WeaverBird

It's Friday again and that means relapse for me. I will be sad to relapse cos I've done so well this week. I've got thru all the hard stuff sober.
But I can't cope w/this man situation I've got myself into on Fridays.
I drink like an effing demon over it. Only I've learned a little bit about alcohol and I'm frightened I won't stop and I'll die.
Really hard to be honest about it. But what the hell maybe someone can help.

rainyengland

Be positive! Friday is best way to hit weekend as you mean to go on ..sober!

Saturdays are a lot more fun not having a hangover from hell - plan your sober Saturday out now.

Dee74

You have to believe you can make it through sober.
No matter what emotions you're feelings, or predicaments you're in...

Go to whatever lengths you need to - don't be afraid to change your plans.

Put yourself first.

sit on SR all night...hit an AA meeting...or stay home, get into your Pj's give your keys and wallet to someone for safekeeping.

There is NO reason why you have to drink tonight Weev.

If you believe you will fold and drink, chances are you will...and you'll be stuck in this weekly cycle.

Make this a turning point...stay with us - you can do this

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

WeaverBird

It's another addiction, isn't it? Another way of avoiding emotions. He's working on the landlords property so he's in my house. I've come out. I'm walking the dog in the pouring rain. He don't mind!
I think that swelling round my middle is going down. My liver still hurts a bit. I could go to a lunchtime meeting but struggling to commit. If you go to a meeting you shut the door on the addiction. That's right isn't it? How do I make myself go?

Dee74

Whatever this attachment is doesn't seem like it's a healthy thing for you Weev,

You deserve to be treated better...by yourself.

Going to a lunch meeting could be a great start to changing the way you treat yourself.

D

WeaverBird

It's an hours drive away but if I leave now ish I could get there. It'll keep me out of the house.
I so badly badly badly want that week. I so badly don't want to drink.

Dee74

I think you should go. Different choices lead to different results.
Take your phone with you to stay connected to SR

D

WeaverBird

I'm on my way

PhoenixJ

Keep posting

jaume1

Hang in there dude! I'm not going to drink today, nothing. I'm going to wake up tomorrow feeling proud of what i've done today and you too 😀

Dee74

I'm glad you went Weev. Let us know how you're going.

D

August252015

It doesn't have to mean relapse. It can mean another day sober. You already know (said here) that you will regret drinking again. I don't know the "man situation" ..... I do know that putting myself in a safe place - ie at home, or with non-drinking people- in early days was one of the best preventive measures I took.

Did you make the meeting?

Stay sober- Sat will bring much better thoughts and feelings if you don't wake up after drinking.

WeaverBird

Yeah the meeting was loud, a riot, big. But good person sharing. I'm walking in the English rain again. I'm not going home. I know it's not the way to deal with it but at least I stand a chance then. I must have twenty miles. I'll go to another meeting tonight. I've got to get sober. I just have to.

doggonecarl

I'm not sure what this "man situation" is that is driving you to drink. Care to elaborate? Perhaps we can pose a solution.

Nonsensical

It only means that to the alcoholic living in your head.
Don't listen to that d-bag.
To everyone else it means the day after Thursday.
You can do this!

biminiblue

Sounds like you did all the right things.

How are you today, Weev? I hope whatever this man situation is you can find a way to either end it or find a peaceful way to live with it. Self-destruction is never the answer.

WeaverBird

Yeah. I slept w/married man. He's working for landlord on Fridays in my home. I relapse every time. I can't can't do it again. Too afraid of blackout, everything. I'm not going home because I don't know how to deal with it.

WeaverBird

I am insane. It feels ok in my head. In meeting I didn't remember lady I sat next to last night. I just drove half hour towards London in wrong direction. In petrol station w/a liquor store. F--k. Fukitty F--k. Standing by the motorway. All those cars and noise. F--k

biminiblue

You're okay, Weev. It's just anxiety which is normal in early sobriety. Breathe in through your nose to a count of 4. Hold the breath to a count of 7. Breathe out from your mouth to a count of 8.

Repeat. 4-7-8

This will pass. It is a rewiring of your central nervous system. It will get better if you stay sober.

((hug)) We are here.

PhoenixJ