Karen22

Ten days sober and feeling awesome but I read some posts here about people relapsing after months and years! It is so disheartening! How do we guard against this?

Berrybean

We work on our recovery, and once we find what works we don't stop doing it.
This, for me and many others, needs a constant reminder of where we have come from, and I get this through this forum and also in AA. I believe that if it weren't for this I probably wouldn't have forgotten just how horrible it was and I'd have justified another drink to myself before now.

Don't be disheartened. Just resolve to never take your sobriety for granted and to keep doing what it takes.

BB

ScottFromWI

We do exactly as you are doing right now - seeking help and talking about it. That's what recovery is all about - actively finding ways to not only address the drinking, but also learning new ways to cope and deal with life on it's own terms.

Nonsensical

I also read posts on here about people who are keeping it sober after 10, 20, 30 years. I find it very comforting.

herculana

There is no more honest, meaningful, or loving place I have found in this world than in rooms, virtual or not, of recovering addicts.

So if staying sober means I stay firmly connected to these people, this tribe, than I think I might just be deeply blessed to have this "problem". <3

Thats how I am thinking about it.

kel08

don't let it dishearten you. there are many others who have kept their sobriety for years. i also find it is a great reminder of what i don't want in my life again, so if a craving comes on, i get here as quick as i can. the only time i relapsed, was when i was unprepared in a situation. With every relapse you may or may not have, you learn something new and you do something different. All is not lost, as long as you keep coming back and keep trying. This really is such a great place to be and it can be a wonderful happy place, and sometimes sad, but its real. All isn't ok sometimes and its good to be aware what can happen if we aren't careful. Keep going!

Fly N Buy

Humility

Forward12

It's best to keep the glass half full mentality. On the flipside, there are people with days, weeks, months, years, and decades of sobriety, only getting stronger every day. As AA says "stick with the winners"

tomsteve

i have quite a few things i do.
one being i dont rest on my laurels.
another is that i know for a fact that the only way i will drink again is if i allow it. none of that"a switch flipped" or "i dont know what came over me" or "it just happened" or " i got stressed out" or any other excuse will make me pick up a drink unless i allow it to happen- i would choose to try and run instead of looking for solutions.
another is knowing there are no drink worthy events.

ok, so ya have read posts here of drinking again.
now change your focus:
no go to the "stories of recovery" sub forum and read the threads
there.

also, read replies in those threads youve been reading. there are replies from hundreds and hundreds of years of sobriety.

CreativeThinker

Congratulations on 10 days Karen. Stay vigilant, make changes in your routine, develop a recovery program that works for you, come here and read, post... and don't listen to your AV when he begins telling you "You're not that bad, you can moderate, just have one...you've done so well, you deserve it..."

D122y

Karen,

I'll add that we here lost nothing by quitting drinking.

We gained a real life back.

While physically addicted for so many years i got into a mindset that drinking booze was life. This obviously is the opposite.

Every sober moment is me distancing myself from the old me.

I have been a teeny bit ill the last 2 days. I can't imagine ever dealing w that while being physically addicted.

Omg!

Thanks.

Karen22

Thank you all SO much for taking time to respond. I see that it's partly about perspective. I didn't understand until now. Got it - thx! 🙌🏻

Karen22

Tomsteve - thank you for pointing me to stories of recovery- I haven't read them before. Incredible stuff!

Nowsthetime

Hi:

Just wanted to add tha you stay vigilant of your AV. It is the one making you feel disheartened. All AV. Things like "it's too hard" or "they didn't make it, why should I?" I could go on forever with AV-speak. I'm vet familiar.

It's all perspective, as you say, and we choose to see the glass half full so don't be disheartened! You is not them. Focus on your story and how you want it to be. Focus on you and use us for support.

VigilanceNow

Thank you for this post! I have felt that way too. I went to rehab and so many of the people were there for the third, fourth time... It scared me to think how easy it is to get alcohol. But as everyone has said here, it truly has to be a way of life. I resisted embracing it for years because I didn't want to give up having what I thought was fun. But it's true, you gain so much more by making a program work for your life. Stay connected - that's super important for me. Isolating is what leads me to the liquor store. I always call someone when the thought even crosses my mind. You can do it!

shortstop81

I'd also like to add that for anyone who does relapse after a long period of sobriety, there is still the opportunity to get back on the wagon and work on recovery. Relapse does not HAVE to = downward spiral back to addiction. How we as addicts respond afterwards is what matters.

A line of thinking I've experienced and heard from others, is that once you relapse you've 'failed', and you may as well go ALL OUT since you've already screwed up. But we must stay vigilant against falling into that trap, if ever in that position.

Anyhoo, congrats on 10 days Karen!

Dee74

Try not to be disheartened Karen - for every relapse story there';s a success story too

I've been in recovery for over ten years now and I keep it simple - do not drink...seek support if you need it...stay happy.

If you don't want to relapse, and you put energy and action behind that decision , you will not relapse...ever

D