Ann

From the inside out

When you feel the urge to be critical of someone else, look first within yourself. The weaknesses and shortcomings you perceive in another may very well be pointing to improvements you can make in your own life.

Instead of depending on others to change, or attempting to force them to do so, look for positive changes that you can make. You’ll always have much more success controlling your own life than you will have controlling others.

If you wish to live in a positive world, be a positive person. If you desire peace, then be completely at peace with yourself.

Life is a mirror that reflects your most authentic self back to you. It flows from the inside out.

The values and priorities that you live by will greatly influence the world that you live in. The thoughts and feelings you hold most consistently on the inside will determine how life unfolds for you on the outside.

Allow peace, love, joy and fulfillment to flow from the inside out. Make your world the best it can be.

— Ralph Marston

Ann

Changing my life begins with me. I cannot change my circumstances but I can change my attitude and see things through the light of change.

It can begin with one thought, one small action, a decision to add joy to each day of my life. Adding some quiet time to meditate or listen to soft music, committing to taking a walk every day and just observing all around me as I walk. Doing a kindness for a neighbour or friend, spending time in a garden or park...all simple ways to add joy, the hard part is to be dedicated to taking this "me" time to improve my spirit.

Just as I cannot change anyone else, nobody else can change me. It's an inside job and worth the effort. Change begets change, before you know it life is better in every way.

Hugs

PhoenixJ

WISE WORDS, Ann.

CanadianRose

That is so true. Often when I find that I really can't stand a flaw in another person, it's because I hate that same flaw in myself.

I learned some serious humility yesterday when I decided to get off nicotine. I switched from smoking to vaping years ago, but started smoking a lot when my AH relapsed this year. I switched back to vaping when he left for rehab, but it really bothers me to be addicted to a substance now. So I decided to go cold turkey yesterday and made it until the afternoon before I totally failed. I had thrown out all my vaping supplies but totally dug one out of the garbage around 4pm and wiped wet coffee grounds off it, feeling like a crazed loser. Today is a new day and I'm trying again, but man...that withdrawal was nasty. I sat there dizzy and sick and realized I probably didn't have enough empathy for my AH when he was going through cravings. I sat there angry at him for being addicted to substances while I satisfied my own craving for a substance. I can fix that flaw in myself.

Maudcat

Dee, one of my friends, a lifelong heavy smoker, finally quit for good with help of Chantix. She had nightmares, which she didn't like at all, but it did the job where nothing else could.
Good luck. Rooting for you. It's a tough one, all right.

CanadianRose

I thought about trying that, though the side effects seem scary! I'm glad it worked for her!

Ann

These words keep coming back at me. When my house is clean and when I bring wildflowers for the table, the way I feel is quite different than when I neglect all that is around me. I can make my world more beautiful when I put my mind to it.

When my husband and I both had cancer and almost every day was spent going to one treatment or another...we made time to walk and sit in a lovely park by the hospital and we had dinner each night in a lovely little restaurant on a quaint street where we could watch people go about their lives. We made our life not "all about cancer" and found the beauty that surrounded us even in our darkest days.

It doesn't take much, an adjustment of attitude and making a decision to just do it is about all it takes.

Dee, you quit smoking and made your world more beautiful the moment you made that commitment to yourself. Yes, there is work and pain involved sometimes, but it the end you will be healthier, richer, and free of dependency...a lovely place to be.

Nobody can or needs to do it for us, we are in control of how we think and what we do with out lives. Small things become big things and before you know it, the world really IS a better place.

CanadianRose

You're right, Ann. Your thread spoke to me today, and thanks for that! I totally agree about how your surroundings affect your mood. I mowed the lawn yesterday and just looking out of my window makes me happier when that's done. I'll be cleaning like a mad woman later this evening and though I hate cleaning, I feel so good when it's done and everything looks nice around me. For a few moments before the kids mess it up, of course, lol.

You and your husband are wise people.