Dating an addict
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
Dating an addict
Hi, so I was dating an addict for 6 months and unfortunately he relapsed when we were in Vegas. He then became really depressed and said he needed a break a week later. I know I was an enabler but I expressed how I am willing to sacrifice anything to support him. My question is, should I wait for him to contact me or do I check up on him and offer support after some time has passed? Also do you think he actually just wanted to break up but was trying to be nice?
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome,cookies.
" I know I was an enabler but I expressed how I am willing to sacrifice anything to support him."
you know youre an enabler( and prolly a codie) but.....
should you contact him.
do you want to get dragged down with him?
" I know I was an enabler but I expressed how I am willing to sacrifice anything to support him."
you know youre an enabler( and prolly a codie) but.....
should you contact him.
do you want to get dragged down with him?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi,cookiesandmilk. Welcome to SR. Glad you found us.
I would say that you have gotten a great gift: life without an addict in it.
This is a great time to take care of yourself and to try to figure out why you were willing to tie your life to an addict who has relapsed.
There is lots of good info on this site about enabling and co dependent behaviors.
They are called stickies and are posted at the top of the main menu.
Good luck.
Peace.
I would say that you have gotten a great gift: life without an addict in it.
This is a great time to take care of yourself and to try to figure out why you were willing to tie your life to an addict who has relapsed.
There is lots of good info on this site about enabling and co dependent behaviors.
They are called stickies and are posted at the top of the main menu.
Good luck.
Peace.
Last edited by Maudcat; 06-15-2017 at 05:57 PM. Reason: Missing words
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
I would take him for his word, cookies, and move on.
It may seem romantic and noble to "sacrifice everything" for another person, but it's not terribly healthy when that person is perfectly calable of taking care of themselves.
It may seem romantic and noble to "sacrifice everything" for another person, but it's not terribly healthy when that person is perfectly calable of taking care of themselves.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
This is what “dating” is all about, getting to know one another and discovering things about each other then have the ability to let go if we do not fit into someone else’s world. You do not fit into his world of addiction; it is not a healthy match for you, time to let this “dating” experience go.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
Oh the Red Flags......
willing to sacrifice anything to support him
that's quite the PROMISE for someone you've only been dating for half a year and that you know is an active addict.
should I wait for him to contact me or do I check up on him and offer support after some time has passed?
in either of the above scenarios, you are basing your actions and future on what someone else may or may not do. and you are ignoring the point of him saying he wanted A BREAK. he didn't say, wait two weeks, then check up on me.
we are here to support you.....and you seemed to have fallen down the rabbit hole chasing after the addict pretty quickly. that is more concerning than him relapsing.
willing to sacrifice anything to support him
that's quite the PROMISE for someone you've only been dating for half a year and that you know is an active addict.
should I wait for him to contact me or do I check up on him and offer support after some time has passed?
in either of the above scenarios, you are basing your actions and future on what someone else may or may not do. and you are ignoring the point of him saying he wanted A BREAK. he didn't say, wait two weeks, then check up on me.
we are here to support you.....and you seemed to have fallen down the rabbit hole chasing after the addict pretty quickly. that is more concerning than him relapsing.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
?
What's a "codie"
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
welcome,cookies.
" I know I was an enabler but I expressed how I am willing to sacrifice anything to support him."
you know youre an enabler( and prolly a codie) but.....
should you contact him.
do you want to get dragged down with him?
" I know I was an enabler but I expressed how I am willing to sacrifice anything to support him."
you know youre an enabler( and prolly a codie) but.....
should you contact him.
do you want to get dragged down with him?
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