libraloo

Well here I am drinking again. Thought I could handle going back into the lions den by returning to the state I originally came from and facing my demons. no such luck. 2 x people forgave me for my behavior before I left, but the rest has been all about loss and facing that loss. My answer is to grab a bottle and down it. I have the opportunity of living with an ex, which we are friends with benefits and solves my financial situation. Trouble is he is getting attached , even though he says he understands the situation,he is starting to talk about us being together, which is not a solution, and he drinks like a fish, which I am not judging, but think how strong can I be in that environment. I need to stop for me. No excuses, but I dont seem to be able to get past day 30!!!!!!

doggonecarl

Lasting sobriety requires change. Usually big change. Not sure returning to face your demons and hooking up with an ex is supporting your decision to quit drinking. To get past 30 days you are going to have to be actively involved in your recovery. Emphasis on recovery, which is different from just not drinking.

Maudcat

Good luck, libraloo. Think the ex is better as a friend, tho.
We need all the friends we can get.

CreativeThinker

Hang in there Libraloo...I wouldn't be able to get sober in the situation you are in. It would be too tempting. You can do this...think about what changes you can make to find permanent recovery.

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear you are trying again libraloo. As Carl says, hooking up with an ex doesn't really address your addiction. It might help financially but sounds like your real problem is drinking....and financial help won't solve it. This particular situation sounds like a lot of baggage anyway...are you sure it's a good idea?

Mizzuno

If I were in your shoes:

I would not want a drug addicted friend to move into a home where their choice of drug was readily available for use if they were trying to get their life back on track.
The same goes with alcohol. Living with someone who drinks like a fish is way too much temptation for anyone quitting alcohol.

Just my two cents-

mathmajor

Congrats on 30 days. It's such a struggle to make it past 3 or 4.

Dee74

I wouldn't return to that ex situation. You want to make a new start, not go back to an old one.

If you're having trouble getting past 30 days -I tried my best to live my old life as it was, just without drinking. That didn't work because my old life was all about drinking.

do you think you might be doing that too?

I had to change my life, pretty drastically, to stay sober. One of the changes was finding healthier ways to deal with conflict and rejection than drinking.

It's not an easy thing to change, but there is help around. This is a good link to start on

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

libraloo

I've actually been to my doctor and he's prescribed medication to help. He's the first doctor I've had that has actually taken me seriously. Maybe because it is the first time I have been really truthfully. It feels like a good start. Day 1 is over and done with . Now for the rest of my life

libraloo

day 4 already. It has been easier than I thought. I am blessed. now the hard part , the not picking up the bottle every time something stressful appears in my life . that is going to be the hard part, the numbing your emotions, because its easier to do that than actually feel . The AV telling you just have that 1 drink/bottle . how do you all cope with that? does it become quieter or just continually plague you for the rest of your life?

Ananda

I have made a commitment that if I feel that a drink is hovering in the air in my head I will post here about it before I walk out the door...

Maybe that would be helpful for you? Of course only I can make sure I follow through.

Glad you are here and it is going well!

Hevyn

Congratulations on your 4 sober days, Libraloo.

My AV definitely quieted down over time - and now I rarely hear from it. I finally now know that drinking is never going to make any situation better or easier. It will, however, cause me misery, confusion, & anxiety. Never, ever will it be worth it.

least

Yes, the craving for a drink does get less as you get more sober time. I rarely think about it now, and when the thoughts do come, they are easily dismissed. I want to be sober much more than I could ever want to drink.

libraloo

Have been prescribed naltrexone, anyone had any success with this. Kinda scared to take it as one of the side effects is fatigue and I need all the energy I can to get through the next few weeks.

CreativeThinker

Yes, I use Naltrezone....it does tend to make me tired...but between the meds and therapy, I haven't relapsed yet.

libraloo

day 18 and i have had anxiety for the past 7 days. is this normal

Dee74

I think it's well within the bounds of normal, yeah libraloo

If you weren't anxious before you started drinking, chances are it will fade in time now you've stopped...of cos if it's a pre-existing condition you may want to speak to your Dr or therapist about it.

Did you end up taking the naltrexone?

D

D

Delilah1

Glad you came back, sorry you are struggling. Although living with your ex might solve financial problems, it will open up other issues.

CreativeThinker

Hey Libraloo- I had a lot of anxiety too. Regular exercise helps me a lot!

Congrats on your progress. Keep going...it will get easier, promise!

libraloo

I never took the naltrexone. apparently it makes you really tired. Im in between moving house and finding a job so I cant afford to physically be tired. Im not having cravings anyway. It's just the dark soul feeling that is disturbing me