22 year old, high functioning, developing a problem?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 3
22 year old, high functioning, developing a problem?
Hi everyone!
I'm Jessa, and this is the first time for me on a site like this. I think I may be developing a problem or have the serious potential to develop one. I have been drinking since I was 13, and I have to admit I can drink most grown men under the table now. I am the "tomboy" if you will. I am not the one you will find waking up in a strangers bed, passed out on a toilet in a public bathroom, or getting in fights with someone who I think is looking at my boyfriend the wrong way ..(especially since I don't have one) Anyway, when I would look at friends or family, that type of behavior is what I would associate a drinking problem with or just a very low tolerance. I considered myself different because I usually plateau when I am drinking and keep my composure and go on with my life the next day. Lately that hasn't been the case. I still keep my composure and don't go crazy, but I will drink 2-4 days in a row and my mental clarity is shot until about the beginning of the next weekend. Then I am excited to go again because I feel better and happy, then BOOM, it happens again. And I can never use good moderation. Once I start, I don't stop. It always feels like my tolerance is high enough that if I stop then I will lose all the progress I have made from drinking already. (if that makes sense) Oh, I also do not like have "Sexual Relations" unless I am pretty juiced. It's like it isn't enjoyable for me unless I am.. Anyway.. does anyone have any similar stories, or advice for me? Part of me thinks "oh you are young, this will pass" and the other side is "you have serious alcoholism in your family, and this is just the start of a serious problem" I try to do research and I haven't found anything that really explains what I am going through. I hope SR can help. Please don't hesitate to ask any questions, I would love to speak openly with everyone. Thank-you
Jessa
I'm Jessa, and this is the first time for me on a site like this. I think I may be developing a problem or have the serious potential to develop one. I have been drinking since I was 13, and I have to admit I can drink most grown men under the table now. I am the "tomboy" if you will. I am not the one you will find waking up in a strangers bed, passed out on a toilet in a public bathroom, or getting in fights with someone who I think is looking at my boyfriend the wrong way ..(especially since I don't have one) Anyway, when I would look at friends or family, that type of behavior is what I would associate a drinking problem with or just a very low tolerance. I considered myself different because I usually plateau when I am drinking and keep my composure and go on with my life the next day. Lately that hasn't been the case. I still keep my composure and don't go crazy, but I will drink 2-4 days in a row and my mental clarity is shot until about the beginning of the next weekend. Then I am excited to go again because I feel better and happy, then BOOM, it happens again. And I can never use good moderation. Once I start, I don't stop. It always feels like my tolerance is high enough that if I stop then I will lose all the progress I have made from drinking already. (if that makes sense) Oh, I also do not like have "Sexual Relations" unless I am pretty juiced. It's like it isn't enjoyable for me unless I am.. Anyway.. does anyone have any similar stories, or advice for me? Part of me thinks "oh you are young, this will pass" and the other side is "you have serious alcoholism in your family, and this is just the start of a serious problem" I try to do research and I haven't found anything that really explains what I am going through. I hope SR can help. Please don't hesitate to ask any questions, I would love to speak openly with everyone. Thank-you
Jessa
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Welcome to SR Jessa. Well, they say alcoholism is progressive, so trying to label what you are currently going through as a "phase" probably is an incorrect assessment. Admittedly you say once you start, you can't stop. That's a sign. A big one. Quitting is easy, staying quit is hard, but I think most people around here would agree with me that sobriety is pretty darn rewarding in its own right. Wish you the best.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
"High functioning" is not a type of alcoholic, it's a stage of alcoholism. Sooner or later you won't be 'high functioning' anymore. 
If you get sober now, you'll have far fewer regrets when you get to be my age.
If you get sober now, you'll have far fewer regrets when you get to be my age.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by least 
"High functioning" is not a type of alcoholic, it's a stage of alcoholism. Sooner or later you won't be 'high functioning' anymore.
If you get sober now, you'll have far fewer regrets when you get to be my age.
If you get sober now, you'll have far fewer regrets when you get to be my age.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by jad3501
Thank you thomas11 for your candor! I appreciate it.
-Jessa
-Jessa
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I clearly had a drinking problem when I was 22. The problem was I didn't quit drinking until 30 years later.
Don't spend the next xx number of years in denial about your relationship with alcohol.
Don't spend the next xx number of years in denial about your relationship with alcohol.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Or I haven't taught myself how to do it.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Originally Posted by least
Moderation can't be 'taught' or learned. You're either a normal drinker or you're not. Don't waste your time trying to 'learn' how to moderate your drinking. Stop now and work on improving your life thru sobriety.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome, Jessa! You can learn a lot and get good support here.
I landed in treatment and then AA at 21.
One thing I've learned is that if there are things you haven't done while drinking, just put "yet" at the end of it. I ended up crossing a lot of lines and breaking my own rules about things I would "never" do before I got sober.
When I relapsed years later, I tried to moderate but only proved to myself that it's something that's just not possible for me, even after a long time away from it. It was a painful lesson. I finally managed to stop because I knew without a doubt that all those things I hadn't done yet were all possible if I kept on drinking.
I landed in treatment and then AA at 21.
One thing I've learned is that if there are things you haven't done while drinking, just put "yet" at the end of it. I ended up crossing a lot of lines and breaking my own rules about things I would "never" do before I got sober.
When I relapsed years later, I tried to moderate but only proved to myself that it's something that's just not possible for me, even after a long time away from it. It was a painful lesson. I finally managed to stop because I knew without a doubt that all those things I hadn't done yet were all possible if I kept on drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Hi Jessa. I realized in my mid-twenties that I didn't drink like most other people. It all finally gelled for me earlier this year -- at age forty. Only by completely cutting out alcohol was I able to manage life and grow as a person. Moderation (for me) only prolonged the inevitable. The good news is, you're at a great age to quit, and in the right place to get support
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
I clearly had a drinking problem when I was 22. The problem was I didn't quit drinking until 30 years later.
Don't spend the next xx number of years in denial about your relationship with alcohol.
Don't spend the next xx number of years in denial about your relationship with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
Originally Posted by least
"High functioning" is not a type of alcoholic, it's a stage of alcoholism. Sooner or later you won't be 'high functioning' anymore.
If you get sober now, you'll have far fewer regrets when you get to be my age.
If you get sober now, you'll have far fewer regrets when you get to be my age.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 285
Originally Posted by zerothehero
I tried to moderate for years, but it turns out not drinking at all removes that struggle.
Yes! So much better not to fill my head with all the convoluted ways I would try to moderate!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 16
Welcome!! I'm very new to sober life myself (Day 3!) but I've found that people that don't have a problem with alcohol don't spend their time worrying about whether they have a problem with alcohol... 
And if you do have a problem then moderation won't work. The only choice you have is whether to deal with the problem now or at a later date. I left it 10 years and wish I'd confronted it sooner!
And if you do have a problem then moderation won't work. The only choice you have is whether to deal with the problem now or at a later date. I left it 10 years and wish I'd confronted it sooner!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
I knew I had a problem by 22, but kept at it for over another decade before I finally did something about it. During that decade, the amount of damage and trouble alcohol caused me would take probably months to recite. At some point or another, alcohol literally everything I had. I wish I would have had the foresight to address the issue at 22. There is less of a social stigma with drinking at your age, but drinking harmfully is drinking harmfully no matter what the age. You are in the right place.
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