jellybean80

I've been doing well I think, 34 days sober, starting to make new routines, building a better relationship with husband and children. I don't crave alcohol right now. My dad was in from out of state and had beer and I was just sipping on club soda. Now wine was my poison and maybe had he been sipping a red I'd be triggered. Although I've been comfortable in my own skin for the most part , I think about the fact that I'm refraining from drinking like 50 times a day. At what point did anyone start to live their life without thinking about the fact you are not drinking? I picture a time where it's been a week or month and someone reminds me "hey remember when you used to be a drunk". Lol. I know this seems like wishful thinking but I wish I could erase my poor brain.

SoberLifeForMe

My last drink was 135 days ago (just had to do the math). I'm done with IOP in just over three weeks. I'd say it took me about 5-6 weeks before that constant thought left my mind. Believe me, it's a great feeling when you finally realize you don't think about it constantly.

Ironically, the most I think about drinking is when I'm at IOP. I rarely even glance at the sign on the liquor store I pass by multiple times a day. The last time I did, the thought of the booze they were advertising made me just feel sick.

Hang in there. It really does get better. The longer you go, the more normal life without alcohol becomes. I have a very long way to go, but if these first 4 1/2 months are any indicator, I can't wait to see what the future brings.

tealily

Congrats on 34 days!

I wonder the same thing, Jellybean. I'm also a former wine-drinking wife and mom.

I'm at almost 3 weeks, and I think about not drinking all the time too. When I'm making myself hot tea at night (not pouring wine), when I'm in the grocery store (not buying wine), when I'm in a restaurant asking for tea or seltzer (not ordering wine). It does get pretty exhausting. I'm always thinking "I don't drink", "I'm not drinking anymore." It'll be a relief when that constant voice stops.

I was a mostly secret drinker for the last few years, and just tonight I found a juice glass in our attic storage from a month or so ago, left from when I'd been sneaking wine while organizing. Ridiculous. What a way to live. I'm so grateful to not be hiding anymore, but it will also be nice when it's not at the forefront of my consciousness too.

Guess it must take a while to rewire the wine habit circuits. It shows how deeply entangled they were. Hang in there! So glad you are doing so well. Way to go!

resolute50

Congrats on 34 days. I would say you really never stop thinking about it. But, you will not crave it or want it,in time.
Next month will be 4 years for me. I stopped obsessing at about 6 months.
Always be on guard for a slip up.

August252015

Pretty much right away. I was just DONE. Everything about my thoughts and new life had to be different. Thoughts that might creep in about "when I drank" get brushed aside quickly. They're pretty rare, at that.

JK130

At a bit over 2 years sober, I don't crave alcohol, but it took a long time to get past my triggers and not think about drinking. Sometimes still, when life is a bit overwhelming, I "romanticize" the taste and feel of alcohol. Then I make myself deliberately remember how bad it was. Nothing is better drunk. Nothing. Not my health. Not my job. Not my relationships. Not my finances. Not my feelings about myself and ability to take care of myself. Not others feelings about me. Not my safety.

Lol. I got all ranty! Anyway, Carry on, Jellybean. It won't always be easy to stay sober, but you've come so far already, and never have to relive the very hardest first days again!

Acheleus

At a year and a half sober I felt liberated from the mental obsession. AA meetings now remind of the negative consequences associated with drinking. It takes time for us to heal, and I think alcoholics can be impatient, so we have to learn to let go and trust that sobriety will improve our mental health. Thinking about drinking is something alcoholics do, and people in meetings told me not to beat myself up for thinking about alcohol. I hope you continue to heal and grow. Thanks for posting.

