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DAY FOUR - What are these CRAZY voices?

Old 05-25-2017, 07:11 PM
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DAY FOUR - What are these CRAZY voices?

Because you so often hear in recovery that first you have to stop the drinking and then work on the reasons that caused you to drink, the voices I'm hearing right now are scary.

They are jumping to all the reasons I started in the first place and convincing me that the drinking wasn't the problem, it was all the reasons that lead up to it. Meaning even if I stop drinking, which I did four days ago, nothing will get better. It's not tempting me to drink so much as it's depressing me. Anyone else experience this? What if you get sober but you still have all the problems that lead up to it? What then?
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Old 05-25-2017, 07:21 PM
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So quick question...are you literally hearing voices or are these the thoughts in your head? If you are literally hearing them, then you are having a dangerous withdrawal and you need medical assistance asap before it gets any worse.

If these are the thoughts in your head, then this is your Addictive Voice (AV) speaking to you. This is the part of your disease that tries to trick you into drinking again. At day four the AV is having a little temper tantrum. Tell the AV to get lost and ignore it. Trust me, alcohol is the problem. The first hurdle to overcome is to withdraw from alocohol and not drink. Once you are more stable and on your way to sobriety, then you work on the reasons. It's a process and we all work through it at our own and proper pace. One of our sayings at AA is "one day at a time" and " easy does it."
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Old 05-25-2017, 07:35 PM
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Post here. Read. Chat if you need to. Attend a meeting if you need to.

Just dont drink today.

Those BIG thoughts of the future and how sad and hard it all is will not serve you too well at this time, and no matter how URGENT they sound, don't trust them.
Thats that not too smart voice of FEAR talking to you again. Its just fear.

Stay here. Stay in the now. Youre doing great Newlife! You really are.

Have just a lttle faith in this process, and the untold gifts it will bring. For one thing... Youre not hungover, shaking and full of shame. Thats an ENORMOUS gift right there <3
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Old 05-25-2017, 07:48 PM
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Drinking wasn't my problem - it was my solution. In order to live life, I had to find different solutions. You don't have to drink and you are not alone.

Four daze is a great start
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Old 05-25-2017, 08:07 PM
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They definitely aren't real voices. But I am still so exhausted, mentally and physically and have been since Monday. This has never happened when I've stopped in the past. So I don't know what's different now. Which is just adding to the hopelessness and depression. I don't have anxiety just yet, I've been too depressed to feel that, but I know it's coming because it's one of the main reasons I started drinking in the first place. And to help me sleep at night cause it's so hard to turn my brain off. :-(
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Old 05-25-2017, 08:27 PM
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I think at the moment you need to focus on the present time. Thinking into the future is too much to handle at the moment and your main focus right now is to stay sober. This is true for myself as well on day 6. Today, I don't drink.

Thinking of you.

PS every time I've tried to quit day 3 and 4 are really really hard. It's when the cravings really start to hit hard which I think is part of the withdrawal process. It's usually when my AV tries to convince me that I just need to moderate my drinking or that one little drink won't hurt or that I don't really have a drinking problem...
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Old 05-25-2017, 08:35 PM
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Good advice from all. I agree...Day 4 was always my hardest day and the one I usually relapsed on in the past. The mental and physical exhaustion are a normal part of the withdrawal. Your body and brain have ben hurt and need time to heal. I also had huge headaches for about three weeks and was as irritable as a bear woken out of hibernation. Be gentle with your self. Don't try to do too much or get frustrated with the healing process. Kick the AV to the curb . It won't go to the curb, but tell it you aren't buying what it says and slowly but surely, everything will start to get better bit by bit. Support is crucial so keep posting here and read everything you can get your hands on about alcoholism and recovery. I was scared to go to AA but I finally went and found it incredibly helpful. Whatever you do, know that you can ride it out, and you will get through it.
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:13 PM
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What if you get sober but you still have all the problems that lead up to it? What then?
NewLife, I had all my problems that led up to drinking, and then some from drinking, then a whole crapload of new ones after I quit drinking, so then I had to deal with the before, during and after.
We all do, really. Unless we have some lucky horseshoes stuck you-know-where. (I did at times)

Those thoughts that play like a broken record still run through my mind sometimes, and I am a week shy of 5 months sober.
5 months!! I never thought I would get here. I always got tripped up on day 4 too. And 8... 10. etc


The ONLY way to make things better is to DO something to make things better.
Get proper rest, sleep when you need to. Even if you can't sleep, rest is still important.
Get some real life support. Counseling, meetings, a sober buddy or other support group.
When you feel well enough, get yourself busy.
Volunteer, take up hobbies, join a club, read more books, go for walks, post here lots, journal, blog, whatever gives you some measure of healthy pleasure and comfort is what you're aiming for.

