Sam187st

So here's my deal. Im now 35 drinking since before 18. In my early drinking days i used to binge drink in my older brothers bar with my friends and/or customers. It was the good life young and stupid drinking it up. i continued this drinking pattern threw out my life even after that bar was removed from the equation. In my early drinking days i didn't even know what a hang over was even though i would drink passed the point of blackout. But now it is a different story! I think for like the last 3 years ive basicially drank a pint of vodka a night on average even with the off days. I would drink as much as a 750ml bottle and more on some occasions but not less then a pint. Ive believe ive developed some sort if anxiety/panic disorder either from drinking or for some other reason i dont know. But its gotten so bad i quit drinking because i cant tolerate anxiety or a panic attack on top of my hangover it is really interfearing with my life. Im nearly 1 month sober, 27 days to be precise i quit cold turkey and the fear of anxiety and panic consume me! I feel like im going crazy and i fear i wont be normal. Since i stopped drinking i havent had a full blown panic attack but the anxiety level is just so high if it was any higher it would be a panic attack and i would be in the ER The anxiety comes and goes as it wishes. I do crave drinking every now and again but the fear if anxiety really keeps me in check.at this point injust feel lost and hopless. Im a carpenter in nyc so i have to take the trains to various job locations. One of my worst panic attacks happened to me on the train so ever since that time im always afraid of it happening again it makes going to wrok nearly impossible but i have to force me self which just creates more anxiety. Im not sure how many drinkers have delt with anxiety but im curios about the people who have quit drinking and are dealing from anxiety. Any words of advice? Has the anxiety subsided? Why am i so anxious and scared for nothing!

Conquest

Congrats on nearly a month! That's huge work! Have you thought about checking in with your doc regarding the lingering anxiety? It can't hurt. In the meantime, hang out here. There's so much support

Mizzuno

Congrats on your sober time. This is quite the accomplishment.

I have anxiety on and off. When I was drinking, I had anxiety every single day. Way to much worry and way to much concern over trivial things. The anxiety has subsided and I go about my life now in a calmer more collected way.

I cannot say that your anxiety will leave as everybody is different. I can only say that drinking creates more anxiety and its an endless cycle.

There are many tools that you could use:
Deep Breathing
Stay away from caffeine
Exercise
Counseling
Seeing a doctor if the condition is debilitating (sounds like it is)

Also, I dont know how you live in NYC without being anxious? Mass amounts of people, cars, trains, buildings, noise.....I have never been. Coming from a small town girl who has one freeway in and out. One. The 101.

PhoenixJ

My anxiety and depression came back in force when I stopped drinking. Alcohol is a nervous system depressant anyway. I constantly monitor this with a GP, blood tests, using an a-depressant, exercise more, a GOOD diet (not just sugar) meetings, a counsellor and a lot of CBT homework. It works.
Support to you.

least

Anxiety is common during physical withdrawal but usually dissipates with more sober time. If you're still having bad anxiety after, say, another month sober, I'd see the doctor. Lots of ways to deal with anxiety without taking benzos.

I'm on an antiD that helps with anxiety, so that helps a lot. I started feeling a lot better at around 4 to 6 months sober.

Congrats on 27 days sober and welcome to the family.

Berrybean

Yes. At a month in I felt like I was going crazy. I even went along to an AA meeting in the hope that they'd confirm that my problem wasn't alcohol after all, but anxiety. They did not confirm what I hoped they would. They told me that's pretty normal, and that alcohol has been my relief from the world before. That in sobriety, if I worked on my recovery, I could learn how to deal with life on life's terms, without that crushing and heart squeezing anxiety consuming me. I continued going to the meetings because these people as they talked seemed to understand me and how I drank, and how I thought and felt (a first for me!) It took me a while to actually DO any of the things that were suggested to me as far as working on my recovery though so I prolonged the pain a little. But once I actually DID start doing what was suggested for the 12-step program and on here, then my alcoholic thinking started to lose its grip on me and I was able to function better and better.

Anyway. I'd (obviously) suggest trying some of your local AA meetings, and maybe even some of the lunchtime ones where you're working as a midday meeting can really help move past any stress from the morning and start the afternoon from a calm place.
Also Dee has a great thread on here about making a plan for recovery. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

Basically the alcoholic drinking is just a symptom of our alcoholic thinking. Stopping the drinking is just the beginning of the journey to recovery. It's painful and necessary, but not the whole deal. It's our alcoholic way of looking at life and dealing with it that makes us restless, irritable and discontent with life, other people and ourselves. Recovery can gift us an altered perspective that helps us to know peace and feel some tranquility.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Gottalife

Heart squeezing anxiety is a term I can relate to. I called it fear, and it was a big part of my existence whenever I stopped drinking on my own, without taking any other action. It didn't dissipate. It got worse as time went on and I would eventually drink again. It was the only way I knew to have a good time, and that was all I wanted.

I didn't like sobriety for that reason. It was mostly horrible. Eventually, I made the same discovery that Berrybean talked about above. Stopping drinking and taking action in AA to change my reaction to life, did deal to the anxiety and a whole lot more besides. I have never needed to drink since.

Sam187st

Yea for for sure i mostly just think about things and not actually act. I dont have insureance and im limited in what can be spent for doctors i have a wife and 2 kids cant blow my money on doctors. But at this point i feel i have no choice and have to see some kind of professional.

Sam187st

Yea being in nyc doesn help the trains are packed, traffic all the time. Im forced to face these things to get to work, but the anxiety it creates is really counter productive for me i think. I usually get a lot of exercise at work. Im not sure if i should be exercising more. Also i did stop the coffee i quit it qith the alcohol but honestly i crave coffee so bad i cheat!! Im having a cup of decafe now with 1/4 spoon of regular coffee. Ive been looking into the deep breathing or "belly breathing" but im not doing well with it and i find it difficult especially while im on the train and fighting off a panic attack.

Berrybean

Well, AA is completely free and I bet there are meetings happening right near you that you never even knew about. Your first meeting is only a Google search away.

BB

http://aacny.org/wordpress/

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Sam!!

Sam187st

Yea i can relate to just about everything you said. This is my second attemt at stopping. The 1st time i stopped was after a massive panic and crazy anxiety after drinking like like a fish im not sure how long i went maybe 3 weeks tops and i think that was more like a break i dont think i had an iintention to stop for good. This is the longeat ive went without alcohol and im kind of heart broken for lack of a better term that the anxiety has not yet subsided.