bimbott

Hi everybody,

well, I've made it to 9 weeks - sober and nicotine free and in many ways it has not be the process I'd expected.

Before this period of sobriety I have only ever stopped drinking once before for more than a few days that was for a month last year (I only intended to stop for a month - Dry January). I believe that I experienced the "pink cloud" during this period - I felt bl**dy fantastic.. full of joie de vivre, waltzing around humming and singing, no doubt really annoying everyone else! So, naturally I was expecting that feeling this time. I didn't realise that what I had felt the last time was a 'thing' and had a name, I assumed that it was my 'normal' without alcohol.

I guess it's not my normal. I can't say I'm not disappointed, and as a result, feeling quite depressed about things - is this miserable, angry, emotionally overwhelmed person me?

I don't think I was particularly realistic about my recovery when I started - to be honest, I hadn't given it much thought beyond stopping drinking. In my mind, I seem to have attributed becoming sober with being a magic bullet for all of life's problems, so it really isn't very surprising that I'm feeling low.

I have also become a mint humbug addict :-(

On the plus side, I know that I am very vulnerable to relapse at the moment, so I am on my guard and taking steps to sort out my blood sugar levels which is, I assume, why I am stock piling humbugs!?

I would very much appreciate some reassurance or advice.

Thank you

MrMcTell

I know this feeling very well indeed. There is no doubt in mind that the biggest problem in my life was (and still is) alcohol but simply removing it from my life hasn't fixed everything by any means.

At least you can address things in a clear and rational manner now that you are sober!

tomls

It does get better! When I was 60 something days in I was all over the place! Up one minute down the next. I think they call it PAWS. You have a lot to look forward to! Hang in there!

saoutchik

Hi bimbott, congratulations on 9 weeks!

I expect that the fact that you were only stopping temporarily in January made a difference to how you felt. This time it is to be permanent and that can be daunting and depressing if you dwell on it.

Another thing was that the second month was really tough for me too and things didn't improve until the second half of month three. Maybe that turns out to be the same for you.

All the best.

CreativeThinker

Nice job on 9 weeks Bimbott! Hang in there and give it more time. I've found that my moods are up and down regularly.

HopeandFaith1

Thank you for posting this Bimbott. I do understand what you're going through. It is discouraging when the pink cloud seems to go away. I've got almost a year now after a 20 year binge and I can tell you that ups and downs in sobriety (particularly early sobriety) seem to be quite common.

I would be careful trying to find "normal" at this stage in sobriety - you are going to go through a lot of changes and things might not be normal for a while. You may feel way up or way low which is quite aggravating after awhile, but it what it is.

I can tell you every low I've had since I quit has not been nearly as bad as the lows I hit drinking.

If you are concerned about your mental well being you might want to consider seeing your doctor, or a doctor. I was lucky enough to find an addiction psychiatrist who has been very good about listening and working with me and trying (non narcotic) medication to obtain the best possible result.

Everyone's experiences are different, but almost a year in and I do feel like I'm leveling out. Life doesn't stop just because we quit drinking and it is difficult to get used to handling emotions and stress without alcohol to fall back on.

But you know what, I think you've got this. Nine weeks is impressive. Don't isolate, post, go to meetings, see a doctor, do whatever you need to do to get through this. I do sincerely believe you will be much happier and healthier for it. I wish you the best of luck and lots of blessings.

bimbott

Thank you people!! I really needed those words and those thoughts. I can go to bed now with some renewed determination and my camomile tea :-)
No humbugs!!