I deserve a drink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
I deserve a drink
I deserve a drink because ............you fill in the blank because there are as many reasons as stars in the sky that I (and probably you) could come up with.
A beautiful day, lets have a drink and enjoy. I deserve it.
A horrible day. This is such bull****. I'm pouring a glass of wine to unwind, I deserve it.
An accomplishment. I've earned this! Cheers.
Doing well in sobriety? Let's toast! We deserve it.
If you're anything like me, these little whisperings of insanity may sound familiar to you. If you're anything like me, a drink is far from what is deserved.
As the AV chatters away, we need to be willing to get really down and dirty honest with ourselves because the 1 thing I do not deserve is another drink-ever.
I deserve a DUI with corresponding jail time for how many times I've driven over the legal limit. I deserve to be slapped with child endangerment charges for parenting while drunk. I deserve to be divorced for all the crap I've put my husband through. I deserve to have been fired for calling in "sick" (hungover) so many times. I deserve a malfunctioning liver and all of the fallout that goes with all of the above (legal problems, financial problems, strained/severed relationships, health problems). And yet, somehow by the grace of God, I escaped the grips of alcoholism before any of this happened to me. Best believe that when my AV comes knocking with it's list of bright ideas on what I deserve......I've got my own little reality check ready to recite back to it. Shuts it up right quick and reminds me of all that I have to be grateful for......not getting what I deserve.
A beautiful day, lets have a drink and enjoy. I deserve it.
A horrible day. This is such bull****. I'm pouring a glass of wine to unwind, I deserve it.
An accomplishment. I've earned this! Cheers.
Doing well in sobriety? Let's toast! We deserve it.
If you're anything like me, these little whisperings of insanity may sound familiar to you. If you're anything like me, a drink is far from what is deserved.
As the AV chatters away, we need to be willing to get really down and dirty honest with ourselves because the 1 thing I do not deserve is another drink-ever.
I deserve a DUI with corresponding jail time for how many times I've driven over the legal limit. I deserve to be slapped with child endangerment charges for parenting while drunk. I deserve to be divorced for all the crap I've put my husband through. I deserve to have been fired for calling in "sick" (hungover) so many times. I deserve a malfunctioning liver and all of the fallout that goes with all of the above (legal problems, financial problems, strained/severed relationships, health problems). And yet, somehow by the grace of God, I escaped the grips of alcoholism before any of this happened to me. Best believe that when my AV comes knocking with it's list of bright ideas on what I deserve......I've got my own little reality check ready to recite back to it. Shuts it up right quick and reminds me of all that I have to be grateful for......not getting what I deserve.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,645
This is one of the many reasons I'm committed to Antabuse on top of my new program of recovery.
Those whispers tend to go away when you tell them, "Yes, but a sip of alcohol and we'll be projectile vomiting, have intense pain all over, rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing, sweating, weakness, and an overall medical emergency."
Those whispers tend to go away when you tell them, "Yes, but a sip of alcohol and we'll be projectile vomiting, have intense pain all over, rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing, sweating, weakness, and an overall medical emergency."
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
The "I deserve" thinking can work both ways (the negative and positive mentioned in the OP). Human nature to think this way- yet I don't believe I DESERVE the good or the bad. Because nothing I do can EARN (ie make me deserve) God's grace or the benefits of the program I follow, nothing I do can make me lose them because I don't "deserve" them.
It's choice and action that equate to results, and deserving isn't part of it. Just my way of thinking- this makes sense to me so I don't go into the self-pitying "but I SHOULD [have, get, not have it done to me etc]..." victim thinking I did while drinking, nor the "superior," I've got this figured out, or look what I've DONE here so that equates to [positive result]. It keeps me humble to think this way.
Just my $0.02+.
It's choice and action that equate to results, and deserving isn't part of it. Just my way of thinking- this makes sense to me so I don't go into the self-pitying "but I SHOULD [have, get, not have it done to me etc]..." victim thinking I did while drinking, nor the "superior," I've got this figured out, or look what I've DONE here so that equates to [positive result]. It keeps me humble to think this way.
Just my $0.02+.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Thankfully in sobriety we get recovery and not what we deserve. Clean up,the past as best we can , make amends and try not to repeat the same mistakes. Rolling around in the muck isn't necessarily the best way to get clean.
A daily reprieve and always vigilant, yes.
A daily reprieve and always vigilant, yes.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I could always come up with an excuse to drink, and sometimes there wasn't even one, but simply that I had alcohol in the house, so lets drink it.
The more we challenge the empty promises of alcohol the quicker the true potential of life opens up before our eyes!!
The more we challenge the empty promises of alcohol the quicker the true potential of life opens up before our eyes!!
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