New here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
New here
This is my first time posting on here.
I'm reaching out today because I know I need help.
To start off, I started drinking in high school and was raised by an alcoholic. I dropped out when I was fifteen and started getting into a lot of trouble and dabbling with drugs.
When I got into the restaurant business my drinking really skyrocketed. I have to fight myself not to have a drink and usually give up by the end of my shift. Drinking every day is pretty normalised in the restaurant business but it's seriously ruining my life.
I have told my boyfriend and friends that I am going to quit so many times that it just sounds like a big joke now.
I'm worried that my boyfriend will leave me if I don't get this under control.
I've tried counselling and I've tried taking antabuse but I somehow always end up convincing myself that this time will be better and that I have everything under control. I always go back to drinking.
I'm really freaked out. Am I ever going to get better?
I'm reaching out today because I know I need help.
To start off, I started drinking in high school and was raised by an alcoholic. I dropped out when I was fifteen and started getting into a lot of trouble and dabbling with drugs.
When I got into the restaurant business my drinking really skyrocketed. I have to fight myself not to have a drink and usually give up by the end of my shift. Drinking every day is pretty normalised in the restaurant business but it's seriously ruining my life.
I have told my boyfriend and friends that I am going to quit so many times that it just sounds like a big joke now.
I'm worried that my boyfriend will leave me if I don't get this under control.
I've tried counselling and I've tried taking antabuse but I somehow always end up convincing myself that this time will be better and that I have everything under control. I always go back to drinking.
I'm really freaked out. Am I ever going to get better?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Well, you're here and that's a great start. Welcome to the forum. There are a lot of similarities in our drinking. I thought I was hopeless. I finally started AA and an addiction therapist. I think that's when I knew I was all in.
There's so much help here. You can do it.
There's so much help here. You can do it.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome to SR!!!
Of all the lies my addiction ever told me, I think I liked this one most. I certainly fell for it enough times. Hundreds, maybe thousands.
Once I realized it was never going to be better. It was never going to be different - that the addicted part of my brain was lying to me - I was able to move on.
You can do this.
Originally Posted by lmeg 
I somehow always end up convincing myself that this time will be better
Once I realized it was never going to be better. It was never going to be different - that the addicted part of my brain was lying to me - I was able to move on.
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Some years ago, it was my first time posting on here.
I was reaching out because I knew I needed help.
To start off, I started drinking in high school and was raised by an alcoholic.
I dropped out when I was seventeen and started getting into a lot of trouble and had been dabbling with drugs and drinking since I was 14.
When I got into college and then the military, my drinking really skyrocketed.
I often had to fight myself not to have a drink and usually gave up by the end of my the day.
Drinking every day is pretty normalised in the IT business but it was seriously ruining my life.
I have told my former wives and friends that I am going to quit so many times that it just sounded like a lie or a joke.
I secretly tried and failed to quit over and over.
I'm worried my life would end if I didn't get this under control.
I tried counselling and moderation and AA but I somehow always ended up convincing myself that this time will be better and that I have everything under control. I always went back to drinking.
At one point I was really freaked out... was I ever going to get better???
THEN I MADE A CHOICE.
I CHOSE TO EMBRACE SOBRIETY.
THEN I TOOK ACTION.
I ACTED EVERY DAY WITH SMALL AND LARGE ACTIONS IN SUPPORT OF THAT CHOICE.
I am over 3 years sober and living a great life.
You can, too.
I was once right where you are.
I was reaching out because I knew I needed help.
To start off, I started drinking in high school and was raised by an alcoholic.
I dropped out when I was seventeen and started getting into a lot of trouble and had been dabbling with drugs and drinking since I was 14.
When I got into college and then the military, my drinking really skyrocketed.
I often had to fight myself not to have a drink and usually gave up by the end of my the day.
Drinking every day is pretty normalised in the IT business but it was seriously ruining my life.
I have told my former wives and friends that I am going to quit so many times that it just sounded like a lie or a joke.
I secretly tried and failed to quit over and over.
I'm worried my life would end if I didn't get this under control.
I tried counselling and moderation and AA but I somehow always ended up convincing myself that this time will be better and that I have everything under control. I always went back to drinking.
At one point I was really freaked out... was I ever going to get better???
THEN I MADE A CHOICE.
I CHOSE TO EMBRACE SOBRIETY.
THEN I TOOK ACTION.
I ACTED EVERY DAY WITH SMALL AND LARGE ACTIONS IN SUPPORT OF THAT CHOICE.
I am over 3 years sober and living a great life.
You can, too.
I was once right where you are.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Welcome, and yes, it will get better when you accept that you can never drink again, ever, no matter what. Then you can begin your journey of recovery and have the life you want to have. I'm glad you found us, and know for sure that you can do this!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Woodburn, OR
Posts: 422
Welcome! As a newly sober person, 23 days today, I can say you're in a really supportive place. Stick around, read, post and tackle this. I too never thought I could get better at times and just became so sick of myself and the sober/binge routine that decided to make myself better no matter how hard. And I slowly am. We can do this 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
You've definitely come to the right place for support. Sounds like you are just realizing that drinking has become a serious problem for you. Everybody here has been there and knows what you are going through, so stay close to SR. The support and advice will amaze you. John
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Hi and welcome Imeg
I used to despair I'd never get better too - but alcohol was still in my life - heck, alcohol was my life...
