Breaking up and No contact
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1
Breaking up and No contact
I just want to start off by stating a little about our history. I just typed out this entire thing, and I accidentally deleted the entire thing lol. Ill do my best to remember and I apologize ahead of time if this is long.
So me and... Lets just call her Tasha have known each other for the better part of 7 years. We met when I was 13 and she was 15. We met in an outdoor military thing that we both we enrolled in. We became very close right away and would talk to each other periodically over the next few years. We stayed close and even if a year went by we always would get back in touch no matter what life threw at us. We would tell each other every thing and have always been super open with other.. Very transparent. When she was 19 and I was 16 we first had sex with each other. We were only friends but it was the first time we did anything or flirted. It didn't spark into anything after that but it still mattered because we meant a lot to each other.
From that time on we were best friends/friends with benefits and even though that's rare, it felt right and never got in the way with anything. We dated other people and still stayed super close. A couple years after that incident she came down and visited me from where she was living. It always was a REALLY great time seeing each other and we always would talk each other's ears off again and again. We weren't anything more at this point, but I'm sure from an outsiders point of view it was obvious we at least liked each other. We were physical that time she came down but we both knew she had to go. We were living different lives at this point and were too far away to see each other in person much. Fast forward to a year maybe two years later... She and I didn't speak this whole time and it was during this time where we started developing feeling for another. She was up in Spokane and I was down in Tacoma, a good 5 hour drive from each other. She found me on Facebook and we immediately were in joy hearing from each other. We hit it off like never before and agreed that we didn't want to be strangers anymore, that we were going to get back into each other's lives this time for good. During the time she lived up there she did have a kid with guy who she was with but they were split up for more than a year. She ended things and there wasn't anything between them romantically. We talked for a few weeks like this until she came down to where I lived to move in at her Moms place. She came down for a couple reasons but mostly to see me and so we could start spending time with each other.
We both were ecstatic when she came down and we had a long talk on person and everything came spilling out about our feelings that we had for each other. She told me that she wanted me and I told her the same... We wanted to go all the way this time and get into an actual serious relationship with each other. It was quite beautiful, with our mind a being in sync wanting the same thing. Things went like this for awhile and I'm aware of what they call the "honeymoon" phase. But this was different because we actually knew each other and had a huge history together. We were super, super open about everything with each other and were genuine about everything. We were in this relationship for about 4 plus months... And we had a really great time together, a healthy relationship, no fights, and a great deal of respect and care for another's feelings... We were able to see things from the other persons perspective.
Nothing unhealthy was happening at this point... We weren't in the best living conditions but nothing to complain about... I will add real quick that there was drugs involved with her but she had a lot of self control and didn't let that take over her or ruin her loving character. Just wanted to add that in for infos sake. After those months together... No attraction was lost at the end.. The feelings were still there. But one day I get a message that "we need to talk". I never even GUESSED or even suspected that it would be regarding us breaking up. But it got a little tricky because of the factors involved.
She didn't even want to break up with me... I could even tell how she seemed in person when we talked that day. Sure, it hurt to hurt someone you love by leaving them. Her baby daddy came back into the picture and she was trying to work with him so she could be apart of the kids life again. I know that she seemed genuinely hurt herself doing the breakup. I find out later that she didn't want to at all but told me she needed to, not wanted to, for her kid's sake. She was trying to do what was best for her son and thought the best way was for her son to have both parents in it's life. She didn't want to drag me into the picture so she thought shed break it off instead of putting me in the middle. I knew deep down inside we weren't really over and during this time I prayed and hoped everyday that we would get together again. I knew deep down inside that she would come around again and come back. After the breakup we still would talk and she would message me when she could. We didn't want to be out of each other's lives for good... And so we talked about once a week or so. This went on for almost two months. (This past January and February) She didn't want her baby daddy finding out about this whole thing that she was still in love with me... And missed us together. I didn't know at that time that she still wanted us back because she didn't want to lead me on and tell me things to get my hopes up of us getting back together again.
After weeks went by like this she finally broke through and told me she was still in love with me and wanted to get me back so badly. She told me she made a huge mistake and regretted the whole thing. She also said she didn't expect me to take her back.... That shed love me from a distance always, and at least was hoping for forgiveness. I told her that I wanted us back to...we never stopped loving each other and I was willing to meet her halfway and work anything out between us. After talking about it for a couple weeks we decided to see each other in person. And I have to say it was honestly one of the best days of my life. It was SO nice seeing her again... I was so happy and I knew that if we came back together than it was something true. The passion was right there where we left off. I believed there was something there that was meant to be and our love was strong enough to get through that hardship and remain.
