mandosca

Good morning everyone.. Hoping to get some positive encouragement, I sure need it. Today is my son's Graduation and party. I posted last night about how I felt fairly safe as I have to drive but realized this morning that my husband and I will be taking one car.. therefore​, he can drive. Instantly my head was flooded with thoughts like.. oh I could drink today.. it's a special day, I want to celebrate...maybe I should stop at the liquor store before the party so I have something to drink tonight.. Ugh!!! I'm not worried about getting drunk at the party, I never drink much but anywhere at home but I'm already tellig myself that I deserve this tonight. I raised a wonderful son who is graduating high school, we planned a fabulous party.. I deserve to get a fifth and relax tonight right? So disappointed in myself for even thinking these things.. I'm just about on Day four so vulnerable.. any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.. Thanks everyone, hope you have a fabulous weekend..

Simplicity4114

Hi Mandosca! So glad you posted! You can do this girl! Sober! And you will never regret it! In fact, you'll be proud of yourself for the gift you've given both yourself and your son! Truthfully I've never found a "good time" to quit. There's always a reason around the corner to drink....at least for me there was (upcoming party, out to eat with friends, 1st day of summer, good day, bad day, winter solstice-you get the idea). Dig your heels in and don't let the AV determine your path. There's a reason you've decided to stop drinking.....let that voice prevail. And don't forget to enjoy the occasion! Please check in and stick close!

SparkleKitty

What you, AND your son, really deserve is your full, focused presence at his achievement and celebration. No walls or distance between you and what you helped make happen for him.

Sending strength and patience to help you through this challenge.

Nowsthetime

Don't ruin this amazing occasion with booze.

Your and son and you deserve better.

Did you play the tape?

We are with you!

nova84

Hi mandosca, congratulations on your son's graduation.

Reading your post reminded me of watching a film when you can see the lead character about to do something that is a really bad idea/is gonna put them in harms way/is dangerous and you just want to shout 'No don't do it' at the screen in the hope that they can hear you because you can tell it is not gonna work out well for them. I truly hope that you choose to make this a magic movie moment instead where the audience end up cheering, whooping and clapping.

Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x

PurpleKnight

Celebrate what today is all about, your son graduating, you don't need alcohol to enjoy the day, he didn't put in all that hard work for his parents to not remember this special day by drinking it away, be there for him and celebrate what the day is really about.

Don't beat yourself up for having thoughts, the key is just not following through on them.

You can do this!!

Minxy

Oh I can relate to how you automatically think...."oooh, hubby will drive so I can drink". I always had those kind of thoughts too.

Day 4...way to go! I am on day 27 of a Sober 30 myself.

I have created a FB group called Drunken Angel - Inspiration to empower those struggling with addiction. I invite you (and everyone) to join!

Berrybean

You deserve THIS for doing a good job raising your son...

"... Not only is alcohol changing who thos emotionaly and mentaly but I can also see alot of changes in myself physically. I am constantly fatigued, my face gets very red and blotchy, and three times now I have had severe (I mean like labor severe) pain in my upper abdomen after having drinking the previous night. I am in the medical field but by no means a doctor but im 90% sure that these pains were caused by accute pancreatitis. Not to mention the weight I have put on and just can't seem to lose no matter how few calories I eat. I believe I have really messed up my metabolism. ..."

Really??

We all still get those kind of thoughts from time to time. The thing to remember is that alcohol is not the shiny wonderful reward that our AVs tell us it is. Maybe re-read some of your other old posts and see if that can speak louder to you than your AV. What better way to celebrate your sons achievements by being emotionally present for it? It will be all the more special making it about HIM jnstead of about having a drink. Your conscience is telling you that as well no doubt, otherwise you wouldn't have posted on here.

I hope you will listen to your conscience rather than your AV.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

doggonecarl

Yes, you raised him. But it's not a Look-at-the-wonderful-job-I-did-raising-this-graduate party. It's his graduation party. His party, his achievement. Please don't turn it into a I'm-so-proud-I-deserve-to-get-drunk moment. Your son deserves a proud AND sober mom.