DeepSpace

Hi all,

I was searching the internet looking for answers and came across this forum. After reading countless posts by others, it seemed like signing up was something I should definitely do.

I never considered myself an alcoholic (I'm still not sure I am one). I've used all the phrases about quitting any time, functioning fine at work etc, and (as I'm in the military) I've been able to prove to myself and my wife that I can go extended periods with no drinking (8 months+).

However, that's there and here's here. My wife has asked me to stop drinking. She's stopped drinking in solidarity, and we're 7 days dry today. It's starting to feel like a lifetime. I have doubts that I ever wanted to quit, I'm starting to feel unjustly picked on for 'being forced' to stop drinking. (It was my decision and one I was proud of, but because she asked I'm becoming a resentful ****). Which has driven me to try and seclude myself from the family to a large degree.

Now I can't stop thinking about alcohol. I tried to focus on a computer game to get away from the thoughts, but ended up googling issues about drinking instead.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello. Y'all seem like an amazing community, and I'm hoping to become a part of it.

Cheers!

Dee74

Hi and welcome DeepSpace

I'd try and look at it this way - if you've stopped for a week and you're squirrelly already, chances are, at least, you rely on alcohol a little more than's healthy?

You've given us no cause to think your wife is an unreasonable person, so chances are her asking you to quit was not unreasonable, and in direct response to your drinking.

My advice when faced with a choice between alcohol and loved ones is to pick the loved ones. I didn't always do that.

I had to stop drinking - there was no doubt in my mind I was an alcoholic - but I'm so glad I did.

I love being sober, being free, happy and peaceful

Give sobriety a little more of a go - you might just find you love it too

D

DeepSpace

Hey Dee, and thanks for the reply!

I might have come across badly. I'm pretty good at that on the internet.

My wife is amazing, and is only asking me to stop out of consideration (and the fact we can't afford my drinking).

The fact I'm, as you say 'squirrelly' already, is definitely leading me to think I need to quit. I honestly thought it would be easy, but I'm going nuts and it's only been a week.

Those comments about my thoughts were me trying to explain that I think I'm going through some sort of rationalisation process where I allow myself to start drinking again, cause 'I never really wanted to quit anyway.'

I don't know if I'm an alcoholic, but this reaction to sobriety after 7 days has definitely convinced me I'm not as fine as I thought I'd be.

least

Welcome to the family, DS. I didn't really want to quit, but knew I had to. Drinking was standing in the way of everything I wanted to do and be. And after I was sober for a while, I started to really like it. I love waking up feeling good. I love taking really good care of my dogs and cats. I love being able to pay my bills cause my money is no longer spent on wine instead of paying debts.

My life is so much better now. I wouldn't drink again if you paid me.

I hope our support and advice can help you get sober for good.

tursiops999

Welcome, deepspace! That "rationalization" you describe is something that many of us here can relate to. We call it the "addictive voice". That part of me that got hooked on alcohol will occasionally try to "hijack" my thoughts, to try to rationalize drinking and get me to drink. But I don't do what it says, because I'm a non-drinker now, and happily so.

I wasn't sure I needed to quit, but the longer I'm sober, the more I see the benefits of not drinking. I can also see more clearly the subtle hold that alcohol had over me before I quit.

Stick around, read, post your thoughts -- it's good to have you here.

PhoenixJ

Welcome DS- YOU ARE PART OF IT! I too found SR by surfing. It has been a game changer- with professional support (which you will have access to) AA meetings (for a connection) and hard work. It has very little to do with proving I could 'go it alone- I am a strong person'. Because addictive behaviour does not work like that. It just is. Get involved with other threads in the newcomer's. 24 daily report in one is good. Class of May 2017. Support to you.

DeepSpace

Thanks a lot everyone.

@least: I felt good for the few days after my latest binge, and I totally know what you mean about it being an awesome feeling. I think that it's just died away lately as the memory fades. I think I know that I have to quit as well. I really appreciate your comments, they seem very much like where I'm at now, and you're where I want to be soon(tm).

That Addictive Voice you spoke of is a good name for it tursiops99. It's brutal today, Just won't let go. I almost slipped last night as it got in my head that all the hard work I'd done yesterday deserved a reward, luckily my wife stayed strong (even though she'd love to have a wine as well), and we got through it.

Thanks for the suggestions PhoenixJ. I'll go check those out immediately.

Really appreciate it friends Thanks a lot for listening.

PhoenixJ

Keep posting

SimplyFree

Day 36 for me. The first couple weeks are like what you have described. Obsessive, emotional swings, I had a headache that lasted nearly the whole time. It was totally worth it!! I've already saved $100s and got back over 2 weeks of evenings to engage with my kids and others. I never want to have another day 1. Stay strong!