CapitalJ

I cant do this anymore! The guilt, shame, fear, self loathing, blurred mind, anxiety. This is day 2 sober. Im at work which is painful but at least Im here. I cant keep fooling myself thinking I can drink, I cant! One beer becomes a bender. So many plans and commitments out the window. Another wasted weekend. Never again, i hope.

doggonecarl

Do you have a plan to support that? Are you willing to make the changes you need to make to ensure you never drink again?

Here's one change you can make, a pretty easy one. Post daily to SR. Because posting only after you drink, feeling horrible and vowing to never drink again, isn't working. If you are going to use SR, really use it. And think about adding face to face support to your recovery.

ScottFromWI

Hope won't get you sober unfortunately -but action will. Glad you came back - what do you think you can do to keep your plans "in the window" next time? Do you follow a structured sobriety plan of any kind? We can definitely help you there if you are looking for a new way of living your life.

CapitalJ

I am going to go back to meetings. I am 30 next week and dont want to continue like this. I have been heavy drinking for 15 years now and I feel enough is enough. Im just sick of it. I have been feeling like that for a while. Usually when i have tried quitting in the past it has been a reaction to me do doing something really stupid or hurting someone or myself, but this time there was no major incident. I just dont enjoy any part of it anymore. I feel as though I am drinking to make other people happy, but then they leave and I am left alone and back in the bender zone. Its scary to think ill never drink again but it feels more scary to think ill never stop. Maybe i should just think in the short term for now and go one day at a time.

gregknight

I have less than a year of sober time but I would try and formulate a long term plan of sobriety, rather than just one day after the next. Sobriety is one day at a time, but as most here will tell you, it's best tackled with a plan in place and gathering whatever help and support you can. AA, a sponsor, posting daily here, etc. Whatever it takes. Otherwise one tends to do the sober/drunk/sober again, cycle which gets you nowhere. My best to you!

PhoenixJ

welcome.

kel08

great you are back, but I have to agree, coming here BEFORE I drink has done more for me than when I came back after. Ive had a tough few days abstaining and each night I have logged on here, and ive chatted and ive gone to bed sober.

Last night was a real close call, but I came on here, made myself some food, settled down and read and read and read. I read so many day 1 stories to remind myself that's exactly where I didn't want to be again and it worked. I cant get to meetings as am a single parent, so this works very well. I woke up clear headed and so grateful for what the people on this site do for each other. Its a fantastic resource if you use it correctly, and that means when your AV is beginning to act up. Give it a try this way around, your way isn't working right now, so what do you have to lose? good luck

thomas11

Hi Capital J, something you said really strikes a chord with me. You said "your sick of it". For many, myself included, that was a pretty major factor in quitting. I got really tired of recuperating, and it simply wasn't worth it. I hope you find the strength for long term sobriety. I assure you if you keep drinking, it does not "get better". But you already know that I'm sure.

nova84

Hi CapitalJ

"I cant do this anymore! The guilt, shame, fear, self loathing, blurred mind, anxiety."

These were the exact same reasons I embraced sobriety 7 days ago. Here's to neither of us having to experience these emotions ever again as a result of drinking 💜