We started back up again but see this is where things start to get a little messy.... Things between us were actually really good. We were loving towards each other but she was at a very low point in her life. Her son was taken away that week which was very devastating. She fell into deep depression and it started taking its toll on her. It was hard to spend quality time with her because she slept a lot.... And it was so hard for her to be happy during this time. I tried to be understanding and support her through it. This went on for about 4 weeks like this... She still was treating me like I meant everything to her but her head space wasn't where it needed to be. We talked like this until she finally made up her mind that she needed help.. It was to get her son some back into her life. And to go to rehab to get help. She had to make a quick decision and we still stayed strong through it... It was hard for me because I was battling not being selfish. I was still grieving over our break up and the pain it caused.. But I tried to focus on her and her situation. She got into rehab in California that week and during this time we tried our best to stay in contact. As you may know, in rehab they have very strict communication rules so conversations were only 5 min or so each day.
Post break up, I was struggling with seeing her depressed and not making it all about me. I almost had to put us "on hold" during this time...I wanted to talk about us but she was going through so much. Another thing I know I was at fault was I tried to "play hard to get" a little bit... And even though we both really wanted to get back together I was trying to take it real slow to guard myself. During her time in rehab I had to again, not make it about me and not give her any unneeded stress while she was on there. This is a time for her to heal and get treatment. Overall we still talked well, but since of her stress and me stressing we did have some fight....which is unusual for us I must say. Nothing too severe, no name calling, but nothing that did either of us any good.
While she was in there her last week I find out she was going to be living in sober living when she got out of rehab. Great news! I was really happy that she got into it. She made her usual call that day and told me that and we talked about me coming up and visiting her. After that phone call, I didn't hear from her for a good 3-4 days.... I didn't think too much of it thinking she was busy getting out. Later that weekend I saw on Facebook that she got into sober living and I saw she was online and tried giving her a couple calls on the App. She didnt answer and then when I checked her profile a couple days later, I saw that I was blocked. And other social media like Snapchat she unfriended me on. She hasn't reached out to me for over 2 weeks now, and I'm confused on why she stopped contacting me so abruptly. I could move on but I don't want to let go of her like that so easily. I would like to contact her but for one, I can't and I don't have her new number. And for two, I feel like it would ruin any chance that I have of speaking with her ad in if I were to make the first initial contact. We shared so much positivity together so I don't get why this has happened in the fashion that it has. We always have been super open about everything so I don't know why we can't communicate through this this time around.
So me and... Lets just call her Tasha have known each other for the better part of 7 years. We met when I was 13 and she was 15. We met in an outdoor military thing that we both we enrolled in. We became very close right away and would talk to each other periodically over the next few years. We stayed close and even if a year went by we always would get back in touch no matter what life threw at us. We would tell each other every thing and have always been super open with other.. Very transparent. When she was 19 and I was 16 we first had sex with each other. We were only friends but it was the first time we did anything or flirted. It didn't spark into anything after that but it still mattered because we meant a lot to each other.
From that time on we were best friends/friends with benefits and even though that's rare, it felt right and never got in the way with anything. We dated other people and still stayed super close. A couple years after that incident she came down and visited me from where she was living. It always was a REALLY great time seeing each other and we always would talk each other's ears off again and again. We weren't anything more at this point, but I'm sure from an outsiders point of view it was obvious we at least liked each other. We were physical that time she came down but we both knew she had to go. We were living different lives at this point and were too far away to see each other in person much. Fast forward to a year maybe two years later... She and I didn't speak this whole time and it was during this time where we started developing feeling for another. She was up in Spokane and I was down in Tacoma, a good 5 hour drive from each other. She found me on Facebook and we immediately were in joy hearing from each other. We hit it off like never before and agreed that we didn't want to be strangers anymore, that we were going to get back into each other's lives this time for good. During the time she lived up there she did have a kid with guy who she was with but they were split up for more than a year. She ended things and there wasn't anything between them romantically. We talked for a few weeks like this until she came down to where I lived to move in at her Moms place. She came down for a couple reasons but mostly to see me and so we could start spending time with each other.
We both were ecstatic when she came down and we had a long talk on person and everything came spilling out about our feelings that we had for each other. She told me that she wanted me and I told her the same... We wanted to go all the way this time and get into an actual serious relationship with each other. It was quite beautiful, with our mind a being in sync wanting the same thing. Things went like this for awhile and I'm aware of what they call the "honeymoon" phase. But this was different because we actually knew each other and had a huge history together. We were super, super open about everything with each other and were genuine about everything. We were in this relationship for about 4 plus months... And we had a really great time together, a healthy relationship, no fights, and a great deal of respect and care for another's feelings... We were able to see things from the other persons perspective.
Nothing unhealthy was happening at this point... We weren't in the best living conditions but nothing to complain about... I will add real quick that there was drugs involved with her but she had a lot of self control and didn't let that take over her or ruin her loving character. Just wanted to add that in for infos sake. After those months together... No attraction was lost at the end.. The feelings were still there. But one day I get a message that "we need to talk". I never even GUESSED or even suspected that it would be regarding us breaking up. But it got a little tricky because of the factors involved.
