AlaskaGirl

I broke 4 months of abstinence the weekend before last.

I won't go into all the details, because why?

The important lesson for me is that night of drinking a week and a half ago led to an all out blackout binge this Sunday.

I have been practicing AVRT, the Rational Recovery method. I want to make it clear my dive off the wagon had zero to do with a failure of this program. It was me. I made the choice. I felt it when it happened. I could have stopped it and I didn't.

So now I pick myself up, dust myself off, and be greatful I have another chance to never drink again. I'm sorry to those who have supported me that I did such a stupid thing. I hesitated to post about it but I want to be true to this group and therefor myself. Onward.

Dee74

I'm glad you made it back

D

FreedomCA

Stay positive and don't give up.

Done4today

Learn from it and move on. You can do this!

tursiops999

Glad you're back, AG.

Behappy1

This quitting drinking is tough stuff. I have and can do so much in my life, but this is by far one of the hardest things I've ever wrestled.

Wholesome

Sorry to hear Alaskagirl. Just have to shore up those breaches in your BP, learn from this setback, keep your eye on the prize, and carry on!

Mizzuno

So glad you made it back here. You can do this. A minor setback is all this has to be and nothing more. What is important is that you move forward and gain that trust in yourself again.

We are all here on the same mission. It feels tremendously good to have this support, doesn't it?

Take care.

Anna

AlaskaGirl, I'm glad you're back. It's good that you recognize that it was your choice and not the program that caused the relapse. I was in denial and for a long time I believed my relapses 'just happened'. That doesn't lead anywhere productive. You had 4 months of sobriety and you can do it again.

SoberAlkie

Congrats, AlaskaGirl! You're in great company here, as I'm sure most of us have relapsed at least once.
The important thing is that you're sober now, today, and that you're not laying the blame for your "slip" on anyone else.
Yes, recovery is hard work, but it gets much easier as time goes on.
Just for today, because that's all we have.

AlaskaGirl

Thank you all for the gentle responses. If there is any silver lining to this for me it is that things escalated so quickly.

One night of partying with friends led to another night of parting with friends a week later, and that led to drinking all day the next day, straight vodka, blacked out by noonish. I was alone, I'm lucky I didn't kill myself. I finally feel human today. Looking forward to getting back that awesome feeling of being completely free of the accute withdrawal.

My time abstinent was wonderful. 1000 times better than anything I experience when drinking. There is no doubt for me. Thank you SR.

Delizadee

Glad you're back too, and good choice to get back on with your plan. It's always we come back as quick as possible of we have a slip backwards. So that's a positive. You can do this

MariahGayle

Onward AG

PhoenixJ

(WITH APOLS TO BATMAN)

Alfred to little Bruce when he gets freaked...

What do we do when we fall down Master Bruce? We pick ourselves up and start again. Never be sorry to others for being frail at times and human. You are stronger than you think.