Lastchancesaloo

Was doing good from 4th of April, then headed to the motorbike races here in northern Ireland, everyone else was having a drink, why can't I, well everyone else is back at work, not me, and I can't seem to stop thinking about it, see that's just one if those things for me, greedy, addicted, stupid, I suppose, all of the above, I kinda need to have a listening ear to listen to my pathetic excuses, I felt so good too, without drinking was just getting where I was sleeping well, losing that bloated look, and I blew it, sorry for the rambling, hope yous are all doing well

FreeOwl

Well.

Now you know 'why can't I', right?

The answer is: you totally can.

But this is where it leads you.

What I finally came to after round upon round of this story was 'I don't WANT to'.

And so I CHOSE sobriety. Then took ACTION to support that choice.

Choice and Action are the necessary ingredients.

Getting off to an AA meeting and starting to work that program in earnest also helped.

Lastchancesaloo

Oh I know all the answers, big smart me, just gonna have to rack it up to another bad time and start again, I'm totally disappointed, no that dosnt even come close to how I feel, I'll try again, wish me luck,

FreeOwl

You know nothing.

Stop knowing.

Start doing.

LadyBlue0527

You didn't blow it. Blowing it would be the failure to recognize that you shouldn't have drank and to continue on.

You learned and now you know what you need to do. To me that's gaining wisdom.

Get right back on that wagon and this time find a firmer hold!

PhoenixJ

Time to get back up. Keep posting.

someday147

Don't beat yourself up lastchance as others have said it's good to recognize it and get back on the wagon nobody in recovery could go to that and not drink. I'm also from northern ireland I avoided the northwest this year for the first time in 10 years because knew it would be impossible not to drink. I doubt it's possible to go to it again for me actually which is sad but rather that than be a prisoner again. much more triggering than sitting in a bar all day imho.

Dee74

Welcoem back lastchance saloon
I think early recovery needs to be a time of some tough choices.

I knew darn well that there were certain places and people who would lead me back deciding to drink, so I declined a lot of invites.

That doesn't mean I sat at home moping - I was building my sobriety muscles.

I still went out and had fun - but in situations and people where alcohol was not involved.

Noone starts weight training lifting 300 pounds.

You have to work up to it and that takes some time, dedication and a little patience.

Apart from posting here what support do you have to stay sober lastchancesaloon? .

D

Lastchancesaloo

Being from where I live it seems to be the normal thing to do, I am honestly living beside 3 problem drinkers, that the three houses beside me, who are all the nicest people you know, so easy to get a drink if I want one, but I'm really not want to end up at 50 still doing this same crap, (46 I am), going to the races was not the best idea, although I never drank there, went to joeys bar. Big mistake I know, but that's over no point in dwelling on that now, and it was lashing with rain you had a lucky escape, all the best on your recovery

Lastchancesaloo

Hi Dee, I'm just gonna be one minute one hour, one day at the minute, first day for me is always crap, but I made it yesterday, so here's to today, to be honest, my family are all behind me, when I lift a drink my 25 yr old daughter says oh please no mammy, its not nice to hear but when that hits I hadn't the will to put the glass down, I'm trying to keep busy, decorating my wee granddaughters room, this will be a busy time, but keeping busy until supper time is my only answer, I'll post back if I feel like a drink, but I hope I can get through today, its always in the back of my mind telling me just a glass of wine, little s##t, wish that voice would leave me alone