Nyah30

I'm on day 7 of being sober and it's going ok, cravings aren't too bad and I think what's contributing to me staying on track is that Iv had a very structured routine this week and nothing can throw me off as I'm very focused on my sobriety being the most important thing right now. However, on Saturday my sister is having her hen do which is at a cocktail bar so I'm feeling extremely worried about being faced with alcohol and people expecting me to drink and I'm worried il cave in as I'm so early on in this journey. Her wedding is abroad in June and I'm worrying about that too as il be surrounded by loads of heavy drinkers and totally out of my comfort zone as we are there for the week. They are also saying they want to go wine tasting which for me will obviously be a disaster!

FreeOwl

No need to panic.... just don't go.

This one is obvious.

As hard as it feels - bowing out of a 'hen do' - an event purely-focused on boozing - is not a dishonor to your sister. It's not 'missing out'. It's not anything but HONORING YOUR SELF and preserving your LIFE over the convenience and expecation of others.

"I'm really sorry to bail, but it's critical to my personal well-being that I don't immerse myself in drinking-focused events right now".

Maybe offer to host a less-boozy alternative. A nice horse-riding outing for the ladies. A sailboat ride. A little afternoon getaway at a spa.....

You're not obligated to risk your life for your sister or anyone else.

doggonecarl

No howevers. If sobriety is the most important thing, do whatever you have to do to support that decision.

SummerBee

Is your sister aware that you are on a journey to sobriety. If she is, it should be a lot easier to not go. If she isnt she may take offence but as has already been said.......you must put yourself first, crucial at this point in your recovery. I wish you luck.
SB

Anna

There are many very hard decisions in early sobriety, and this is one of them.

You need to put your sobriety first, no question about that.

notgonnastoptry

Well, learn something new everyday. I didn't know what a hen do it.

Don't go. The number of events I'm missing like this 10 months in is incredible. The aren't really social events, but a part of work with white glove service and top shelf liquor/wine, etc. I'm invited to multiple receptions 2x each year. Today, in fact, I was lingering over one because they bring in a chef from France. I want the food, but I don't feel like going if I can't have the drink. good luck.

KPForever

Hi there,

This is just a suggestion - what if you were to be open with a few trusted people at the Hen party and the wedding that drinking is bad for you and you are in recovery. If they stick by our side, you'll be able to preserve you're sobriety..you already have the plus point of being focused on sobriety.

My sister would never let me live down not attending her wedding events..or now..her children's bday parties (obviously there was no drinking at the kid's birthdays lol).

Personally, at family functions... I have a few close family members watch out for me. And thus, i've stayed sober at those particular events.

The danger zone for me is being alone, that is when I drink.