You can rewrite that BS tape that's playing through your head.
You have to work at it consistently though.
This WILL get better.
The longer you stay sober, the stronger you will be.

NOTHING on this earth can or could make you drink but yourself.
So, that means the reasons for the rest of what's wrong with your life comes down to choices made and coping mechanisms you found that worked.
You can change all that.
It takes time. It takes persistence. Don't give up on yourself and don't believe the lies you tell yourself anymore.

Hang in there.
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:32 PM
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They are jumping to all the reasons I started in the first place and convincing me that the drinking wasn't the problem, it was all the reasons that lead up to it. Meaning even if I stop drinking, which I did four days ago, nothing will get better. It's not tempting me to drink so much as it's depressing me. Anyone else experience this? What if you get sober but you still have all the problems that lead up to it? What then?
Rational Recovery has a concept that calls these kinds of thoughts Addictive Voice.

I'm fond of saying the addictive voice lies..always.

Try and not jump too far into the future. Getting sober is a leap of faith...but it's not a blind leap.

There are thousands of people here living happy and contented lives, sober.

I guarantee you - what ever problems can't be fixed by you getting sober, you'll be far and away in a better position to deal with them as a sober person.

Things have a way of working out - not always as we think they might - but they do...

you'll be OK

D
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by NewLife310 View Post
Because you so often hear in recovery that first you have to stop the drinking and then work on the reasons that caused you to drink, the voices I'm hearing right now are scary.
It has been quite a while since I was in your shoes, but something about your post caught my interest. First you have to stop drinking is what they say. Nice thought, logical, and I would have long ago if I had the power. But I didn't, so the first thing for me to do was to find the power.

When I realised that and got busy with my quest, I found myself sober, with no inclination to drink.

I can certainly relate to the racing mind. It was a problem I had whenever I was sober, and alone, particularly when I wanted to sleep. The racing mind and the sweats and the tiredness etc were all part of withdrawal, but while the physical symptoms eased off, my mind was a mad house for quite a time after I had my last drink.

Maybe it was brain damage, maybe a spiritual disconnect, but I had lost the ability to think my way through the most simple of things. Just choosing what socks to wear was a major undertaking. My mind was not functioning very well. It certainly was in no state to bring about a miracle cure in me. It was like having a head full of scrambled eggs.

What did I do? The very first day after my last drink I was at an AA meeting. I didn't speak (couldn't string together a sentence), just took comfort from the others that there was a way out. I listened. I did some of those basic things like eating and washing. I hung out with some other newbies during the day. Then after a week or two I started to act on some of the other things I was hearing, then I blinked and I was three months sober and the whole world had changed.

The racing mind was largely gone, I remember exactly the day that happened. Ultimately it was the result of keeping an open mind and being willing to take action. Like I said, the action started with very small stuff, eating and washing, then listening then seeking, then doing.
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Old 05-25-2017, 11:26 PM
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I've heard the "voices" at 6+months sober the past few days dealing with my kid's current issues. My business partner/good friend of many years (so, he knows I'm a recovering drunk ) said this to me at lunch,as he drank a beer: " What you are hearing is normal thoughts about what is happening in your life. Your mind is clear now, and you are trying to think things through. That's what WE normal drinkers do every damn day,without trying to drink it away,like you have done for years! You are now owning and solving your problems,instead of hiding at the bottom of the glass because IT,ANYTHING,EVERYTHING either went perfect or it didn't go your way." Me, still being me was like: Get the F outta here with that..in my head and I thought for a few seconds..He was right! I'm living for the first time in years,taking the world in. ALL of it. My stuff. Kid's stuff. Your stuff. I'm present and in the moment all day everyday and that stuff's hard for me! I look well put together on the outside/paper but,inside I'm a wreck and I'm trying my best to deal with that. On edit: I went to a meeting after lunch and saw first hand what I would become in 30yrs if I continue to drink the way I was heading..That's not who I am or want to be. I just have to relearn "being normal"..not a normal drinker,that ship has sailed but, a normal person. Then I hope the crazy thoughts will chill out in crisis mode.
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Old 05-26-2017, 05:17 PM
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I've found the voices, my AV, go nuts on days 4-5. It's like enough time has passed to forget the hangover and to convince yourself you're not that bad, ha! Pushing past that point was crucial for me. I'm only on day 12 but the voices have quietened down hugely.
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Old 05-26-2017, 05:46 PM
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NewLife, stopping drinking is the first step. It won't solve all your problems and make your life perfect, but, it's essential so that you can begin to deal with the parts of your life you've been avoiding and numbing away. I know it can be overwhelming at the outset, but it can be done, slowly and steadily.
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