcome of that drinking, I can't even begin to a value on the price I have paid, far too much. So glad that's over.
argillaceous, I will be with you in spirit this weekend. As each day passes I think about Waffles and the decision we made. Unfortunately, we waited too long. He was suffering, and ultimately, he went through some very unnecessary discomfort due to my inability to be realistic and hoping that things were going to change. I knew in my heart that they weren't but I made him endure things that were needless because of my faltering to just do the right thing.
My cousin judges cats for a living. She has dogs and cats of her own and she told me that making this decision is the most loving and unselfish thing you can do as a pet owner. It doesn't make it easy to do but it helps to relieve some of the feelings that come along with making the decision.
I'm thinking of you.
I didn't really spend that much on booze. I drank probably every other weekend. I would say it amounted to a few beers at the bar and a six pack at home. All told the actual alcohol probably cost me about $10 to $15 every other weekend. BUT..............when I think of the cost due to the outcome of that drinking, I can't even begin to a value on the price I have paid, far too much. So glad that's over.
argillaceous, I will be with you in spirit this weekend. As each day passes I think about Waffles and the decision we made. Unfortunately, we waited too long. He was suffering, and ultimately, he went through some very unnecessary discomfort due to my inability to be realistic and hoping that things were going to change. I knew in my heart that they weren't but I made him endure things that were needless because of my faltering to just do the right thing.
My cousin judges cats for a living. She has dogs and cats of her own and she told me that making this decision is the most loving and unselfish thing you can do as a pet owner. It doesn't make it easy to do but it helps to relieve some of the feelings that come along with making the decision.
I'm thinking of you.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
I have a really hard time not taking other people's behaviors personally, when it seems like they pick and choose who to treat with respect and affection and who they don't, instead of treating everyone equal... It is hard not to think it is about you when someone treats you differently...
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