God-winks - signs of recovery

Old 05-15-2017, 08:01 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
God-winks - signs of recovery

My wife, P, and I just got back from visiting our daughter, K, in Delray Beach, FL – “Recovery Capitol of the Southeast”. At just 5 days, the visit was too short, but we are grateful for whatever time we can have with her.

Our daughter, K, is 13 months clean from her last run of heroin and crack.

K is living with a couple who are also in recovery and dating a fellow in recovery. Their clean time runs from almost 10 years to K who is the “youngster” at 13 months.

The dynamic between these four is both interesting and encouraging to watch. They have all substituted physical fitness as an alternative addiction – I can think of many things worse! The “black sheep” of the group is the female of the other couple who is also the youngest at 20 years old – she is the only one who will admit that she would like to have that chocolate, cookie or ice cream. Daily they all make their pilgrimages to their gyms and work out. K and the 20 y.o. both belong to the same gym which is very close to their house and they frequently go together. The guys are more into body building and use a different gym.

Their routines are similar with minor adjustments made for work schedules. Wake up, gym, shower, meeting (NA or CA) and then on with the rest of their day. They shop and cook together at times and are always watching, and commenting on, what the others are eating – protein shakes seem to be a popular item in this household.

In any event K seems happy and looks great – healthy, tan, down to a size 7 again. But almost more importantly she seems to be getting back some of her old pre-addiction personality traits.

We went to dinner at a nice seafood restaurant the second evening we were with her.

It was a very pleasant evening and we decided to take one of their outside tables. K works as a server at an upscale gastro pub and is not bashful at all about asking for whatever she wants from other servers – they all seem to know and recognize other servers and nothing seems to bother them – there is an almost instant rapport between them – members of the same club. This restaurant provides large glass bottles filled with chilled water on the tables and ours was replaced during our meal.

As we enjoyed our two shared appetizers, a 30-ish young man swooped in and sat down on a sidewalk bench nearby. He wore short pants, tee shirt and sneakers – the only thing odd about his appearance was that he was a blonde, white guy with dreadlocks – but this is a recovery town filled with free spirits and I really did not think much of it. He was carrying a plastic bag which held a foam take out food container. He opened his container, unwrapped new plastic flatware and proceeded to eat what appeared to be a salad of some sort.

When he had finished with his food, he discarded the container in a nearby trash can and returned to the bench. At this point he began fishing around in various pockets and produced several cigarette butts which he lit and smoked to the very end. At this point I finally figured out that this fellow was homeless and not just another free spirit out for an open air dinner on the Avenue. He laid down on the bench and began a silent conversation with himself – lips moving without any sound, lost in his own world; he would squint and make hand gestures during his conversation with himself – like he was grasping a ball, but there was no ball there. K and I were both seated so we could see this man; mom, P, was seated with him behind her. I knew K was watching him but not saying anything.

We had all ordered what seemed to be a reasonable amount of food but were somewhat surprised when our orders arrived. The portions were large and I suspected that we would be asking for to-go boxes later. As soon as the entrees arrived, K asked for a to-go box for the one uneaten ahi tuna taco which we had left from the appetizers – she said she would take it home for her boyfriend J.

We continued with dinner and the homeless man continued with his hand gestures occasionally even though his personal silent conversation had ended.

As we slowed down in our eating it was apparent that we would all have significant leftovers. K asked for another to-go box – she would take the leftovers to J. P and I asked if J would eat our leftovers also – I had one largish piece of cod, a mound of French fries and some coleslaw left, P had salad and grilled tuna, K had additional tuna.

K transferred all of our leftovers to the to-go box, turning down the French fries and coleslaw (too much grease and mayo for J!). The server appeared and removed our plates as we declared them finished. We requested the check and the server disappeared.

K closed the box and was putting it into the plastic bag provided when suddenly she said – “Screw it! J has enough food!” I suspected what was coming, but said nothing – P was clueless as she had not seen the mini-drama playing out on the bench behind her during dinner.

K got up and gave our leftovers to the man on the bench – THERE IT WAS!, her pre-addiction empathy for those less fortunate has returned! That gesture of human kindness means the world to me – she really IS on the road to recovery. My heart sang! God speaks to me in mysterious ways. A Catholic priest that I know would call this a "God-wink".

Once P figured out what had just happened she told K, “That was a very nice thing to do.”

The man thanked K, opened the box and began to eat ravenously – it was obvious that he was very hungry – hungry like most of us have not experienced or at least not often. My only regret was that my left over, half-pound of French fries had been sent to the restaurant's trash cans - the calories would not have hurt this fellow.

The server appeared with the check and K asked (more like demanded) a to-go cup with a straw. The server quickly returned with a cup with ice, lid and straw – K was filling the cup from the water bottle on the table and the man got up to leave – “stop! don’t go, this is for you – it’s hot outside and you need this.” He thanked her again and was quickly absorbed by the crowd.

P and I saw him again later in our visit – sitting in a small park with some other homeless folks. I could not help but think – there but for the Grace of God goes my daughter.

Keep coming back,

Jim
JimC60 is offline  
Old 05-15-2017, 06:55 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 4
Thanks for this post - it's nice to know that somewhere, under all of the darkness of addiction, the good-hearted person we once knew is still somewhere inside. I hope your daughter continues to find happiness in helping others and allows that to fuel her recovery.
starseeker is offline  
Old 05-15-2017, 07:54 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
under new management
 
2ndhandrose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,338
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story
2ndhandrose is offline  
Old 05-16-2017, 05:02 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Jim, your story touched my heart and I am so proud of your daughter...and of you for spotting the "God-wink".

Take recovery and addiction out of the equation and your daughter was a kind person who fed a hungry homeless man. That's the kindness we all can learn from.

Thank you for sharing this, and God bless your daughter for seeing a need and filling it.

Hugs
Ann is offline  
Old 05-16-2017, 09:47 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Thank you Jim for this beautiful share!
TT
Ilovemysonjj is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:57 PM.