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New. Tired of thinking I can drink

Old 06-16-2017, 07:18 PM
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New. Tired of thinking I can drink

I kind of love how alcoholics think. Man it's a bunch of work being one. Here's my awesome thinking that I actually live and also lived by. I won't bore you with knowing when every thing closes and get your booze from different places so they won't know (they know).Thats entry level.
My number 1) hide or turn off your phone. I do that 95% of the time. The other 5% results in embarrassment. Don't use your phone.
2. white wine doesn't count. It actually does when you've scoffed a bottle of red after and a few shots. Friends wondering why you're so wasted.
3. Your fellow alcoholic friends are just as ****** as you. Don't worry if you lose them. They'll lose you happily. Quitting makes them feel bad.
4. Alcoholics are often cool smart people. Usually damaged. Never completely give up on them. But understand them. They lie.
5. Try not to do drugs especially cocaine which is the peanut butter and jelly of alcohol. You won't eat. You'll drink twice as much. Next day is horrible. Also confusing because you were convinced you could save the world. Awful.
6. Alcoholics lie. Nuff said
7. You'll eventually lose your driving license. Don't **** me. Of course you drive 'impaired". See rule 6
8. Even weekends in jail suck. Trust me. It's a whole lot of hate. And you have about as much street cred as a crooked accountant.
9. You will cross that line from functioning to non. It's an ugly place and is completely unpredictable when it happens. 2 years? 40?
10. Your work might suck but calling in sick after drinking a Mickey of vodka when you woke up isn't because you didn't get a raise. They WILL though eventually fire your unreliable alcoholic self.
11. Don't make fun of this line. You drink the bottle. Then the bottle drinks you. It does. Alcohol is a cruel mistress when you are an alcoholic.
12. You'll get fat. Really fat. Or weirdly skinny with a very non sexy little beer belly. Either way you'll look like ****.
13. Try AA. It's a good program. Not for all but most. Just give it a try.
14. You'll hurt your family. Believe me they know. They just either love you or are so dysfunctional and embarrassed by your behaviour they protect you. Either way you're the *******.
15. No one thinks a drunk is sexy ( for the youngsters) and bad things happen to passed out girls.


Unfortunately I'm not giving you this information as a recovered person. But I'm going to try again. Never give up. It's a ****** disease. Anyone willing to help?
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Old 06-16-2017, 08:45 PM
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Welcome

thats a pretty good list of alcoholic thinking and tips.

It's good you're self aware about that...but...so what keeps you drinking 161261?

D
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Old 06-16-2017, 08:54 PM
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Keep trying! And if you're open to, watch this quick video. It is inspiring to me. Best wishes your way tonight!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1l-47znF1IE
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Old 06-16-2017, 09:13 PM
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Sounds like you know the ugly routine. I hope you are ready for sobriety. It feels good!
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Old 06-16-2017, 09:14 PM
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I guess because I can stop for months at a time. But when I'm actively drinking it's alcoholicly if that's even a word. I guess because I'm able stop for periods of time I think I'm ok and next time will be different. It is. For a few days.
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Old 06-16-2017, 09:26 PM
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I learned the hard way moderation doesn't work. I have almost a year and a half sober, and life has been so much better. There have been some difficult situations to deal with over the past year and a half, but I did it with a clear and sober head.
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Old 06-16-2017, 10:19 PM
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I never went to jail. BUT I very nearly burnt myself to death..it took that to get me to stop. Use your list to play the tape forward. Predict 'the morning after' and what will happen in another 100 mornings. Support to you.
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Old 06-16-2017, 11:02 PM
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That's a good list 161261. Very honest and true.

Like you, I could stay sober for weeks, even months but every time I did start drinking again, I would always drink alcoholically (I think that is a word. My computer hasn't underlined it in red so it must be a word. And even if it isn't a word, it's definitely a thing. Drinking repeatedly until you pass out is definitely a thing).

This time, I've been sober for 7.5 months and it feels very different because I know for certain that I'm only one drink away from everything crashing down. It's kind of comforting finally accepting that. I don't have any negotiations or debates inside my own head anymore. I've made the decision and I'm sticking to it. It makes life much easier once you accept you can never drink again. After that, you just got to take it one day at a time. And the way my life is now, there's no way I'm ever going back to drinking. Life is becoming awesome.

This place has really helped me stay sober for so long. Please stick around and use support from others to help you this time around. With your honest style of writing, you'd be helping countless others too. Good luck 161261. Make this time different from all the other times.
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Old 06-17-2017, 12:52 AM
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I didn't go to jail, but I gained weight and hovered from semi-functional to non-functional.
I honestly thought I was going to die. It was weird because I just accepted it and really didn't know what to do about it.
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Old 06-17-2017, 02:55 AM
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Welcome 161261,

Sounds like you know how to get sober. So do it. Then work on your sobriety.

If you want to be recovered you have to surrender to the fact that booze can't be in your body.

Then you have to get spiritually fit. Basically, you have to come to terms with who you are as a person and love yourself. It takes time sober and a lot of work. And when you do it, you will have a wonderful fulfilled life.

Good luck and many prayers.
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Old 06-17-2017, 07:12 AM
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Welcome to the Forum!!
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Old 06-17-2017, 08:34 AM
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SO many times I've quit and thought I could control my drinking, moderate...after I had been sober for a while. The first time I quit drinking, I thought I would experiment...just see if I could drink again...maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was. We all know how that turned out. It was years before I got sober again. Still, after some time...I began thinking the same...I'll just have a glass of wine with dinner, or I'll just have one and get back on the wagon tomorrow.

I've spent nights in jail...OMG, how demoralizing. If anyone who knows me were to see me in such a state, they'd be shocked! I shocked myself! Did it stop me from drinking? For a while...but I continued to go right back down the rabbit whole until I accepted that I have no control over my decisions and behavior when I drink. If I drink, I am powerless.

I am SO grateful to have found my way out of the darkness again.
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