She didn't even want to break up with me... I could even tell how she seemed in person when we talked that day. Sure, it hurt to hurt someone you love by leaving them. Her baby daddy came back into the picture and she was trying to work with him so she could be apart of the kids life again. I know that she seemed genuinely hurt herself doing the breakup. I find out later that she didn't want to at all but told me she needed to, not wanted to, for her kid's sake. She was trying to do what was best for her son and thought the best way was for her son to have both parents in it's life. She didn't want to drag me into the picture so she thought shed break it off instead of putting me in the middle. I knew deep down inside we weren't really over and during this time I prayed and hoped everyday that we would get together again. I knew deep down inside that she would come around again and come back. After the breakup we still would talk and she would message me when she could. We didn't want to be out of each other's lives for good... And so we talked about once a week or so. This went on for almost two months. (This past January and February) She didn't want her baby daddy finding out about this whole thing that she was still in love with me... And missed us together. I didn't know at that time that she still wanted us back because she didn't want to lead me on and tell me things to get my hopes up of us getting back together again.
After weeks went by like this she finally broke through and told me she was still in love with me and wanted to get me back so badly. She told me she made a huge mistake and regretted the whole thing. She also said she didn't expect me to take her back.... That shed love me from a distance always, and at least was hoping for forgiveness. I told her that I wanted us back to...we never stopped loving each other and I was willing to meet her halfway and work anything out between us. After talking about it for a couple weeks we decided to see each other in person. And I have to say it was honestly one of the best days of my life. It was SO nice seeing her again... I was so happy and I knew that if we came back together than it was something true. The passion was right there where we left off. I believed there was something there that was meant to be and our love was strong enough to get through that hardship and remain.
We started back up again but see this is where things start to get a little messy.... Things between us were actually really good. We were loving towards each other but she was at a very low point in her life. Her son was taken away that week which was very devastating. She fell into deep depression and it started taking its toll on her. It was hard to spend quality time with her because she slept a lot.... And it was so hard for her to be happy during this time. I tried to be understanding and support her through it. This went on for about 4 weeks like this... She still was treating me like I meant everything to her but her head space wasn't where it needed to be. We talked like this until she finally made up her mind that she needed help.. It was to get her son some back into her life. And to go to rehab to get help. She had to make a quick decision and we still stayed strong through it... It was hard for me because I was battling not being selfish. I was still grieving over our break up and the pain it caused.. But I tried to focus on her and her situation. She got into rehab in California that week and during this time we tried our best to stay in contact. As you may know, in rehab they have very strict communication rules so conversations were only 5 min or so each day.
Post break up, I was struggling with seeing her depressed and not making it all about me. I almost had to put us "on hold" during this time...I wanted to talk about us but she was going through so much. Another thing I know I was at fault was I tried to "play hard to get" a little bit... And even though we both really wanted to get back together I was trying to take it real slow to guard myself. During her time in rehab I had to again, not make it about me and not give her any unneeded stress while she was on there. This is a time for her to heal and get treatment. Overall we still talked well, but since of her stress and me stressing we did have some fight....which is unusual for us I must say. Nothing too severe, no name calling, but nothing that did either of us any good.
While she was in there her last week I find out she was going to be living in sober living when she got out of rehab. Great news! I was really happy that she got into it. She made her usual call that day and told me that and we talked about me coming up and visiting her. After that phone call, I didn't hear from her for a good 3-4 days.... I didn't think too much of it thinking she was busy getting out. Later that weekend I saw on Facebook that she got into sober living and I saw she was online and tried giving her a couple calls on the App. She didnt answer and then when I checked her profile a couple days later, I saw that I was blocked. And other social media like Snapchat she unfriended me on. She hasn't reached out to me for over 2 weeks now, and I'm confused on why she stopped contacting me so abruptly. I could move on but I don't want to let go of her like that so easily. I would like to contact her but for one, I can't and I don't have her new number. And for two, I feel like it would ruin any chance that I have of speaking with her ad in if I were to make the first initial contact. We shared so much positivity together so I don't get why this has happened in the fashion that it has. We always have been super open about everything so I don't know why we can't communicate through this this time around.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
It sounds like she is trying to learn how to be a mother to her son. It needs to be a priority for her to stay clear of drugs and to be a mother to her son.
She has stepped away from you at this point and the best thing for you to do is to move on.
She has stepped away from you at this point and the best thing for you to do is to move on.
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
I agree with Anna. Her focus is clearly on getting sober and having her son in her life whatever it takes. I am afraid that means leaving you behind. Please let her go with love and move on. Start dating other girls and go foward without her.
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