To really get better that had to change - I had to get rid of alcohol in my life.
It's a big ask, a little scary and not much fun at the beginning..but it gets better - and there's support here 24/7 to help you through
No one would stay sober if they thought they had lost on the deal - I love sober me and I love sober life.
I hope you'll find the same for yourself
D
I used to despair I'd never get better too - but alcohol was still in my life - heck, alcohol was my life...
To really get better that had to change - I had to get rid of alcohol in my life.
It's a big ask, a little scary and not much fun at the beginning..but it gets better - and there's support here 24/7 to help you through
No one would stay sober if they thought they had lost on the deal - I love sober me and I love sober life.
I hope you'll find the same for yourself
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,522
Imeg - it's great to meet you. I drank for 30 yrs. & have been sober almost 10 - so yes, you can definitely do this & it will get better.
Talking things over here is what made the difference for me. I was no longer alone - and everyone understood. I hope you'll keep reading & posting. We care.
Talking things over here is what made the difference for me. I was no longer alone - and everyone understood. I hope you'll keep reading & posting. We care.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,637
Welcome Imeg..stuff CAN get better, WILL get better if you work at it. Just hoping, doing stuff in the same way, wishing- don't mean much without results.
AA/SMART/Counselling/Doc/SR- you need to work at it.
Empathy and support to you.
PJ
AA/SMART/Counselling/Doc/SR- you need to work at it.
Empathy and support to you.
PJ
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 41
Imeg-
Not sure how old you are, but I think we come from similar backgrounds. My parents were both also functioning alcoholics, then immediately after high school I started in the restaurant business, bartended many years all the way up until I was nearly 30 (in my 20s it was a side job, but still a situation where alcohol every day was a normalized behavior).
My brother, 6 years younger than me, was obviously raised by the same parents, and also entered into the restaurant business/bartended his way through college. About a year ago he told me, very timidly, (at the age of 23), "I drink almost every day...I never knew that wasn't normal, but I don't know many other people who do this."
I think the combo of both of us coming from a family of alcoholics and then entering into the restaurant business (I totally get it, you're a complete saint if you're not doing hard drugs in restaurants...weed, alcohol, even cocaine on a daily basis is par for the course in that environement) coupled with our genetics just led us to a point where we never learned what normal was.
The best thing I ever did was just get out of that environment. I'm still very close to my parents but they moved away from my hometown, so I don't have to be over there for weekly dinners while everyone is getting sloshed. And everyone I worked with in the restaurant business gives each other a hard time for not drinking, let alone deciding you're ready to quit.
Of course, leaving the restaurant business, especially if you're a server or bartender, is so difficult because the money just can't compare to what you'd make elsewhere. Maybe a higher end restaurant, or heck, even a breakfast place would be a good idea?
((hugs))
Not sure how old you are, but I think we come from similar backgrounds. My parents were both also functioning alcoholics, then immediately after high school I started in the restaurant business, bartended many years all the way up until I was nearly 30 (in my 20s it was a side job, but still a situation where alcohol every day was a normalized behavior).
My brother, 6 years younger than me, was obviously raised by the same parents, and also entered into the restaurant business/bartended his way through college. About a year ago he told me, very timidly, (at the age of 23), "I drink almost every day...I never knew that wasn't normal, but I don't know many other people who do this."
I think the combo of both of us coming from a family of alcoholics and then entering into the restaurant business (I totally get it, you're a complete saint if you're not doing hard drugs in restaurants...weed, alcohol, even cocaine on a daily basis is par for the course in that environement) coupled with our genetics just led us to a point where we never learned what normal was.
The best thing I ever did was just get out of that environment. I'm still very close to my parents but they moved away from my hometown, so I don't have to be over there for weekly dinners while everyone is getting sloshed. And everyone I worked with in the restaurant business gives each other a hard time for not drinking, let alone deciding you're ready to quit.
Of course, leaving the restaurant business, especially if you're a server or bartender, is so difficult because the money just can't compare to what you'd make elsewhere. Maybe a higher end restaurant, or heck, even a breakfast place would be a good idea?
((hugs))
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 12
Hi, i'm new to SR so don't have a huge amount to share. I'm just trying to log on every day, comment and learn from from all these people. Today is day six.
I've got a stressful few days coming up so what i'm doing is imagining being offered alcohol and practising my refusal, over and over again in my head. Also reminding myself why i'm saying no, even to one glass of bubbly to toast.
I've got a stressful few days coming up so what i'm doing is imagining being offered alcohol and practising my refusal, over and over again in my head. Also reminding myself why i'm saying no, even to one glass of bubbly to toast.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
