Londonxo

Hi there,

This is my first post. I am a 30 year old woman who has had a testing last 10 years of my life, not only would I drink at every given opportunity (daily, starting as early at 10am if i could - anywhere between 8-20 standard drinks a day) i would also take around 15 - 20 paracetamol/15mg codiene a day or id switch it up and take ibuprofen/codiene. If i tried to stop I would have horror sweats, cravings and get violently sick from codiene withdrawel. My hangovers would last for days so i woulllld just back up the last one. If i had a day alcohol free i would be craving a drink first thing next morning.

Three weeks ago i had liver failure and almost lost my life. I had paracetamol poisoning so severe that they told me i wouldnt make it. I had cut down to around 10 a day but i had been drinking alot more then usual due to stress so i think that didnt help.

In hospital i was put on oxycodone to cope with the pain as the liver antidote made me violently ill. I lied and said i never drink. The oxy kept me sleepy and i didnt experience any alcohol withdrawel symptoms, however i was so violently ill I don't know if they were hiding in there somewhere..

Once i was released i bought immodiam and stomach cramp pills. I flushed the oxy they gave me to take home. With the odd headache ive been taking nurofen responsibly as it is processed through the kidneys not my liver. First four days i didnt sleep from horrendous reckless legs syndrome. Since then - nothing!

I am so amazed that i am withdrawing from two addictions with what appears to be this seamless, im waiting for some crazy withdrawel experience to pop out from behind the door and swallow me hole and nothing has happened. I dont have a support network as i am divorced, single and have hidden both addictions for 10 years, however i stared death straight in the face at my young age and it was more scary and painful then my divorce. To have the head neurosurgeon tell you while your vomiting, hallucinating and convulsing that you probably won't make it.. changed my life.

I have been informed that my liver is very severly damaged but should make an ok recovery as long as I dont touch penadol,alcohol or anything related for atleast 12 months. Its made me realise that so much of my inability to quit in the past was psychological. It took me to almost die and be forced to come clean to realise its not as bad as I thought it would be, and its easier then I realised. I don't have any alcohol cravings at all, one time today while I was walking through the city i thought of codiene and shut it down immediatly. I will say though, i work for myself so lack of sleep could be accommodated for by working shorter hours or in the afternoon as i wasnt able to fall asleep until 4am in those first five nights off codiene/oxy.

I just want to share some great things that have happened during this 3 weeks:

- I no longer have to wash my hair everyday as it isnt oily.
- Ive lost 7kg but I cant stop eating chocolate, im still losing weight and am down to 60kg
- my face is not bloated and neither is my stomach
- waking up without a hangover is fabulous
- my skin and pores are smoother and smaller
- my eyes are clear
- My house is clean, i didnt realise how revolting it was and I classify myself as a clean person!
- Able to spend money on me, and not on booze or another chemist trip, ive been shopping, had my nails and eyelashes done, it makes me feel good!
- im getting checked out when i go for walks. That hasnt happened in years
- I remember things now, i can actually remember conversations ive had with others. i literally have no recollection of what the f ive been doing for the past 3 years, its literally a blur. I used to wake up and not remember anything about the day before.
- it's made me feel empowered

Negatives:
- If i didnt have the flexibility with work I would have been a mess
-Falling asleep is hard
- im so tired and ready for bed at 7pm. i used to be able to work late in to the evening.
- i cant stop eating
- If i get up too quickly my head spins
- my social life sucks
- i am drinking way too much coffee

I apologise for the rant but I wanted to say hello and share my experience. I have recieved tremendous help from reading these forums for the past few weeks. I would love to hear if anyone has experienced the above positives and what else you have noticed that has changed physically and emotionally on your path to recovery.

X London

CaseyW

Glad you've joined us and congrats on 3 weeks sober, Londonxo! Hope you'll post often and take this second chance at a clean, sober life and run with it.

tealily

Wow Londonxo, what a story! I'm so happy for you that you've made this change. It's amazing how our bodies can heal. Good for you for turning this corner and making such a difference in your life, and at such a young age.

I too am about 2 1/2 weeks with no alcohol and am seeing the same sort of changes you are. No more bloated stomach, clearer skin and eyes, waking up feeling amazing (though having trouble getting to sleep, but I know that will get better). I also am eating chocolate every night but still have a flatter stomach.

Mostly I'm incredibly grateful to be "present" and remembering everything now in my interactions with my family and am hopeful and excited about the times ahead, instead of being filled with shame, regret and misery, in an endless cycle.

So happy for you. I hope you will keep posting and please let us know how you are doing. Way to go!

saoutchik

Firstly congratulations on 3 weeks Londonxo.

I am really glad that so far you have not had any bad withdrawal symptoms or cravings, I would however have a plan in place for when and if you do have cravings - my guess is that it is likely that you will get them for alcohol at least (I have no experience of pain killer addiction).

Also do you have any schedule for outpatient or rehab visits? It might be an idea to get some extra support through this if you possibly can.

Londonxo

Thank you so much this forum has been incredibly helpful! Got to love google search, I would be mindless without it!

D122y

London,

I quit drinking at 27 for 8 months...it was so easy I decided to start again...fast forward 23 years....quitting was a living hell that left me physically and mentally flat blasted.

We are not designed to ingest neurotoxins. Don't believe the hype.

Stay clean and live life as God intended.

Thanks.

Londonxo

Congratulations 💪💪💪💪💪!!! How long have you been addicted? I am so proud of how far you have come! I apologise for the awful grammer and spelling as I typed that post with one eye open at midnight last night

I have been taking 2 x swisse SLEEP an hour before bed for the past 4 nights, it has been knocking me out cold and I have been having the deepest sleep. When I wasn't taking them I was restless and wide awake for at least an hour or more. I also REALLY recommend "Jason Stephenson" and "Michael Sealey" guided sleep meditations on YouTube. Michael waffles on a little too much for my liking but the guided stories take your mind of the irritability and help with relaxing your overactive mind.

I have never been a 'sweets' person so I don't understand why I am eating so much chocolate. I literally cannot stop myself. Chocolate and ice cream are my biggest weakness right now. I am also always sneezing now, I don't know if that's related!

Congratulations again and stay strong! You need to get some of these swisse sleep vitamins. Absolute life savers!! Xo

Londonxo

Thank you kindly for the well wishes Whilst I was in hospital a health specialist came and saw me about an anonymous government funded health centre that is walking distance from my place (I live in a capital city right in the CBD) they specialise in councilling, workshops, yoga and so forth helping people overcome addiction and health problems. I am considering going down and having a look at what they offer as it seems like a really great idea to keep myself strong.

Xo

Dee74

I'm really glad you've survived all that and now youve joined us London

D

PhoenixJ

Yep- me too...unsure of how far the liver damage was- BUT I used to buy so much OTC codeine products (mostly aspririn- 'cos I knew panadol is dangerous in large does- what a champion!) and antihistamines I was taken aside by a pharmacist once and warned I would die. I chemist hopped to avoid being noticed- but was noticed. At first it was to get rid of hangovers- then it was for the alcohol- drug high. Very dangerous- also with unpredictable emotional changes. I would suggest in the future just being completely honest with telling the docs about your drinking. They are not stupid and probably worked it out in about 3 seconds. The honesty factor is so important for us to do. That was a main reason I did not get support for so many years. Like regular counselling and meetings. I could not do it alone- for any length of time with out drinking again- or taking codeine again, in larger amounts. If asked do I have any allergies now? I say codeine. No explanations needed. I am allergic- it is addictive. A good post and so well done. Support to you.