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Newly sober and struggling

Old 05-17-2017, 12:08 PM
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Newly sober and struggling

Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum and I've only been sober since May 12, 2017.

A little bit of a background on myself: My parents are both high-functioning alcoholics and I've been drinking consistently for the last 7 years (about 6-8 ciders a night). Its been my crutch when it comes to dealing with my depression, stress and social anxiety for years and I'm really struggling when it comes to coping with these issues without alcohol.

About a month ago, I lost my job of three years (honestly, due to the alcoholism) and even that wasn't enough. My drinking has escalated over the last month due to the guilt and shame of dealing with this whole ordeal. Besides that, my finances were already in the gutter due to my addiction.

Last Friday, I ended up over-doing it and got into a huge altercation with my partner of 4 years. He pretty much gave me an ultimatum: quit drinking or he's moving out. He doesn't drink and doesn't understand why I can't just put the drink down. This whole situation has obviously put me in a tremendous amount of emotional stress.

My social anxiety has gotten to the point where I don't know how to form friendships without booze. I don't know how to distract myself with normal activities anymore. I honestly don't feel any happiness when it comes to doing anything anymore.

Anyways, this is probably my 20th attempt at putting the bottle down forever. I'm really struggling at the moment and am looking for support anywhere.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 05-17-2017, 12:12 PM
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I NEVER thought I could get sober. It took me being completely emotionally bankrupt to put the bottle down. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I didn't believe in myself. Not one bit. but I had sober folks around me who welcomed me into the fold and told me "Believe that I believe" and loved me to wellness. Sobriety is amazing. It is not easy but it is totally worth it. I had great luck with AA so that is what I recommend to others. You won't like all the meetings. You won't like all the people. But if yous tick around, miracles will happen in your life. I'm glad you're here and I believe in you. This is worth it. Hugs to you.
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Old 05-17-2017, 12:35 PM
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Hi. I'm newly sober as well, and for about the 20th time too, But in the past I have lasted over 3 years sober. I do relapse but then I try again. That experience has taught me that sobriety is the best way to live. Keep at it, you won't change as much as you think. You will make friends and regain confidence. I have always used alcohol as a coping mechanism too, but there are other ways. Keep at it. I intend to. Take care.
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Old 05-17-2017, 12:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Bunny211 View Post
I NEVER thought I could get sober. It took me being completely emotionally bankrupt to put the bottle down. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I didn't believe in myself. Not one bit. but I had sober folks around me who welcomed me into the fold and told me "Believe that I believe" and loved me to wellness. Sobriety is amazing. It is not easy but it is totally worth it. I had great luck with AA so that is what I recommend to others. You won't like all the meetings. You won't like all the people. But if yous tick around, miracles will happen in your life. I'm glad you're here and I believe in you. This is worth it. Hugs to you.
Beautiful
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Old 05-17-2017, 01:20 PM
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You can do it Nion. Keep reading here on SR, ask questions, LEARN how to find a new way of life...don't pick up a drink.

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Old 05-17-2017, 02:09 PM
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Hi Nion, Welcome!

You are at a low point and now is the time to stop the descent and make the changes that you need to make. You can stop drinking and be the person you want to be. Many of us here deal with social anxiety, so you will find lots of tips and support.
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Old 05-17-2017, 02:45 PM
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Welcome to SR, Nion; very glad that you found us.

You will find an abundance of support, understanding and encouragement here. Hope that it will help you achieve lasting sobriety and recovery.
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Old 05-17-2017, 03:08 PM
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Nion this can and will get better if you are ready to start making changes.

When I first got serious about quitting, I started off looking online for a lot of help which first brought me to SR.
After a couple years of failed attempts on my own, I realized I needed more help in real time.
I too, at my lowest suffered from absolutely crippling social anxiety. I was terrified to leave my house, paranoid of running into anyone I knew, couldn't look anyone in the eye.. I had to be escorted into the dr's office by my addictions counselor because I shook so bad and was having a panic attack a half an hour down the road from the clinic.
It sucks. I know. I also know, with some self-kindness and the willingness to do the work it will get better.
Reach out to anyone you can and don't be afraid. There are so many resources out there with kind people ready to help. You are not alone in this, you do not have to go through this alone.

There are so many great resources on SR if you read around the site. This is a great community to be a part of. Glad you're here
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Old 05-17-2017, 03:35 PM
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Hi Nion - i'm sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult time recently, but it sounds like you might be ready to stop the rot. It is not always easy for people who do not rely on drink to understand just what a challenge it is to have to deal with ourselves without it - suddenly the self-medication stops and we have to deal with reality. I am only on Day 1 myself and am finding it all quite scary but I know the easiest and worst thing to do would be to put off stopping for yet another day. I really hope that you can find a way forward - i'm sure you will find a lot of support here
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