My Recovery Plan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,643
My Recovery Plan
So after yet another relapse, I have decided to stop being a ******* moron. First I will go into the details of the relapse according to bank statements:
6/7/2017 (Wednesday) - I walk to the local grocer and pick up a pint of whiskey. Why? I honestly don't remember. The most "logical" reason I can think of is that my dad was giving me the run around on helping me get a job working with him.
6/8/2017 - 6/12/2017 - I drink all day every day. I order pizza for food. I barely eat. I play video games. I message family stupid ****. I bring up trauma to family members that I have no business bringing up. I drink, and drink, and drink. Constantly staying above 0.20 BAC (estimate). I drive to the local liquor store (LIKE AN IDIOT) and pick up a fifth of vodka. I drink until I pass out. The liquor store trip took place on 6/12.
6/13/2017 - I come to feeling like death (not wake up, but come to). I realize I have 3/4 of the bottle of vodka. I drink it to 1/4 and realize this has to stop because I can no longer stomach it. But I can't stop drinking. So I choke it down. I drink and drink and drink until I can no longer choke it down.
I finally realize, I have no choice but to stop drinking. Come down alone? No way in hell. I need help.
The end of the relapse - Do I drive myself to the hospital? At 0.30? Yeah I don't think so. So I call myself an ambulance. The cops come and pat me down like I'm a criminal (they have to for the safety of all) and find that I have no weapons or contraband. My car keys are inside, not on my person so that's not an issue. They ask me a series of questions and decide I need medical attention. So they call me an ambulance.
My hospital stay - I laid in an ER bed for approximately 30 hours on a mental health hold. I told the doctors that I have suicidal thoughts when I'm drunk. I blew a .265 (to my best recollection) when I was admitted. They stripped me down to hospital scrubs and kept me on lockdown with security outside my room. I was eventually transported to a different hospital with a psych ward. I finished my 72 hour mental health hold at the psych ward and was transported home via taxi.
NOW FOR MY RECOVERY PLAN - THE IMPORTANT PART
1. I'm on Antabuse. Every morning. First thing I do when I wake up is I take one pill and I look myself in the mirror and tell myself today, I will be sober.
2. Therapist - Upon discharge from the psych ward, the first thing I did was get food. The second thing I did was fulfill my obligation to get a mental health evaluation with a local community center to set me up with a therapist. My first appointment is on 6/20/2017. You bet your behind I'll be there.
3. Relapse Prevention - The evaluator also set me up with relapse prevention classes. I start on 6/21/2017. You bet your behind I will be there taking notes.
4. AA/NA meetings. I go to at least one a day even if I'm a liberal, atheist, dirty little commie.
I think I will prefer NA just because of the atmosphere and culture.
5. SR - Constant posting. Simple as that.
6. LIVING A NEW LIFE. This will take time. I need to find employment that pays my $1000 a month student loans. I need to exercise daily. I need to keep reminding myself what relapse means.
I hope this helped someone. There is help out there. YOU can do it. The first few days (or weeks depending on the person and substance) suck monkey balls. I love you all. If you need help, always feel free to personally message me. I am here for you.
Peace and love,
TWTOM
6/7/2017 (Wednesday) - I walk to the local grocer and pick up a pint of whiskey. Why? I honestly don't remember. The most "logical" reason I can think of is that my dad was giving me the run around on helping me get a job working with him.
6/8/2017 - 6/12/2017 - I drink all day every day. I order pizza for food. I barely eat. I play video games. I message family stupid ****. I bring up trauma to family members that I have no business bringing up. I drink, and drink, and drink. Constantly staying above 0.20 BAC (estimate). I drive to the local liquor store (LIKE AN IDIOT) and pick up a fifth of vodka. I drink until I pass out. The liquor store trip took place on 6/12.
6/13/2017 - I come to feeling like death (not wake up, but come to). I realize I have 3/4 of the bottle of vodka. I drink it to 1/4 and realize this has to stop because I can no longer stomach it. But I can't stop drinking. So I choke it down. I drink and drink and drink until I can no longer choke it down.
I finally realize, I have no choice but to stop drinking. Come down alone? No way in hell. I need help.
The end of the relapse - Do I drive myself to the hospital? At 0.30? Yeah I don't think so. So I call myself an ambulance. The cops come and pat me down like I'm a criminal (they have to for the safety of all) and find that I have no weapons or contraband. My car keys are inside, not on my person so that's not an issue. They ask me a series of questions and decide I need medical attention. So they call me an ambulance.
My hospital stay - I laid in an ER bed for approximately 30 hours on a mental health hold. I told the doctors that I have suicidal thoughts when I'm drunk. I blew a .265 (to my best recollection) when I was admitted. They stripped me down to hospital scrubs and kept me on lockdown with security outside my room. I was eventually transported to a different hospital with a psych ward. I finished my 72 hour mental health hold at the psych ward and was transported home via taxi.
NOW FOR MY RECOVERY PLAN - THE IMPORTANT PART
1. I'm on Antabuse. Every morning. First thing I do when I wake up is I take one pill and I look myself in the mirror and tell myself today, I will be sober.
2. Therapist - Upon discharge from the psych ward, the first thing I did was get food. The second thing I did was fulfill my obligation to get a mental health evaluation with a local community center to set me up with a therapist. My first appointment is on 6/20/2017. You bet your behind I'll be there.
3. Relapse Prevention - The evaluator also set me up with relapse prevention classes. I start on 6/21/2017. You bet your behind I will be there taking notes.
4. AA/NA meetings. I go to at least one a day even if I'm a liberal, atheist, dirty little commie.
I think I will prefer NA just because of the atmosphere and culture.5. SR - Constant posting. Simple as that.
6. LIVING A NEW LIFE. This will take time. I need to find employment that pays my $1000 a month student loans. I need to exercise daily. I need to keep reminding myself what relapse means.
I hope this helped someone. There is help out there. YOU can do it. The first few days (or weeks depending on the person and substance) suck monkey balls. I love you all. If you need help, always feel free to personally message me. I am here for you.
Peace and love,
TWTOM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: NC
Posts: 452
Welcome, welcome back! So happy to hear from you - we were so worried after some of your last posts. You went through hell but came out the other side with a plan. Print out that plan and wrap it around your credit card
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
