Notices

Just sort of here.

Old 05-26-2017, 11:42 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
Just sort of here.

I cant really express why I have stumbled upon the first thing Google has provided me with regarding "alcoholism support forums". But it's here... let's see what happens.

I have found a place like this before...at this point years ago. (3-4 YEARS)

I am 30 years old, male, and just lost in my drinking. It has been at least six years of progressive downward spiral.

I hold down a respectable job, I am paid to do something I enjoy. So whatever a "functioning alcoholic" is I guess I may be that. But this is obviously not functioning.

My reasons for drinking once had a reason...depression, toxic home life as a teenager etc etc. Through therapy and maturity I feel I have overcome those demons. But in replace of sadness and self harm and prescribed pills alcohol has been the silent champion. I tell my psychiatrist "I'm good...doing well" when I feel that's true. No more obsessive depressed thoughts...replaced by a shot ton of alcohol dependence.

I am so tired. I am getting sick. When I don't drink for a few days I feel the pain in my body...I'm afraid of the damage I have done. I am so alone in this. In my depression I use to tell myself I would never see 30.

Now I'm 30. I'm alive...but killing myself. How does anyone quit this?

Please help me.
Thebboxer is offline  
Old 05-26-2017, 11:50 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Meraviglioso's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hello and welcome, I am glad you stumbled upon this forum because it is a great place, full of support and full of people just like you.
How do you do it? Well, you just decide to stop and you stop, but of course it isn't that easy. One thing for sure is that you must get a plan in place to address this issue and start to fight it.
For me it took taking a month off of my life and going to rehab. Generally that is a last resort for people and most balk at the idea- I know I did until there really was no other option left for me.
The thing I want to tell you more than anything though is that it is entirely possible. There are so many avenues of support out there- AA, SMART meetings, this forum, rehab, doctors, etc. And then there is you, and you are stronger than you know. You can do this, it won't always be easy, but it is possible.
Have you spoken to your psychiatrist about this? My real journey began when I spoke to my psychiatrist about my alcoholism. My work with him helped to an extent, but as I mentioned, I needed the additional step of going to rehab to cut the cycle and really start down the path of sobriety. You may be able to do this without rehab, but I would think that a serious and very honest talk with your psychiatrist would be a good starting point.
Keep the dialogue going and share with us, we are all here to support you and advise you.
Meraviglioso is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 12:00 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Hi Thebboxer, good to meet you.

For me, I stopped drinking by taking it one day at a time. One hour at a time in the early days. Even one minute at a time.

I spent a long time reading threads on this site. Knowing that I'm not alone has been incredibly empowering for me.

I read your post and I felt your pain. I know exactly how you feel because I spent many years feeling the exact same way. I now know that it can get better and it will. Accept that you don't drink anymore and take it from there. One day at a time. Stay close to this site. You will get fantastic practical advice and incredible support.
kenton is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 12:47 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Hi thebboxer

How does one quit - concerted effort and a willingness to change, I think. There's a ton of support here too.

I defined myself by my drinking for many years - I had no idea how I might live sober - but I trusted the people I saw here doing just that...

it was possible...and if they could do it, I could do it too

welcome aboard

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 12:54 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
PhoenixJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,512
Welcome, good words said above.
PhoenixJ is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 04:54 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Maudcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Welcome to SR, Thebboxer. There is lots of support here.
How about joining the May class here? It's a thread for the newly sober and those who want to be.
It sounds a though you are ready to make a change.
You should. Alcohol does nothing but make us unhappy.
I am sober three years. I feel good, my body has healed and rebounded from the drink.
Relationships are better.
Best of all, no more hangovers.
Peace.
Maudcat is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 07:49 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi theboxer, welcome to SR. How does one quit? Great question. There are many ways one can overcome alcoholism. I subscribe to the saying "quitting is easy, staying quit is the hard part". I primarily did it by engaging in life again, and not engaging in alcohol consumption. Early days are rough, boredom will become the enemy. Give it time, it gets better.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 08:03 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Gratitude Gardener
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 278
Welcome...<3

I feel your pain. Youre so not alone in this.

JUST DONT DRINK TODAY.

I am on day 8.

Here is what I have done:

I pledge, every new morning, to remain sober, for just 24 hours.

Its very literally... ONE DAY AT A TIME (and sometimes, it can be just one HOUR at a time)

I basically stay completely glued to this site, and a more intimate sobriety site... ALL DAY LONG. Both sites are serving me very well. You might, however, need or want more, to which I would say that maybe you should start AA meetings. Personal choice. They can be very helpful. For some, those meetings are THE KEY.

I became a big loud SQUEAKY WHEEL on both my sobriety sites.

SQUEAK as often as you need to.

Post as often as I need you. And on a few nights the CHAT here (open 24 hours) was my total lifeline. I needed one on one conversation to ease anxieties the first few nights, so I used the chat and just waited til someone appeared there to talk with.

I've read other's posts every day... reading others struggles and wins is really important for me.

Thats been my plan thus far... and my plan has been very simple at first, so as not to overwhelm myself or needlessly trigger my shaky self trust issues about follow-through (plans, for me, are actually a trigger to drink!).

Stick around here and soak up the support and love, friend.

You will get great support, feedback and suggestions to deal with every little piece of what you are going through.
herculana is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 08:07 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,021
Hello and Welcome to SR!

I think most of us found this place through a search about our drinking, I know I did. You can definitely stop, and 30 is still so young. It took me until my 40s before I finally managed sobriety. I spent a few years with brief periods of sobriety, and then attempts at moderation, which always failed miserably. I now have 17 months sober and it is due to having a plan. Once you spend some time on here you will get to know Dee, and he will encourage all newcomers, and those returning to have a plan and it is so true!