PhoenixJ

I am coming up to 17 months sober. I do not 'think' of drinking consciously, but the reminders are there. Today for example is a public holiday here (Queen). I know exactly where my ex is. The parent's house- pig on the spit left overs from yesterday. Cold salad- plus the whiskey she likes from her dad (she is NOT an alcie). Then for the boozers- beers and home distilled fire water. I would encourage us all to get there early. Have some f/water chasers to get the buzz. Then beer- and a fire water and coke. That way you see, being so incredibly clever no one would know it was 90% spirit. Then after feeding my face- I would drink until I 'was so full' I would have to go and have a sleep. I do not think I will ever stop thinking about the CONSEQUENCES of where drinking takes me- the final chapter.

Dee74

I drank for 20 years so it took a little longer than 30 days for me to lose the obsessional thinking about my next drink.

You will tho - give it a little time jellybean

D

DesertDawg

For me, at a certain point, after being separated from the "high" of booze for a while, I sort of physiologically "forgot" how it felt, and reason and logic were able to replace cravings and thoughts of drinking. I still stay focused on my recovery but instead of thinking about drinking, my thoughts are focused on how badly I can mess up my life if I were to start drinking again, and how horrible the withdrawals felt. I know longer have any positive subconscious associations with alscohol.

Maybe you never stop thinking about it...that's not so bad as long as the thoughts are about how harmful it is and how close you came to fouling up your life by drinking.

Lascaux

Excellent thread, jeyybean80 and great point, DesertDawg! I've made a jounal of some of the bad things I don't want to forget, just so I have them as a reminder if I ever get telling myself "it wasn't so bad".
It's interesting to see so much variation in folk's responses of how long it took to stop thinking about alcohol...

tomsteve

the mental obsession took T.I.M.E. to leave. it was about 6 months before i made a full day without even thinkin about a drink.

least

Between six months to a year, I noticed I wasn't thinking about drinking all the time. Now, at seven years, I rarely think about it, and if I do, the thoughts are easily dismissed.

U75

It has been nearly a year for me, and I'd say it took 6-7 months to stop thinking about drinking as an object of fear--fear I might slip; fear of social situations; etc. Nowadays, when I think about drinking it is to compare how much better life and activities are now, compared to then.

Mizzuno

I do not think of drinking. I think of the black out I had during my last drinking episode. I think of it constantly. Every single day. Multiple times a day.

I am working on forgiveness and letting that episode be what it was; something I clearly dont remember and something that I wish never happened.

So, I too, wonder when I will stop thinking of this and move on with my life. 3 months on the 18th.

Keep moving forward and keep your head up. It gets easier. It gets better.

Hevyn

Hi Jellybean. I wish I could remember when I stopped being obsessed with 'drinking/not drinking' but I can't. In the beginning it was on my mind constantly. One day I realized drinking hadn't crossed my mind in a very long time. Early on, I was so afraid life would be miserable & boring without it - even though it had brought me so much pain & misery. Once I was convinced it had no place in my life, I felt less anxious & more excited for the future.

Congratulations on your 34 sober days.

hellrzr

After Steps 4 and 5 for me. The obsession was lifted pretty quickly after completing those.

newpage119

Hi Jellybean,
I remember wondering the same thing in my early days....I thought I would lose my mind if I had to keep obsessing about drinking/not drinking for the rest of my life! Eventually the constant thinking did fade away, and it was probably around a year....

About the same time my thinking changed from "poor me, I can't drink" to "WOW I am so lucky to be sober", and that was a real game changer!

After 2 1/ 2 years or so, I feel so lucky to have escaped and am in awe of how much better life has become.
So, push your way through, do what you need to do---- it is so worth it, and eventually the thoughts will fade to barely noticeable little blips!

SimplyFree

It was great to read the posts here, im near 60 days, but the last few days there has been a lot of "thinking" about how good the wine would taste. I remain on guard, but the thoughts are wearing. So thanks, these posts were a great encouragement!

Bunny211

Around 8 months sober I had an aha moment, and I knew I would never drink again and would be okay with that.

The cravings diminished over time. I hardly ever think about taking a drink now, at 2+ years into sobriety.