Tryingin2016

AH showed up drunk to our teen son's soccer game yesterday. My son has another game today. I called AH this morning & told him not to come today. He got mad at me & hung up.

This is just another reason why I can't wait for this divorce to be final & move on with my life. He doesn't even see how his drinking affects us. He's mad at me. He doesn't realize that when he shows up drunk to a public event we are all so stressed out worrying if he's going to humiliate himself in public. He thinks no one knows he's drinking. He is so beyond reality at this point.

Does anyone know if I can put something in our parenting plan that says AH can't come to our sons activities if he's been drinking? Our son is turning 18 next year so then I won't have to deal with this any longer. It's a shame that alcohol can take such a hold on a person. My AH used to be a good dad.

Maudcat

Not an attorney, so can't speak to your question, T.
I'm sure others with legal expertise will weigh in soon and answer.
Hugs to you.

LexieCat

I agree--you need legal advice as to whether a court would order that as part of a parenting plan, and what you might need to prove to have it included. He could agree to it, of course, but how likely is it that he would?

Cyranoak

If what you are worried about is the below I'd ask you, instead, to worry about your son and yourself-- let him worry about him. Your focus, if the below is true, is absolutely pointed the wrong direction.

He is simply doing what alcoholics do-- please consider focusing on yourself and your son and how best to handle the reality of his father's drinking.

Good luck to you.

Cyranoak

Sasha1972

I'm not sure you can prohibit someone from coming to a sports facility or recreational area, unless the facility itself regards your AH as a threat or a nuisance and communicates that to him. You could probably have something in your parenting plan saying that he promises not to come if he's drunk, but I doubt it would be enforceable.

My ex showed up this morning at my daughter's gymnastics competition smelling of alcohol and shaking - fortunately he didn't do anything appalling, other than chatting up some of the younger and hotter moms, but it sucks having to always be looking over my shoulder to keep an eye on him.

LexieCat

Oh, it would absolutely be enforceable--court orders always are. Not that the police would arrest him, but the court could certainly hold him in contempt (which conceivably could involve a fine or jail, though the violations would probably have to be repeated and/or particularly egregious before we'd be talking jail time). Moreover, I think it's always good practice to ASK, even if you're unlikely to get what you want--it helps build a record that will encourage the court to take future incidents more seriously.

merrygoround1

Even in withdrawal they can be over the legal limit. My exAH showed up drunk to an early soccer game. People drove him home but were mad at him for weeks. Our kids are younger and the rush between games in the parking lot at one of the biggest soccer centers was concerning to parents we know...one accident to kids or cars... He was warned next time the police could give him a check.

Forward12

I agree with above. Unless someone drove him there, he was breaking the law by driving drunk, and public intoxication is also a crime that no court order is needed.
If this is a private facility, you can inform them of him showing up intoxicated and they likely will ask him to leave and/or ban him from coming back.