I focused on recovery, and making healthy choices across the board. I completely took alcohol off the table, it was not an option for me no matter the occasion (and I was good at always finding an occasion!). In the beginning I planned out the time I would have normally been drinking with other activities: walking, yoga, the gym, activities with my kids, reading both recovery, and non recovery books. I spent a lot of time on here, reading and posting daily. I also really have been working on mindfulness, and staying focused in the present.

A few tips about this site:
-Join a class, you can join the May 2017, and even June 2017 class (once it starts). The best thing about the monthly classes is you will have the support of others who have decided to commit or recommit to sobriety that month.

-Check in daily on the 24 hour thread. It is fast moving, and you will make some fast friends. Everyone on this thread celebrates the successes of other members, and is there to support each other through the rough times.

-Read and post in the Newcomers Thread.

-If the thought of drinking pops into your head log in here first. There will be someone here to help talk you out of it.

You will never wake up in the morning and regrets being sober. The first few days/weeks are challenging, but they truly get easier, and the benefits are so worth it. Also, do not hesitate to reach out to your doctor for support with getting started, they can help you with physical withdrawal symptoms, and can also recommend other face to face supports in this area.

Glad you are here!!!
❤Delilah
Delilah1 is offline  
Old 05-27-2017, 10:37 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Thebboxer View Post
I cant really express why I have stumbled upon the first thing Google has provided me with regarding "alcoholism support forums". But it's here... let's see what happens.

I have found a place like this before...at this point years ago. (3-4 YEARS)

I am 30 years old, male, and just lost in my drinking. It has been at least six years of progressive downward spiral.

I hold down a respectable job, I am paid to do something I enjoy. So whatever a "functioning alcoholic" is I guess I may be that. But this is obviously not functioning.

My reasons for drinking once had a reason...depression, toxic home life as a teenager etc etc. Through therapy and maturity I feel I have overcome those demons. But in replace of sadness and self harm and prescribed pills alcohol has been the silent champion. I tell my psychiatrist "I'm good...doing well" when I feel that's true. No more obsessive depressed thoughts...replaced by a shot ton of alcohol dependence.

I am so tired. I am getting sick. When I don't drink for a few days I feel the pain in my body...I'm afraid of the damage I have done. I am so alone in this. In my depression I use to tell myself I would never see 30.

Now I'm 30. I'm alive...but killing myself. How does anyone quit this?

Please help me.
Your body will heal in time. I have depression too, and all alcohol does is drop you further. I've used it as a crutch and it ends up making your legs weak!
steveo69 is offline  
Old 05-28-2017, 05:00 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 857
How you doing bboxer? Met you in the chat room the other night. Things ok with you? Check in if you can.
TinkerB is offline  
Old 05-28-2017, 05:12 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
Welcome to the family TB. Glad you found us and decided to join. Lots of support here. I hope we can help you get sober for good.
least is offline  
Old 05-28-2017, 05:29 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 175
Here we go again!

Please disregard. For some reason the thread I started ended up as a reply here....I'll try again
JScatt is offline  
Old 05-28-2017, 07:52 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
teatreeoil007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Options

How a person decides to quit and stay stopped is individual for sure. It kind of depends on how you approach life. Do you see life as a series of options and able to decide what to do if such and such occurs. For most alcoholics, there will always be a reason to drink; a reason why drinking is their "go to" thing. My mindset became such that I told myself drinking is simply NO LONGER AN OPTION. Just: not an option. Took that option completely off the table. I'm not a stupid person, so I knew I was capable of problem solving and making better choices.
teatreeoil007 is offline  
Old 05-28-2017, 10:25 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 178
I'm no expert but I thought I would just let you know how I got through my first days. I was a night time drinker. I hardly ever drank before 8 pm. Everyday beginning mid afternoon, I would start thinking about drinking. It would give me that extra push to get me through the day knowing that first cocktail would be waiting. After 8, I would binge drink until I went to bed and pass out. When I decided to quit, I would have a really hard time at night, so I would just go to bed when it would be my usual time to drink. I would wake up the next day so thankful that I didn't drink the night before but by mid afternoon my AV would kick in and the cravings were bad. I would be so depressed thinking I couldn't have a drink that night. It was so hard. I didn't want to go on. What for? What's the purpose? Is this all there is to life? Getting up, going to work, going to bed. It was awful. I couldn't even entertain the thought of never drinking again. That was impossible to imagine. Every night I would just go to bed early. Night after night. Then before I knew it, it got a little easier. Soon enough I didn't have to go to bed so early if I didn't want to. I was able to stay up later and not drive myself insane with cravings. The other night around 10 pm I realized that I hadn't thought about drinking all day! I just couldn't believe it! I'm only on day 36 but I've never made it this far before. I can truly say that I can turn down a drink (which I did at a picnic today) and I was basically fine with it. If I'm totally honest, I did have a few sad moments watching others drink, but it was manageable. It's 12:56 a.m. right now and I'm sitting on the couch watching tv and have a glass of cold green tea in hand. No cravings at all. I'm still tired all the time, and sometimes my entire body aches so much. I'm hoping that will improve sooner than later. I still get that flash of a thought once in awhile, but I kick that right to the curb. I'm in no way out of the woods, but I'm managing. Everyone has a different way of handling this. I thought I would just tell my story. I'm sincerely routing for you! It sucks big time at first. There is no way around it. You are worth it, and if I can do it, so can you!!!
myluckyday is offline  
Old 05-29-2017, 07:18 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zebra1275's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,836
Welcome to SR!

This forum is a great place, but for me it wasn't quite enough.

I also ended up going to AA for some face to face support. That combination got me sober. I'm 7+ years sober know and don't go to AA much anymore, but I know where to turn if life starts to get difficult.
Zebra1275 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:25 AM.