Day 34-still haven't gone to a meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 147
Day 34-still haven't gone to a meeting
It's day 34 and I still haven't followed through with going to a meeting. I know where they meet and I know what time, but every time I get into the car to go, I fail to bring myself to go. I don't know what I'm scared of. It just seems so scary to me to be around people. I've been isolated for so long. I'm frustrated with myself and with the whole situation. Feeling all these emotions without anything to numb it is getting to me.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
First! Great job on more than a month! That's awesome. And good for you for considering AA- it has been critical to my sobriety like it is for many others.
Would it help if there was someone to go with you? I know my dad took me and often went in with me during my first 90 days.
Some places, you can call the local AA chapter/number and someone will go with you and even pick you up.
It's pretty common to be nervous or weirded out or "something" about getting started....you can do it. Have you looked around here at the AA/12 Step/Alcoholism threads? Lots of us have experience with getting started in AA and might be helpful.
Take care.
Would it help if there was someone to go with you? I know my dad took me and often went in with me during my first 90 days.
Some places, you can call the local AA chapter/number and someone will go with you and even pick you up.
It's pretty common to be nervous or weirded out or "something" about getting started....you can do it. Have you looked around here at the AA/12 Step/Alcoholism threads? Lots of us have experience with getting started in AA and might be helpful.
Take care.
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Congrats on Day 34!!
I'm sure others can chime in with encouragement.
But I am not a "meeting" person and I don't even think about them at all.
I do have my own personal meetings (if that makes sense). I go through my morning ritual of positiveness. (Yes I even look in mirror and say nice things about myself)..... If I don't no one else will (trust me) :-)
Don't beat yourself up for not going... If and When you are ready you will go.
I'm sure others can chime in with encouragement.
But I am not a "meeting" person and I don't even think about them at all.
I do have my own personal meetings (if that makes sense). I go through my morning ritual of positiveness. (Yes I even look in mirror and say nice things about myself)..... If I don't no one else will (trust me) :-)
Don't beat yourself up for not going... If and When you are ready you will go.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
for me that fear was fear of the unkown- what was behind them doors???
the doors to my 1st meeting were the hardest to open. they got easier as i went to more meetings.
is there an AA hotline number for your area you could call? maybe you could meet a member or 2 outside of the meeting place to walk with ya through them doors?
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there. I dont know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself. I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didnt know that one of the definitions of courage is the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear. Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear. During the times I didnt have love in my life I most assuredly had fear.
courage is an amazing thing.
the doors to my 1st meeting were the hardest to open. they got easier as i went to more meetings.
is there an AA hotline number for your area you could call? maybe you could meet a member or 2 outside of the meeting place to walk with ya through them doors?
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there. I dont know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself. I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didnt know that one of the definitions of courage is the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear. Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear. During the times I didnt have love in my life I most assuredly had fear.
courage is an amazing thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by Nonsensical 
What do you hope to get from going to a meeting that has you disappointed in yourself for not going?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Being scared is ok! Nobody shows up to their first AA meeting in the best of shape. But don't let fear stop you, just go. I have driven around the block outside AA meetings in early days and reconciled to just stopping the car and getting out. You can do this and you will be so glad you did! I am over a year sober and have made so many sober friends in my AA experiences. Two years ago I thought I am the only person on the planet dealing with addictive tendencies and how alone I was - I could not have been more wrong! Good luck and keep us posted!
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Doing anything for the first time can be daunting. I experience that, too, and then once I have got the "first time" out of the way, I wonder what I was afraid of.
Good luck at your first meeting, remember everyone there had to go for the first time, too. You are not alone
Good luck at your first meeting, remember everyone there had to go for the first time, too. You are not alone
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Nonsensical
What do you hope to get from going to a meeting that has you disappointed in yourself for not going?
Originally Posted by Giraffegirl2013
I hope to find sober friends. At the moment, I do not have any to talk to.
) "We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek."That second meeting is huge
Keep coming back
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Giraffegirl2013
I went to the meeting. It was overwhelming at first, but I can see how it gets easier with each time. I am grateful for the encouragement.
Good for you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
Addiction makes a dangerous lover. It wants us lonely, isolated and not getting better. It has many weapons in it's arsenal- shame, fear, fear of change, the 'judgement' of others, guilt and lies. Any change is difficult for me- in recovery. If you take a positive risk...and trust the intent of these meetings- to offer empathy and support- you may find it uplifting. The first meeting I went to - a more sad, pathetic, deranged and ill and lost human being would you see. A stranger offered to talk me thru the steps and coffee. He became my sponsor (guide,friend). I am not an AA zealot...but there is sense in the approach. Nothing I tried before worked- so I had NOTHING to lose (as I had already lost it all, including- briefly my life..3 times) and everything to gain. That human connection, I now believe saved my life a fourth time.
Give yourself a chance- give yourself permission to go to a meeting.
Empathy and support to you.
Give yourself a chance- give yourself permission to go to a meeting.
Empathy and support to you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
