Religion, Faith, Higher Power Question

Old 06-19-2017, 12:09 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 844
Religion, Faith, Higher Power Question

One of the concepts from Alanon that I learned was to Let Go and Let God (or your HP). This is something that I have been familiar with from a young age because of being involved in church, and my strong faith. I wont get to deep into my personal beliefs. But another concept that I also learned in church was to change what you can, lean on God for strength, wisdom, guidance in knowing what you can change.. and then accepting what you cant. My religion has also helped my understand my value and self worth because each child of God is special, loved, and worthy. Its also something my parents reinforced as I grew up.

Now to my question. I was wondering how many people have a foundation in their own religion, beliefs. And did you end up with a take away similar to what I described above?

Or do some people see these things as new, and something they have gained through Alanon or other recovery programs.

I was reading a little about Celebrate Recovery today, and thinking about these things, and I was curious what other peoples experiences were.

And also interested to know if anyone here has used a faith based counselor (religious) to work on marriage issues such as infidelity with their partner? Its something my husband and I talked about trying over the weekend but I havent committed to it yet.
aliciagr is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 12:31 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
SparkleKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,448
I grew up with no religious background whatsoever. I learned the serenity prayer (changing what I can, accepting what I can't) through my own personal education about alcoholism and codependence, which happened here and in therapy.
SparkleKitty is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 01:57 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Semi-Professional Philosopher
 
steve-in-kville's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Rural PA
Posts: 1,013
Originally Posted by aliciagr View Post
And also interested to know if anyone here has used a faith based counselor (religious) to work on marriage issues such as infidelity with their partner? Its something my husband and I talked about trying over the weekend but I havent committed to it yet.
My wife and I used a counseling team from our church we attended years ago. It was more financial than anything. It was two older couples from our church who we knew really well. We all worked as a team. In our situation it worked out great. There were two men and two ladies, so there was no taking sides on issues (as so often happens with just one counselor.... had a bad experience!)
steve-in-kville is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 02:17 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 65
Thank you for this post. I go to Al Anon and have been to AA meetings where people attend are from MANY different religious backgrounds and it's all about defining what God is to you. It's not a church, nor a cult - which I've heard people call it. So what do you want to call your higher power? Nature? The universe?

I actually had a crazy year this year where I genuinely felt there was a higher power. I felt like a higher power created a path for me, obstacles and all for A REASON. There were silver linings. Around the same time, I have been practicing meditation, which I consider my prayer time where I am connecting with the universe and grounding myself, realigning and reconnecting. I clear my head and listen. I feel as a "recovering" codependent and someone prone to anxiety and depression, it has helped to have this practice where I take my hands off the wheel. I've held that wheel so tightly in the past. It also has helped through prayer/meditation to forget what I think I need and to pray for what is the highest good for all, focus on what's thriving in my life, and viewing obstacles as detours in the right direction. This has all helped me through my break up, especially on the really bad days, like today!

I was raised in the church, but when my dad moved out, I didn't go to church anymore. I am open to it now, but I find this daily practice more helpful.
Mpie9 is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 03:34 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 844
Thanks Sparkle and Mpie.

It had never crossed my mind until today that people may be hearing some of these messages for the first time through the use of a recovery program.

Mpie - Ive been doing meditation also to help me relax. Ive been told just a few minutes can help reshape your thoughts and emotions. I enjoy it too.
aliciagr is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 03:49 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 844
Originally Posted by steve-in-kville View Post
My wife and I used a counseling team from our church we attended years ago. It was more financial than anything. It was two older couples from our church who we knew really well. We all worked as a team. In our situation it worked out great. There were two men and two ladies, so there was no taking sides on issues (as so often happens with just one counselor.... had a bad experience!)
Thank you for sharing this experience. I have never heard of a counseling team like that but I like the idea a lot. My parents actually suggested the idea of counseling from our church, and I think it might be helpful. We had used a family therapy/marriage counselor before and it was good, but we moved and hadnt dealt with everything at that point. Its tricky finding a good therapist. Often it does become one sided, and sometimes I think one partner goes into it thinking they will just get the therapist on their side and then together come down on the other partner. Thats not going to allow anyone the freedom to be vulnerable, open, honest which is what the whole process is about in my opinion. I like the team approach and have no idea if its common practice but I will find out. I know for sure we have long term married couples at church and some have church positions like that of a deacon, I could feel comfortable with this approach. Thanks again.
aliciagr is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 04:56 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
FallenAngelina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 821
Originally Posted by Mpie9 View Post
I felt like a higher power created a path for me, obstacles and all for A REASON.
I call this Life and believe that all of our struggles and conflicts are tailor made for us to benefit from experiencing - not that they are our "fault," but that there is positive in everything. We always have the choice of our perspective and seeing the benefit in everything. Many of us have incredible growing seasons after a difficult time and we come to appreciate aspects of life all the more in the aftermath of a hardship. I've always felt the presence of a higher power and it's taken a few forms over the years. Judaism is part of my tradition, but I don't feel there's a "Jewish God" or even the God that the Bible talks about. The higher power is much bigger than humans can even imagine and tell stories about or even teach about. I appreciate Al-Anon for the similar understanding that a higher power is immense enough and wondrous enough to incorporate the millions of ways that humans can conceive of and explain that presence.

