Stewy84

Starts now

Keeping it simple, choosing not to drink and following my planned routine for the day

When I get to bed tonight, I will be sober

FreedomCA

Just try and stay sober hour by hour. Take each hour as a success. Wishing you the best!

Dee74

I hope you'll re-read your last thread Stewy and a few before that.
I realise you may not like it all, but there've been some mighty suggestions.

D

KittenMittens

I'm on going into Day 2 myself Stewy. Good luck to you . I've had a rocky few weeks as I keep having to start over, but I'm hoping this is the last time. Posting here really helps me, and I hope it helps you also.

PhoenixJ

Support

Stewy84

Yes I'll re-read everything

Pretty much from the start of this relapse

It is a gold mine of info

I'm sober now, and throughout the rest of my work day

Will post after work

The real risk time is between 4 and 8pm

That is when the AV goes into overdrive

I've got my sword and shield ready to defend myself at all costs

jaume1

Coumd you find something to do when you finish work that will take your mind off of things and keep you busy? Hit the gym or something?

Stewy84

I collect my daughter from school

She stays with me until 7pm

Then I have band practice

This has not been enough in the past few weeks to stop me drinking

I have to accept that and tool myself up to fight the AV head on

joandmelandhan

Stewy the only thing I can say is that I too have been on the binge relapse train for over a year now. I'm now 24 days sober so still very much a newbie at sobriety. The thing that started happening to me was each time without fail the withdrawal got more severe. I had undoubtedly underestimated the disease of alcoholism and how it truly is progressive. I spent a week at least in utter fear and minutes seemed like hours. Digging deeper than I ever had before was the only thing I had left. Like you (I'm guessing) I felt I simply could not seek professional help as I'm terrified of losing my kids so I roughed it out under close supervision of my partner. Risky? Yes. Dangerous? Maybe. It has to be worth every last ounce of will and effort Stewy we are saving our lives and providing a future for our kids. Please dig deep. Please get your head on the pillow each night sober. Please go to the docs if your symptoms worsen.
Stay in touch we are all praying you turn the corner friend ❤❤❤

ScottFromWI

What exactly is the "sword and shield" that you plan on using at 4pm? What will you do differently today that you didn't do yesterday or other day 1s that you have started over the past several weeks?

rainyengland

You can do this !

If it gets too much get on here and get help before you pick up bottle not after

Stewy84

It starts with a voice that says go and buy beers

Then thoughts follow about me sitting and drinking the beers and that it will be nice to do that

I've been having them for the last half an hour

I'm dismissing the thoughts and I will continue to do this

The sword and shield is a reference to me defending myself mentally

Fending off the stupidity of the thoughts

I'm also getting up and moving about when the thoughts come- distracting myself

RainbowBird

I'm rooting for you! Prayers and support! Others have already given great suggestions, so I'll leave my post short for now.

CreativeThinker

Sending you strength Stewy.

Question: Are others drinking at your band practices?

Stewy84

Sometimes yes, other times no

I've been fine with that for ages but the last 8 weeks have been awful

It's harder this second time around

Need to dig my feet in though

I'll be good with a few day under my belt

nme13

Today is also my first day. I'm rooting for you.

CreativeThinker

Do you think it would make sense to avoid band practice until you get back on your feet?

Do your band members know that you're adamant about your recovery?

Bobbieka

Stewy - Rooting for you here too. You can do this. Maybe sit down and make a plan when you are sitting with your daughter. She sits and does homework and you can too. You know where the links are. You've got this!

AnvilheadII

how about instead of BAND practice. you attend SOBER practice? like an AA meeting? until YOU do things different, you'll get the same results, Stewy. and i'd HATE to see a post in a few hours about you giving in to drinking again.

what i am NOT "hearing" in your posts is the resolute commitment to NOT drinking again EVER. the way you shut down the addict voice is with a strong resounding NO, each and ever time. you don't argue, or debate, or in any way let the thoughts linger. you stand firmly by your decision to NOT drink, under any circumstances, no matter what.

and then you go about "proving" that out thru determined ACTION.

whatever it takes.

every day ask yourself two questions:

What am i WILLING to do for my recovery today?

What am i GOING TO DO for my recovery today?

willingness + action is the key.

SoberLeigh

Make it so, Stewy!!!!!!