1stepup

Hi all, not sure if Im welcome here anymore, Ive had so many attempts to stay sober and failed time after time, a relationship that was abusive towards me ended in April and Ive drank most of the time ever since. I met her in AA and everything was great for first 2 months but after that she admitted she wasn't alcoholic and encouraged me to drink, which I did but since then I needed the drink to stay in relationship, it turned very abusive towards me and she once tried to drown me in a bath and then punched me in the face the day before I was due to start a new job. As a man its hard to admit all this but its the fuel that keeps me drinking, want to stop as I have two beautiful daughters that want their daddy back.... help. please.....

AnvilheadII

well goodness, i'm glad you are HERE and out of that awful situation. first things first, stay sober TODAY. everything else can get sorted if you do that perfectly each day.

take a breath, welcome home.

Maudcat

Don't think about not drinking forever.
Think about not drinking today.
Just today.

nova84

Hi 1stepup, I cant imagine for one second that you wouldn't be welcome here at SR because you've returned to alcohol a number of times...it's great you've posted. Wishing you well x

VigilanceNow

Welcome!! Of course you are welcome here. Relapse happens, but it doesn't have to. It's great that you're going to AA - do you have a sponsor yet? Getting a sponsor saved my life, I think. Had to be accountable, do the work, prove I wasn't​ just showing up but was working it. You drank for a long time, but that doesn't have to be forever! You are obviously ready for change. Change everything. No more abuse of yourself or allowing others to abuse you.

I agree wholeheartedly with Maudcat - just focus on today. I will not drink today. That's how I keep it manageable as a person who loved her booze and the socializing that came with it. Just for today :-)

Culture

Welcome!!!!
We are all here for you and you are not alone .

PurpleKnight

You don't have to be alone in this StepUp . . . SR is in your corner!!

Purplrks3647

Solarion

You are always welcome here. Just keep trying, over and over again.

CreativeThinker

Glad you got out of the situation you were in...sounds horrible. Learn from what you have been through and don't drink today.

Hang in...it WILL get better...promise!

Hevyn

Welcome back, 1stepup. There'll never be a time we won't be here to support & encourage you.

I'm sorry for the painful situation you found yourself in. Things are about to get so much better. We know you can reclaim your life.

PhoenixJ

no contact with her. drinking will make everything 10 times worse- and you will not be the dad you seem to want to be. get a plan for sobriety going- lots at sr on that, go to meetings- lots, aa/smart. see a doctor about your health, see a counsellor about your addiction. support to you

Dee74

You're always welcoem here 1step

I feel a great empathy because, many years ago I was in a similar relationship.

Its harder for men to come out and admit that I think so you're really doing the right thing for your self here

I think when you're in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

Cut yourself free from this abusive relationship - file charges/get an AVO if thats what you want to do - maybe check out these sites and crisis lines

Mankind Initiative | 01823 334244
Men's Advice Line

...and then plug yourself back into AA. You've done really well there in the past

You've been sober before and you can be sober again. I have faith in you

D

Delilah1

Hi Stepup,

Welcome back! I'm sorry about the situation you found yourself in, and I'm glad you are out of the relationship. Start by staying sober today. Go back to AA, or any other supports that may help you as you work on your sobriety, and your emotional well-being.

Please check in on here as much as needed.

fini

glad you're back, 1stepup.

Mizzuno

Welcome back to SR.
A relationship is not worth suffering physical abuse. NO ONE should be punching you in the face or anywhere. NO ONE Should be attempting to drown you.

I am sorry for your hurt and for all that you have been going through.

You can be the father you want to be and the father that your children deserve. Start today with a new sober approach to your life and dont look back. You are worthy of so much more. You just have to know it and put your health and your children first.

Log on here and post. Go to AA if that is what you need. Make a plan and work the plan. As PJ said, no contact and if you have to file a restraining order get on it now.

With each passing day and the decisions that you make, life can be healthy and beautiful.

Nowsthetime

You are ALWAYS welcome here. Always.

I am glad you are out of that relationship. Now, never open that door again.

Do you have a plan for not drinking? Use AVRT and and mixture of other principles. I and conscious of my recovery and I hang here almost everyday even if it is to read a bit.

You are not alone. We get what you are going through and we have most been where you are. Use NOW to turn this around.

You can do it.

Purplrks3647

We should set her up with one of my exes!

Sorry, that may not be appropriate at the time.....I try to use humor to get through things. Hope you're doing better today

tomsteve

youre always welcome and we're glad ya made it back.
i was verbally and physically abused by my sons' mother. it gave a huge blow to my self esteem, which i tried repairing with alcohol.
it didnt work.

help,please.....hmmmm.... 1stepup, i think you already know where the solution lies. first ya gotta toss out the shovel- stop diggin your grave.
then get back to AA and use the steps. go back to AA, get the big book,read it, get a sponsor, pray like crazy, go to meetings, start working the steps, repeat.
i think this was a great lesson for you- no new relationships in early recovery,especially from inside the rooms- only someone as sick- or sicker- than you will be attracted to you.
and alcohol didnt help crap.
get a sponsor thats going to tell ya like it is- no sugar coating it.
going back through your threads a bit, its gonna require a crowbar to pop yer head outta yer butt- so go to meetings and listen for someone that doesnt have a problem callin a cup a cup- someone that will call ya out on your BS.
i didnt listen to the no relationships suggestion. got myself into one with a chronic relapser. i stayed sober, but it was one helluva lesson learned.
AND
i needed a sponsor that didnt sugarcoat ANY of the message. that old fart SOB was callin me out left and right on my BS.

and gave me life by doing so.

Colette122

Wow, don't ever think you can't come back to this place because you've embarrassed yourself or failed too many times! I'm sure we've all sunk to depths we can't imagine ourselves doing! I know I have. The good thing is every day is a new chance to stop drinking.