Does it help to count the days?
Does it help to count the days?
I sometimes feel it's a competition to see how many days, weeks, months, years people have been sober. If you commit to quitting, and pull through, does it make a difference?
I suppose in the event of relapses, beating your "PR" may be helpful, but I can also see it as being dangerous in the sense that you may 'gift' yourself the wrong poison.
Just a thought..
I suppose in the event of relapses, beating your "PR" may be helpful, but I can also see it as being dangerous in the sense that you may 'gift' yourself the wrong poison.
Just a thought..
for ME it is....except somewhere between 8 and 9 years i lost track of whether it WAS 8 OR 9 years.
i never saw it as a competition, i saw it as acknowledging the DATE i committed to changing, and my own track record for holding on to that commitment. also because in early addiction (first couple of YEARS) there are certain periods of time when one might find themselves MORE susceptible to cravings and thoughts of relapse, it helped ME to know where i was on the continuum. and there was something pretty damn special about hitting the ONE YEAR mark.
i never saw it as a competition, i saw it as acknowledging the DATE i committed to changing, and my own track record for holding on to that commitment. also because in early addiction (first couple of YEARS) there are certain periods of time when one might find themselves MORE susceptible to cravings and thoughts of relapse, it helped ME to know where i was on the continuum. and there was something pretty damn special about hitting the ONE YEAR mark.
first I counted my days, then my months and now, gleefully , my years!
I, too, enjoy the sense of accomplishment. I get great pleasure out of my growing pile of sober days.
To each their own
I, too, enjoy the sense of accomplishment. I get great pleasure out of my growing pile of sober days.
To each their own
Do you not count your exercise reps? How many miles you do? Laps? Rounds of fighting? The weight you are lifting?
If counting the number of pushups you can perform doesn't relapse you back to zero activity, how can counting sober days send you back to drinking?
If counting the number of pushups you can perform doesn't relapse you back to zero activity, how can counting sober days send you back to drinking?
Counting represents different things to different people. It definitely helps me. I can remember very vividly a time not that long ago when I would have sold my soul to stay sober for even a few hours but couldn't. My day tally reminds me of how far I've come and how much I want to keep from being that unhappy ever again. Now at 140 days and counting, baby!
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
It can be very, very helpful early on in sobriety, as it feels like you are accomplishing something significant with each passing day. Over time, you will likely find yourself counting each day less and less. Every now and then, I calculate my total days but it is not a daily (or even weekly) routine anymore.
I count!
To me, it helps put things in perspective.
A sense of measurement, when you need to focus on something.
Like when I quit smoking...I counted hours, then days, then weeks, months and years.
17 years later, I still count
To me, it helps put things in perspective.
A sense of measurement, when you need to focus on something.
Like when I quit smoking...I counted hours, then days, then weeks, months and years.
17 years later, I still count
Counting represents different things to different people. It definitely helps me. I can remember very vividly a time not that long ago when I would have sold my soul to stay sober for even a few hours but couldn't. My day tally reminds me of how far I've come and how much I want to keep from being that unhappy ever again. Now at 140 days and counting, baby!
I counted when I started because each day sober was like a miracle for me.
Once I got to 90 or so I started counting months but eventually I stopped counting - not drinking was my new lifestyle.
I don't think you'll find many here who see it as a competition.
To me the journey was an intensely personal experience.
D
Once I got to 90 or so I started counting months but eventually I stopped counting - not drinking was my new lifestyle.
I don't think you'll find many here who see it as a competition.
To me the journey was an intensely personal experience.
D
I count as a way of staying accountable to myself and others. Every morning when I start my daily post in my class thread here with "Day #___" I'm telling myself and every one here that I did not drink the day before and plan to stay sober again today. Other than that, I could care less about what day I'm on or what day you're on. We're all sober today. That's what really matters.
I'm just thinking about discourse in this forum, and a lot seems to revolve around numbers. Not saying it's a bad thing, but is it different for one to get 3 days in and relapse vs. 30 days to relapse?
I was inline with Dee with regard to the number of days I counted. After about 3 months, I didn't count each day. I just didn't think about drinking.
It's probably a good progress tool in the beginning. I've heard something about it taking 21 days to kick an addiction.
I was inline with Dee with regard to the number of days I counted. After about 3 months, I didn't count each day. I just didn't think about drinking.
It's probably a good progress tool in the beginning. I've heard something about it taking 21 days to kick an addiction.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 770
I kept track of the months. After a while though I found myself focusing more on quantity rather than quality (mostly in regards to my mental health.) And found it
Not helpful.
Now I acknowledge my annual sobriety date but that's about it.
Not helpful.
Now I acknowledge my annual sobriety date but that's about it.
I used to HATE counting days because to me it was such a huge set up for failure.
And I compared myself constantly to others too, like those in the same month class as me, etc.
Now I count months. I have a couple apps that count days but I don't really and haven't really paid attention to many day numbers.
I know it's different this time because I meant it and I am committed to it.
Those other times that I staunchly said I was NOT a day counter, I knew I didn't really mean it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was not committed and kept one toe out the back door. Just in case.
All I know now is I'm a handful of days away from 6 months. Last year this time I was having trouble stringing together 6 days never mind weeks.
I know for me, it's something I get to look forward to bring in the new year with every year. I never thought Id get this far and I'm eager to keep putting numbers in my pocket, god knows I put enough money in the government's pockets with my drinking, I'd like to take a little something back of my own in celebration.
And I compared myself constantly to others too, like those in the same month class as me, etc.
Now I count months. I have a couple apps that count days but I don't really and haven't really paid attention to many day numbers.
I know it's different this time because I meant it and I am committed to it.
Those other times that I staunchly said I was NOT a day counter, I knew I didn't really mean it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was not committed and kept one toe out the back door. Just in case.
All I know now is I'm a handful of days away from 6 months. Last year this time I was having trouble stringing together 6 days never mind weeks.
I know for me, it's something I get to look forward to bring in the new year with every year. I never thought Id get this far and I'm eager to keep putting numbers in my pocket, god knows I put enough money in the government's pockets with my drinking, I'd like to take a little something back of my own in celebration.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
I like to count months. Not as a competition but to remind myself of the investment I have given to my sobriety. For me the more sober time I have the harder it is for me to foolishly throw it away. Not drinking today is the most important.
If it is a competition I hope everyone wins😀
If it is a competition I hope everyone wins😀
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I personally have no opposition to recognizing the amount of time that has passed since I was a drinker, because alcohol has been squarely set as "never an option", but for some people counting can be a problem. Many propose that it is our Addictive Voice that counts time, and can "use" that as a reason to return to drinking/using (as in, "Look how long you've gone! We deserve a drink!" or "It's been so long, I can handle just a few now."
I think about a particularly abusive ex from time to time and I really have to think hard about how long it's been since I made the decision to cut contact with him completely. After a long struggle, I quit him completely and left the pain behind, and never looked back. I don't count daily how long it's been. To me, that would indicate that he still had a hold on me or that I still entertain that relationship on some level. I think of my addiction in the very same terms. Never going back there again, so I give it the level of mental energy that it deserves. Exactly zero.
I think about a particularly abusive ex from time to time and I really have to think hard about how long it's been since I made the decision to cut contact with him completely. After a long struggle, I quit him completely and left the pain behind, and never looked back. I don't count daily how long it's been. To me, that would indicate that he still had a hold on me or that I still entertain that relationship on some level. I think of my addiction in the very same terms. Never going back there again, so I give it the level of mental energy that it deserves. Exactly zero.
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