I'm mindful about giving over my struggles to my HP (spiritually based yoga and walking meditation particularly help me) and can't imagine any kind of recovery for myself without this. It's an experience that I've always had and am grateful for, especially now.
FallenAngelina is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 05:24 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
I grew up with my family's religion of choice.

For me it was part of what created my co-dependent behaviors. I left organized religion as soon as I could and thought I spent some time searching over the next half of my life it was not a big piece of my journey.

Al-anon, open AA, a great therapist and some meditatione have helped me to not only come to terms with my childhood cornerstone of religion, but also a spiritual practice that works for me know. This was a big learning for me of "Take what you like and leave the rest."

I live in a conservative/traditional area. All of the Al-Anon meetings close with the Lord's Prayer. I struggled with this for some time, but after talking about it in the meetings, business meetings and with my therapist it was my reaction to my old stuff that I had to work through.

Step 4-12 have been easier for me, but Step work around 1, 2, and 3 remains challenging......but I am so grateful for the fact that 12 step work helped me to get centered on my own well-being.

Now I find my spirituality supportive of me and my journey. It previously really only brought shame.
LifeRecovery is offline  
Old 06-19-2017, 05:38 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
NYCDoglvr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I grew up with no religious background. I've been sober 25 years and also in Alanon. Have a higher power that is a universal force, more aligned with Buddhism.
NYCDoglvr is offline  
Old 06-21-2017, 10:07 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 844
Thank you to everyone who replied.

Thinking about the spirituality and religious connection has brought up a lot of questions for me, and has answered a few also.

The HP is mentioned a lot on these forums so if anyone else wants to share please do.
aliciagr is offline  
Old 06-21-2017, 11:05 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
It doesn't have to be God. My God didn't get me involved with an Alcoholic. I did that myself. I didn't need God to help me get away from it. No doubt about it a Higher Power created earth and nature and storms and such, but you can call that a scientific higher power if you wish. To me a higher power is the things that occur that can't occur under normal circumstances.

The concept of a higher power can be things like, I happened to drive this way instead of that way and a good thing happened to me as a result. Or it is the strength that is within you to make changes that you don't think you can. The HP can be a moment of focus that you couldn't find until reading a book or watching someone else motivate you. It can be fleeting, it can be lifelong.

Once I let go of the idea that a HP had to be a God, it was easier for me to make peace with the notion that God has nothing to do with us being involved with an alcoholic or them being an alcoholic or any other such thing. Nor was out of touch with God because I was with one. I didn't need to pray about it. No God I believe in would subject me or anyone to the hardship that comes with being involved with an alcoholic. WE DID THIS TO OURSELVES!

There are many things that are HP events. If you wish to correlate that with God totally your prerogative.
Hangnbyathread is offline  
Old 06-21-2017, 11:36 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
hopeful4's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
When things were really bad I actually went to a psychiatrist for a short time. However, my current counselor is a Christian based counselor and I am so glad. Keep in mind, he still has the same education if he were not Christian, and that would be important. There are a lot of Christian people who deem themselves qualified to be counselors without the education.
hopeful4 is offline  
Old 06-21-2017, 12:19 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
I'm unsure about the existence of "God," and I absolutely DO NOT believe in organized religion and believe 99.99 percent of all religious leaders for every religion to be false profits. The only difference between a cult and a religion is which one you belong to-- yours is a religion, everybody else's is a cult.

Here's what I do know-- there is a higher power and I'm not it, and the program works for me when I work it its way and not mine. THIS I KNOW.

Cyranoak
Cyranoak is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:46 AM.